Wednesday, November 27, 2013

the perks of being...

it's when we hang out when i felt it's right out of the movie.
it's really nice, and fun.
J forever calling shot gun, while S leads the way.
i'll be sitting at the back, enjoying whichever adventure the 2 of them would bring me into
always they told me to participate,
and so i did.
told you it's like the movies
so we took a good ol' drive.
to JB,
all the good food,
and some ice chilled beer.
it's really nice,

back at 5,
& i almost died at work the day after.
totally worth it (:

Saturday, November 23, 2013

the wedding.

finally,
she wed.

there we go again,
to witness the beautiful event of the second twin.
i could see the wrinkles in my elder's forehead,
lining up above their brows,
marking their age upon earth.

i daresay,
marriage is a sacred event,
where happiness took place,
laughter lightens up the ballroom,
where we drank,
we laugh,
we toast to the joy we had,
it's happy,
i was, indeed truly happy.

i saw how they walk down the aisle,
all of us know what's coming next.
the local life,
the path where we would face the same challenges,
the huge debts bestowed upon us,
how raising kids is such an expensive chore,
having a car is considered a luxury,
how we get soften by illnesses and time
but at that moment,
you know it's all worth it.

Richard and i drank again,
heartwarming i guess.
we're all smiles,
he's his usual high.
alot of people said i got his genes for drinking,
not exactly, i guess.
maybe i'd got his genes for seeking happiness from drinking.
how i got so moved when he said,
how terrible he felt, seeing his mom like that,
he isn't always good with expressing his feelings,
but when i saw him holding her hands, looking at her with his eyes.
i know that moment is true.
that moment, that i would never forgets,
my ice-cold dad, being his trueself for the first time.

===

i felt like a drama,
when i bought my girlfriend towards my grandma,
hearing her calling her "ah ma".
that's i believe,
is the bliss of growing up.

===

i bought u into my world,
the party, the liquor,
the fight of social status,
the superficial,
the party lights, and the ever squeezing crowd.
the norm?
i'm not sure about that,
maybe everyone just wants to escape,
for that bit, and be a retard.
but i guess, this is one weird, beautiful night.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

"we're made for greater things"

nothing special of sort.
just have this weird feeling,
the peculiar need to write,
it could be nonsense,
well i'm not sure where my fingers are heading,
but i'll just have them dance and see what comes out of it.

my week's pretty routine recently,
clocking an average $8 an hour paycheck,
what i did was basically making phone calls over and over again.

albeit the lost of passion for the league,
i dwell soulless when i get back,
probably nothing much to look forward to, until my next escape.
life's okay, i guess?
my timeline is literally frozen.
frozen by routine,

sourcing for good place to eat,
to chill,
and i guess i managed to found one while scrolling through my weekly dosage of I-S Magazine.
district 10.
google it up.
i need a new place for drinks.



that thunder,
i wonder if you can hear it.

i'm just unusually motivated today,
i'm all hyped up.
i wanna do something
i wanna create something
i just want to get out of my life and to be born anew

i dont care whether is it the gypsy syndrome or what so ever
i never want to be an NPC
u know what i'm talking about,
everyone wants to be the one;

the guy who pulls the sword out of the rock
the girl who's feet fit the glass slippers
the guy who lift up thor's hammer
the girl who marries the beast who turns into the prince
the guy who score the last minute goal
the girl who light up the orchard runway
the boy who lives

whoever we want to be,
i believe, we could make it,
if we believes,

succumb and you will fall,
into the well of frogs,
who croak and never sees it all

Mantra of the Week
"we're made for greater things"

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

lost

i'd lost it.
i sat at my desk,
sneaking a gentle peak to my orb that rest at the corner.
ashamed to even look at it, as if i'd done it wrong.

maybe it's time for the hiatus again.
to take a breather away from the league.

Friday, November 15, 2013

domino!

domino friday!
nth better to do other than watching little tiles falling onto each other.

G & S 4 - Domino World Record - The Longest 3D Structure


275,000 Dominoes - Enjoy Your Life (Guinness World Record

most domino toppled in a spiral)


Monday, November 11, 2013

poems 2

Seeker

where can i begin?
the love of my life
my soul mate,
i'd found them all, 
yet what else am i looking for?


Answers

the message in the bottle, 
the stars in the skies
tiny oracles
the places where answers flutter
we look everywhere, 
but where they actually lies?


20 Things To Do In Your 20s

20 Things to Do in Yours 20s from THOUGHT CATALOG

was reading my feeds again i think this is something quite worthy to share to everyone out there

&i wanted to do the little checklist test myself


  1. Have a roommate you love (improvising with a friend)
  2. Have a roommate you hate (improvising with a friend)
  3. Fall head over heels for someone who treats you like dirt
  4. Let go of someone you've been holding onto
  5. Have one night you'll never forget and that you can't remember
  6. Make a life changing mistake
  7. Royally piss off your parents
  8. Date
  9. Go out to dinner by yourself
  10. Take a huge risk (no balls)
  11. Move
  12. Get a pet (a pet fish that last for 2 days, counted?)
  13. Donate your college clothes (not college clothes thou)
  14. Figure yourself out 
  15. Exercise
  16. Pig out on junk food
  17. Watch the news
  18. Keep your resume updated
  19. Work your ass off
  20. Enjoy it

Saturday, November 9, 2013

tranform

wont it be nice,
to take control of your life?
how about taking BACK control of your life?
after you'd lost control of it?

now here's a real deal for me.
i'd been losing my sense of direction for quite sometime now,
and i'm still not sure when when would i find the right way.
but maybe i'm not that lost now.
i'd been chucking off tons of to do lists,
escaping lots of reminder emails,
not doing anything,
bumming around,
rooting my sorry ass on my chair and not leaving unless it's toilet breaks,
doing nth only to find myself pushing away articles and things to do only to find my sorry soul rotting away in summoner's rift.
i have to get out,
i need to get out,
out of here.
fresh air.
i'm,
suffocating.

at the very least,
maybe i'm slowly finding my way back on track.
i began exercising,
i tried to make running a routine, still trying to do so,
i keep up with the world everyday, i'm reading my feeds daily, still.
i got back into reading, just done with 2 novels that i'd been procrastinating with.
(if you really wanna know, it's the fault in our stars and the perks of being a wallflower)
i tried to think positive everyday,
everyday is like a challenge for me, i learn to love my job, i learn to tell myself to stay strong,
i started to be independent,
i began sleeping early,
i'm functioning on 10 hours of sleep,
i cut down my computer usage,
i'm no longer used to starring at screens for a long time,
i cut down gaming, i found lesser joy in it, my war cries soften in the taverns, & i'm losing touch.
it'd forgotten my totem, my summoning orb,
guess it's time to wake up.

but i'm still pushing several things aside.

& i'm still working on it.
this video kinda daunt on me how much a person can change.
someone once told me, "you can blame your parents if you're born poor, but you can only blame yourself if you die poor"
it's right isnt it?
so, fuck everything, i'd lost my footing, and it's time to get back on track.

meanwhile...


Homeless Veteran Time lapse Transformation



Do check out elite daily for more awesome post like this

Friday, November 8, 2013

Extraordinary People - The Boy Who Lived Before

Extraordinary People - The Boy Who Lived Before




this is an extraordinary documentary and makes you think.
so what were you when you lived before?
so here's something to share with you people!

TGIF

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

h

what else do i have?
when you're all i have.

heartmelt

I'd always been a fan of masked heroes,
but what about being one for 1 day?
i'm not talking about kickass,
i'm talking about one day, waking up and see your town turned into gotham city,
and you're batman.

on the 15th of Nov, Make-a-Wish would actually be turning San Francisco into Gotham City for Miles!

"The day starts with a breaking news story. San Francisco's Police Chief asks if anyone knows the whereabouts of Batkid because he needs his help solving crime and bringing the bad guys to justice. Our little Batkid, Miles, in training with adult Batman, is ready to answer the call! Of course Batkid will be riding around the City, saving the day and performing feats of derring-do!After rescuing a damsel in distress from the cable car tracks in Nob Hill, and capturing the Riddler in the act of robbing a downtown vault, Batman will eat his lunch at the Burger Bar in San Francisco – directly above Union Square. While at Burger Bar, he will get a call on his batphone to go to the window – where he will look down and see a huge group of volunteers jumping up and down asking for Batman’s help. Why?Because the Penguin will be kidnapping a famous Gotham City mascot! The getaway car will be visible on Union Square (a convertible so that everyone can see what is happening), and the chase will be on!After catching the Penguin, Batman will make his final stop at City Hall, where the Mayor and the Police Chief of Gotham City will thank him and give him the key to the city. We plan on having hundreds of volunteers and donors collected to cheer and thank our Batman!"

from gizmodo.com

what's happening inside me is beyond description,
and maybe the closest i could get is, "warm and fuzzy" :3

It's just so sad that this little child is currently fighting against leukemia at such young age.
not doing any comparing, but life starts when we roll the dice.
it's so saddening to see such a cheery looking kid having to been through all this since young,
and i'm praying that things will turn out better for him as time goes.
Yet what make-a-wish is doing made me felt so warm and fuzzy on what people can do to contribute to the society.
even at least a little.

that made me question myself, on what else can i do, for the society.
at least alittle.
YOLO right? it'd always been on my to do list and i'm sure this is quite a clear wake up call on what i can do to help one day.
maybe helping up at old folks home?
or food delivery for the needy?
i'm not superman, but i guess it all comes from the heart.
& i'm really glad how foundations like these make the world a better place to live in.

god, it's sooooo cute in that batman costume (:
but i know Miles would alway be a true hero!
we all know that!


Click the link before for more info!

Miles' Wish To Be a superhero | News | News & Events | Make-A-Wish® Greater Bay Area



#makeawishneverfailstomeltmyheart

Monday, November 4, 2013

short.

a short weekend, i guess.
a short 3 days break, before reality struck again.
i'd been at it for 2 weeks,
still surviving.
how our little commune survive the working life.



been watching short films lately, and here're some that i'd like to share on my blog
do check out the "short film" label for more likes of them.

Long Distance Relationship



Sincerely, The End



Choice, (adel really needs this)



Sign



Ending my short-short film post with 2 more with our local flavors.
do check out JTV(: a youtube video channel made by jack neo himself and there's a whole lot of awesome stuff there!

Note



Adversity





Friday, November 1, 2013

dream

ever wondered what could be the actual ending of inception?
yea it's an old film, i know i know.
but i came across this video that makes me rake up all memories of the film and relook my case.
and you should too (:



---

ironically, and no pun intended, definitely;
i kinda lucid dream today.
is it all that to it is?
keeping the characters alive in the dream?
i would to you know.

i'd always been a dreamer.
i love dreaming,
i love having fun in my dream,
endless boundaries,
i love how fates can be woven together in dreams,

Saturday, October 26, 2013

about time



a beautiful film,
maybe something i can relate to,
maybe the characters just touch my soul,
maybe if only i can do it too.

a solid 8,
but i guess you don't need 3 packs of tissue to watch this show
(right back at you who said need bring 3 packs of tissue before going into the cinema)

rough date thou,
maybe it's just we're going thru the rough patch.
i'm walking home, thoughts fluttering,
what if i can time travel? and to find the right one, i would actually time travel back, and get together with each and everyone of the girl to see if i got it right?
"nah... fuck that"
i won't.

i would actually go back to the days before i met you and make things right.
maybe i can meet you earlier,
spare you from the pain,
maybe i can know you earlier,
to protect you from everything that comes,
and i swear, i would make things right, silently.

Friday, October 25, 2013

fragments of my week.

"almost been a month since i last posted here when i thought i ought to do something.
and yes,
finally the great Ronnie is now working.
nothing fantastic, just basic telemarketing, "

"life haven been kind, i guess.
still on the journey to find out what i want.
i succumbed, i savage, yet nothing comes close."

"been exercising,
went trekking one a day or 2 with Richard and i daresay, i overcome the challenge,
running became a routine,
and work comes in.
things seem to be falling in place, yet in the most stereotypical ways.
a basic work, robotic routine that brings u to and fro
been strumming alot more, watching movies, reading,"

"flipping around in bed,
tossing my fat body, struggling to oblivion.
my mind is clearly awake,
yet fatigue draws in."

"Jinx just join the league,
but we haven met thou,
guess 7.8k ip is abit too much for now.

if you're on PC, do give the latest scribblenaut a shot,
it's really fantastic."

"oh yep, and my date on cloudy with a chance of meatballs 2.
didn't see any meat balls, but definitely am in love with the marshmallows.
strawberries are still scary thou.
a solid 7 i guess.
still behind wreck it thou."

"nights when i'm wondering,
hoping for a cold beer out at some highrise building, looking down, celebrating my life, quietly.
tranquil nights, and i'm out searching for answers.
the world, is nevertheless cruel,
and we're all animals.
the hierarchy, the weak gets preyed on,
the rules are clear enough, yet we have no choice but to be subdue by the rules of the jungle."

"we're watching like crazy,
a solid movie, a solid 8.5
and i cried.
so badly,
how it feels like to be in love, yet you're so numb that you can't taste happiness anymore.
starstruck, call me a sucker for romance..."

"pokefans,
get ready to revive your memories with pokemon origin,
an anime series released to gear fans up for the lastest installation.
spoiler: brutality of squirtle chewing on charmander
what're you waiting for?
lets catch'em all"

"& YES! pokemon xy is finally out! you guys shld definitely join the local community and start playing together,
cant wait to get my hands on my 3ds and start playing >_<"

'nights like this again,
when i'm putting up music,
goosebumps rising,
days when i'm feeling extra sensitive, to everything.
every thoughts that electrify,
my heart melt under the moon"

"days when i read my writings,
and asked myself if i'm doing it right"

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

stay strong.



說好卻沒一起到的地方
只剩下模糊的想像
總說日子還很長
還記得當時你嚮往的模樣

過去像是破舊的遊樂場
零碎的歡樂最難忘
畫面一直在回放
當初我們是如此愛著對方

你聊起你的流浪
很客氣地分享
你有沒有看穿我還是一樣
淡然應付窘狀 為何還是好難
而你已比從前寬廣
我說著我的近況
儘是無關痛癢
工作依然頻繁我還是一樣
偶爾也會孤單 無數失眠的夜晚
想念你的舊創 也一樣

記憶深處殘存了些盼望
時不時在我腦海蕩
你留給我的影響
多年以後還在我身上頑強

你眉宇還是飛揚 笑聲還是爽朗
愛情走了多遠我難以想像
回不去的時光 落下往日的夕陽
我還有什麼能 不一樣



  • 如果听实话 只会感伤
  • 宁愿将你的谎话 当作善良
  • 反正结局是这样 晓得细节又怎样
  • 想好聚好散 完美伪装
  • 可是被你的拥抱 击溃眼眶
  • 不愿成全 不想原谅 但自尊太好强
  • 最怕旧情人 想怜悯 的眼光
  • 爱的太逞强 无论多眷恋也不乞求不勉强
  • 不爱我的我不想 讲的洒脱却感伤
  • 总是爱的太逞强
  • 怎么你竟让我不能忘 不能放
  • 痛 还想
  • 戴上了墨镜 隔绝目光
  • 然后戴上了耳机 紧贴悲伤
  • 到人群里去流浪 也不一个人在家
  • 越苦的情歌 越要敢唱
  • 回忆最满的地方 坐一晚上
  • 不要埋藏 才能释放 虽然痛会很长
  • 爱不会留下 太容易 疗的伤
  • 爱的太逞强 无论多眷恋也不乞求不勉强
  • 不爱我的我不想 讲的洒脱却感伤
  • 总是爱的太逞强
  • 怎么你竟让我不能忘 不能放
  • 痛 还想
  • Sunday, September 29, 2013

    confessions of a warwrick

    We're drinking by the tavern,
    a yet again victory with my fellow mates

    "My grizzly fur that brushes against the wind,
    when i'm chasing down in the league,
    fearless, as they claim.
    but stupidity bought me nothing but shame.

    The cursed concoction conjured by my brother,
    only made me look unlike no other,
    that missing ingredient that i seek,
    the heart of a celestial being completes the trick

    Trekking down from shadow isles,
    the silver i'd gotten with the help of elves,
    trapping down the dire wolf,
    from which it fangs that i cut loose,
    left the hearts of the celestial beings
    my eyes was almost beaming

    chasing down the child of the stars
    in it's heart i would put it in my silver jar
    silenced by the child and drove away,
    fuming with anger and exhilarating dismay

    i clenched my fist and demanded the potion,
    The Chemist looked and me and then to his unfinished concoction,
    moving towards him, i'd unleash my beast from within,
    grabbing the potion and taking it all in
    i felt the immerse heat & fell onto the floor
    i know i wasn't human anymore...

    Back on my feet, after my baneful treat
    I looked at the petrified chemist, sighed and retreat
    As guilty i know he is, it's rage who consumed me
    Silenced, just like a fleeting dream

    Ready to take down anyone who stands between me,
    i even took down the innocent manatee
    Trekking down the heart of the beast, 
    There, i sharpens my claws and prepare for the feast..."

    Another round please ask the Blood Hunter,
    clinging beer and lowering into a whisper, 
    i heard, there's another celestial being in runeterra, isn't it?
    amongst the table he ask.
    Yes said the Spirit Walker, and all hushed within

    "Ao Shin.."



    Thursday, September 26, 2013

    the support

    i looked lazily at my watch while my other hand stirred the summoning orb in my pocket.
    C & I walked out of the summoner's room and slumped right onto the couch in the lobby.
    It was the wee hours in the morning, and the institute of war is still alive, maybe alittle less.

    there're stories of people who lost their souls in the league,
    people who go into endless game, trying to seek power from the cup,
    my heated hands from all the summoning,

    "10 over games today, what have we done?'

    ---

    i walked out to the river,
    no longer were the sound of the hooves makes my blood gush anymore.
    the hooved entity that ride with me, trampling everyone else.

    there wasn't any hesitation when i bought her with my influence point.
    the familiar beep when you unlocked a right to use the champion.
    i bought her right into the big games,
    tidal waves that scorn foes,
    little did i know my league story would have this little twist.

    a support,
    vision, protect, engage,
    map dominance is my thing as i protect the objectives.
    a tedious job, i would say.
    i never see this coming.

    i made many new friends
    the little girl who plays with butterflies,
    and the chain warden who's obsessed with souls

    ---

    i'm at the river when i looked her in the eyes.
    her half body surfacing at the water shines as the moonlight fell into her.

    her story isn't at all complete, just as mine.
    searching for the moonstone, she is very much stuck in the league, while waiting for answers.
    maybe that's how our fate entwined.

    "good night" she whispered,
    moving closer to me i felt her ice cold lips touched my forehead
    and she moved back and smiled..
    i felt myself floating into oblivion as a bubble materialized,

    i floated & i watched one last time as the scaly figure flipped,
    dive head into the calm waters.
    as her tail submerged, i fall onto the ground as the bubble popped.

    we'll meet again.

    Thursday, September 19, 2013

    Peopl3: worker bees

    The worker bees in our little commune,
    Everyone is just a slave for one another.
    It all goes in a circle. And yet, all still bows down to the grim reaper.
    when they would be sleeping 5ft under.

    Volume 3: Worker Bees


    A plump size lady, earphones plugged in, oblivious to the outside world as she squeeze herself into the bus every morning.
    Ignoring the scorns and leers of the other people, she shove her enormous self up into the bus, whilst eyes glued into her minature tv holding by her giant hands.
    There she go, numbing herself for months. She know she wasn't born pretty and she'd already learn to numb herself in many ways since young,
    no thaunts and leers could get through her ears while she lived in her happy world.
    Commiting herself to this daily routine, working in the backlines, oblivious to politics, she likes things in order, in control.
    Simplicity, Single, Happy.

    ---

    His sling bag slides lazily as he walks, newspaper held between his armpits, fingers pressing violently on the buttons of the controls as he's trying to beat his new highscore.
    Who would have known his existence? He quietly sneak into a seat on the bus and just played on.
    Not a social butterfly since young, he always envy those who stands out.
    But never did, not when his brighter sister is in the spotlight amongst his family.

    ---

    Hair combed back, suave, he could pass off as a model. His eyes could charmed you and guys swarm to him listening to his "bed"-time stories. He had a scandal with almost any other female in the office and the female boss loves him.
    Charming eyes, narcissistic smiles, he spends most of his time in social media than work, yet it's his face that gives him credit for. His ill gotten promotion started tongues wagging behind his back, so is his crazy party life. Girls threw themselves onto him, and he threw them off after using them. After a crazy day at work, there he was, only with his solitude in his elevator on his way home.

    ---

    He woke up on the dot everyday, preparing himself, making sure he didn't miss out anything before he hastily left the house. Why is he always late even when he set the alarm up early?
    A typical JC-uni graduate, he spent most of his lives facing books, rather than talking to people.
    The marks wars taught him how to go solo, and little did he realize, that socializing is just as important as studying. He would missed out every one meeting from his old friends, and confine himself in the comforts of his room, mugging aggressively, as if building stockpile for the war.
    And yet as prepare he was, he was unprepared during the many interviews.
    It was only one company that took him in, offering a measly 1.7k for his degree, yet he have no choice but to take it anyway. Yet he was given tons of work, and ad hoc errands.
    It's always so difficult to please his boss.
    Didn't father and mother say all will be well if we get good grades?
    Why school didn't teach us how to please the boss?

    ---

    Shaking her legs on a high stool whilst watching her favourite movie on funshion, you could definitely felt her annoyance in her "WHAT?" when u asked her a question. Sitting by the push cart, watching shows just so time can pass faster. With just an o level cert and an abortion experience under her belt, there's nothing much less she can do besides posting cleavage photos in her instagram. Her tribal rose tattoo engraved behind her back after her first serious boyfriend left her gave her nothing but pain. Moving on, the guys she met are all jerks, and yet she fall for the same trick, again and again, until her recent abortion.
    Yet she seek comfort from the rose, strong, sturdy, protecting itself from outsiders with her little thorns.
    Who would know of her stories?

    ---

    "Bye!" He wave goodbye to his fellow cliques before departing. He just can't wait to get home to catch the latest episode of one piece. Opening his manga app the moment he's alone, he continue from where he'd left off in his manga. Working in the IT sector, he was cut off from feminine contact right after his poly days, much less in Army which comes right after that. After nicking 5 years off and working in the it sector, he faces the least human contact and only interacts with gadgets and such. His little tech buddies are much less the same and it's always talks about anime, games or the upcoming geek movies that's going to be up.

    Back into his room after work, with his babe posters staring back at him, he heaved a sigh, not knowing how else to get out of his life.

    ---

    She woke up every morning, before lazing in bed with alittle snooze boost before dragging herself out of bed. Work yet again. The women in the mirror gave her strength, when she looked at herself, dolling up, carefully planting her make up. She could easily sneak into the bunches of typical OLs, yet not one knows how hard she work everyday. Entertaining clients, entertaining bosses, putting bread on the table. It's alittle too young to be talking about money, but as the eldest of the lot, she chose to give up her uni dreams so as to gel the household.

    Alone, she felt. Distant, from her boyfriend. The long relationship falter as they were worlds apart. Plunging into self sabotage, he is as just as helpless as she herself is. Like they're between a glass wall. Yet, their hands connect in between the panels, smiling to each other.

    "i love you.." he whispered,
    "& i always will" he said, as tears stream down his face.

    her other hand clenched tightly, hating how destiny have woven.. yet, unregretful for the beautiful love.

    ---

    the baby's cries sounded like a siren amongst the house. She woke up with a jolt, not even glacing at the clock which shows 4am before tending to the baby. It was before she know it, when her actual 5.30 alarm sounded. Her husband still sleeping soundly opened his eyes lazily before dragging his feet up. As if on auto pilot after the usual morning greetings, the couple shuffled their feet, as if in sync, with each tending to their own business, not even crossing the each other's path. This smooth transition brings them back to the dining table when they have their dinner the night before. A simple french toast with eggs, he held the bread while position himself to face the TV, when it beamed to live, showing channel news asia.

    ***

    the door bell rings-

    "here comes the baby sitter" he said as she did his tie and he tided up her clothes, & clipped her hair. They looked at each other deep in the eyes when the knocking broke off their eye contact.
    It's time to wake up.

    ---

    He closed his eyes in annoyance when he heard that familiar beep just as he drove pass the ERP. It seems like the ERP would never miss him out. He clenched tightly onto his steering wheels in frustration as he was reminded to top up his cash card by the card reader.
    "top up again, how dare they?" yet he can do nothing about it.
    Helpless, bounded by the income ceiling, he could no longer get out of the middle class household.
    His heavy bank loan in his 4-room flat took a huge toll on him and he could not think of any practical idea than to work his ass off.

    He opened his letter box, and cursed again as he draw out the usual telco bills.

    The kids turned up their head to the familiar faces when they head the metal door cranked open.
    Running up to her father, she exclaimed "Papa wo jin tian de ting xie na yi bai fen! ni jiang yao mai wan ju gei wo de!"

    "oh, fuck me."

    ---

    Wednesday, September 18, 2013

    help


    it'd been ages since i'd been here and there're tons of things that i would actually like to share with everyone here,
    Such as the impressive upcoming GTA 5 that have been hitting the roof,
    the end of season 3 rewards in the league of legends,

    and afew others which might have slipped off my mind.

    I badly need to get out,
    some fresh air,
    anything,
    people watching again..

    Friday, September 6, 2013

    aftershock

    i badly have to write now.
    and i'm certainly,
    almost certain that i'm not in the right state of my mind now.

    dazed?
    stoned?
    which is a better word?

    i couldn't tap into my brain to make a choice.
    maybe because i'd never made any life changing decision,
    or maybe i'm just being indecisive.
    i dont know where to go anymore

    the fear we all had,
    where no amount of courage could overcome the feeling of the unknown.
    it'll engulf us.
    all in one piece.
    i'm prepare to dive,

    i know things can never be the same again.

    Wednesday, September 4, 2013

    Ambition

    I'm wide awake.
    Must be the kopi.
    What comes came so suddenly that it took me off my feet.
    But yesterday, I smiled to myself as I was walking down. A wide grin, the widest grin yet.
    It was uncontrollable you know.
    Always when I said, I couldn't feel the kick yet.
    I'm not that kind who bully xin jiao with senority if you know :3
    Anyways this tradition is just like some harmless school hazing.
    It came so fast that made me felt lost actually. Where I would actually want to go.
    Funny when you said it. Its like you know what you don't want however you dont know what you want.
    Elimination method doesn't work, because there're still chunks of 'dont knows' you have to filter through.
    My brain started pulling itself together. And my engine started running. Gears locking together spinning away the dust that settled in. A job, I need a job. An ambition perharps. No doubt, a goal.
    I remembered once when I'm young, when we all have to stand up to tell our class about our ambition. Everyone had theirs; astronaut, teacher, policeman, chef, fireman. But when it was my turn to call, i stood up, taking only a deep breathe when I look deep into my teacher's eyes and asked, "what's the top paying job in the world? Then that'll be my job"
    "A lawyer.." she replied. My class awed by the conversation that had transpire then.
    "Then I will be a lawyer"
    "You sure?"
    "Yes!"
    "You have to wear some ugly maggie mee wig on ur head"
    "I don't mind as long as I'm rich"
    "Then a lawyer you shall be"



    =this post was written 2 days ago=
    =i was interrupted by an event that crumbles the skies upon me before i know it=




    Sunday, September 1, 2013

    helpless

    helpess.

    i just want this week to pass.
    without any worries,
    without any hiccups,
    i just want to be free...
    again.

    i badly want this to come,
    &i wont look back.

    Wednesday, August 28, 2013

    play ; therapy

    My last psychotherapy.

    It's beautiful.

    It touched my heart.

    it touched me so bad that i want to remember all of it.

    this moment whereby i play back my life, and play it on the paper right in front of me.

    the most beautiful 5 stage of my life.

    i can never forget,

    how such tiny toys can reply the scenes of my life, bringing the miniature right onto me.

    how i changed, from a colorless boy, to someone who found his first best friend,

    how i learn how to cherish friendship, and found a buddy that been with me throughout my lifetime,

    how i changed, to some noisy bickering rowdy bastard.

    how i toned down, and run blindly after the girl of my dreams.

    how i gave her all my firsts, without regret, despite all the hurts and heartbreak, and how i'm willing to go thru it all over again just that it's worth it and it attributes to who i am.

    how i found that guy gangs are not that bad after all, recruiting the brotherhood. no matter how different we are, but we stand united, together against all odds.

    and slowly, the phase of life when i met friends who're worth of a keeper, friends worth connecting for, going that extra miles for, and friends that i'll look after and keep them with me.

    it all ended with a beautiful painting that i'd conjured with my memories,
    the different phases of life and how much i'd changed.
    i'm grateful, for what bestowed upon me. i always learnt how to appreciate.

    admiring the finest painting,
    i took a snap shot in my mind and keep it deep in my heart.













    of course, not forgetting the current hiccups that i'd been getting.
    i want to be free.
    i want to be set, free..

    Friday, August 16, 2013

    need to get moving

    hb

    when i said i miss you,
    i really do.
    when i said i love you,
    i really do..

    Wednesday, August 14, 2013

    sluts and the falcon

     "We don't get to choose where we came from, but we can choose where we go."




    the perks of being a wallflower,
    a beautiful film, and finally it bloomed.







    a very soothing character movie,
    how it all developed, 
    how deep it is.
    and how the story slowly gets tied to you
    misfits, 
    homosexuality, 
    drugs,
    psychos,
    & the tunnel song






    "We are infinite".

    Payday 2

    why payday?
    because everybody needs a payday.

    yes, the long awaited payday 2 is out,
    and to top it off a set of webisobe is release to keep us in the mood.
    4 episodes currently,









    enjoy,

    Let the heist begin

    here

    where are you going?
    i'm right here baby,
    arms outstretched awaiting for your coming.
    what's with the tears?
    why the smudged mascara my lady
    for i'm here,
    to drive away all your fears.

    we'll be happy,
    i promise,
    we'll be happy,
    so will be our little tortoise,
    in our little patio with the fishes,
    where we sat there and reminisce

    we'll be happy,
    won't we?

    Tuesday, August 13, 2013

    conjuring

    Based on a true story.

    The conjuring;


    things aside, movie was a fantastic 4star and it must be watched :D
    did some reading on the truth of the true story:




    Monday, August 12, 2013

    Wisdom teeth I (R)

    I thought I would better document this down. Alittle hilarious, more of a dark comedy if you were to put it.

    As a boy with many fears, my fears come from when I'm young, the fear of dying if you miscue the fireman's pole in the playground, fear of height, water, and the list goes for a long time and I'm pretty sure it'd bored you out.

    Long story short, within our national service, there's a loophole for this mini rite of passage that most guys would go thru before they ORD; the wisdom teeth extraction.

    Yes, if we must do it, and it's free, most people does it as this is the period when wisdom teeth are formed. I experienced slight pain in chewing and little did I know I had 4 wisdom teeth that had to be plucked, and being a guy with a list of fears, I chose to go with GA, the once that would knock u out and before you know it, tadah!

    In a series of events, I ended up having to do LA @ ttsh.

    I always thought that ttsh is very far, inaccessible and all, but little did I know, it's just a stone throw away from the nearest mrt station (novena). And there's even an underpass that brings you right to the door step.

    I ended up climbing the stairs as the lift are always full, after a 15minutes wait, I decided to bail and took the stairs instead. Situated at the 6th storey, I was a good 40 minutes early and I went on with the usual administrative procedure, the registration and so forth. Time flies when in fear and before I know it, I was called in and did my blood pressure check before heading into the theatre. And the mi see laugh at lim peh when I say I'm scared :(

    I know how u guys like to tell patient everything's gonna be alright but.. :( the pain begin when there's several injections are done to the gum, I tried my best to sleep with my mouth opened, but I failed. I ended up pinching my hands to distract me from then pain.

    "Na ma eh chee bye, pain till I thought the operation is over alrdy"

    But everything had just began..

    I was blindfolded, covered up with several cloth and I can feel the apparatus laid neatly onto my chest and my 1 peck belly. A few jabs was even when I decided to ask my doctor how do u know whether can I feel the pain.

    Oh wells, and there wasn't much pain. Drilling and pulling begins and I could feel the pressure being applied into my gums and teeth.

    "Quick! Keep think of something"

    "I imagined a switch room when I off the nervous system,"

    "I swear I sang nursery rhythms in my heart when it took place. Teletubbies, barney.. When it drown in the loud drilling sound of the machine."

    "I tried blocking off the noise, talking to myself while trying to keep my mouth open"

    "I imagined I doing what I like"

    "I shouted ord lo"

    "I imagine me swimming in bank notes in my luxurious bath tub"

    "Me sipping beer while enjoying the view in my future home"

    "Back to singing teletubbies song"

    "Sang alittle of land before time when I cursed myself for forgetting the lyrics"

    I was also swinging my legs, lifting them up every now and then. Wildly I guess o_o pcb machiam filming exorcism.

    And with a final pull, my teeth was out.
    Could totally feel the stitching and the strings when they pull and maneuver it swiftly across my mouth.

    And fuck, the top teeth. One more to go wtf?

    but it came out before I could finish singing the teletubbies song.

    And comes the stitching. Asked for a facemask since I'll be public transporting back. Waiting for my medication now, hope all goes well...

    Saturday, August 10, 2013

    Micheal & Sally

    We all know what period is it now,
    the chinese would know,
    the people in Singapore should know,
    and my brother still jio me to watch horror during this period of time.
    but i daresay that since it wasn't advise to be out of the house, staying in and watching movies is quite a good idea.
    we had a marathon of alot of movies this days and i would like to share with you guys!

    *ratings are base on 5 stars

    The Exorcism of Emily Rose [***]



    True Story, well 3 stars for the non fiction factor, however it's quite dragging and boring.


    Coming Soon [****]



    It's not that bad, quite a scare. And i manage to find the full movie online with english subs! Enjoy~



    Evil Dead [****]



    Considered one of the good movies at that time when it was out, R21, it's worth a watch. This remake certainly is a good one. They'd got blood, gore, and the plot is well space as you got to see how each die before moving on, of course in a gloreeeey way.


    Yes I can see Dead People [**]



    This Dark Humor is not going anyway if not for the little comedy skit at the start and the chio bu. This plot is just... errr.. But i guess the sound effects and music are (Y). Classic Hong Kong Movie Style.


    Vulgaria [***]



    I don't know how we ended up watching this, the sexual scenes are ironically on the downside but i daresay the dialogues are good, and we would say no to Dada Chen's nipples?



    Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines [****.5]



    The Classic franchise is back, this dark comedy horror have so much drama that keeps you clenching on the edge of this seat. Forget everything else, this can provoke laughter and screams. And for those who know, the 3 indestructible brothers are so classic that ironically they're the main leads of the show. Babes and Gore, perfect for geeks and guys alike~ No spoiler, but who will survive this? Now who's up for some popcorn?

    18 Floors Underground/Lift to Hell [?]




    We didn't complete it, but we would probably rate it 1.5 since we manage to survive 30 mins from that movie. CG effects certainly isn't anyway close to awesome and... lack of X factor. Wanna judge? here's the full movie below.


    电梯惊魂 18 Floors Underground/Lift to Hell (English Subs)


    Friday, August 9, 2013

    Ethos Books

    Ethos Books is the one to go if you're thinking of supporting the local art scene with nowhere to start/go.
    As someone who love the local arts scene, reels and reads are definitely my thing,
    however this is one of such that i would like to share with people as i'm immersing into the vanishing point by felix cheong. Yep, i borrowed it from the library.

    I was in, ever since Gone Case, it was always a fabulous read, keeping me in, a different type of reading i would say, given our rich culture which definitely is one of the factors that gives off a different feeling.
    Just a sort section to share (:

    NDP 2013

    National Day Parade.

    Maybe i'm not as patriotic as many,
    but i guess i still am in my own ways,
    like how i appreciate the local art scene,
    how i love the cityscape of Singapore, admiring it in all ways,
    the beautifully crafted business district,
    the long stretch of Singapore River which i use to drown all my troubles all these years.
    i can never be more thankful of this place even thou i know there's alot of comparison talks on migrating and all.

    I went back home, and i'm always amused at how my hdb heartlander family are doing the stereo typicals,
    home cook meals, watching NDP.
    I remember when i'm young, always admiring the members of parliament when they arrived. I would nevertheless be awed by the marching contingent. I would run around and then does some marching, shouting before standing still and kissing my plastic ninja sword. I would then tie an used string to my national flag and hoist it up as the national anthem played on tv.

    missed the patriotic and innocent me :3

    Monday, August 5, 2013

    Tracks

    Looking at the tracks,
    Looking down at my legs, which used to fly with the night breeze.
    Ages since I hit it.
    Since my schedule have been freeze
    Stress took me over, and how badly it stacks.
    Then comes my defeat.

    But I will be reborn.

    5678

    Yes, blogging about it alot just when my anxiety disorder got better of me.
    It's that bad,
    i lost appetite,
    everything's just haunting me that i'm so afraid.
    the fear of being consumed,
    days i just stood blank, doing nothing, hoping time would stood still just alittle more.
    i can't sleep,
    i'm wide awake even my eyes are heavy,
    my stress flood my thoughts easily and seeing them in dreams is just another common sight.
    the people,
    the things,
    the days,
    even my tranquility of twilight isn't safe as it was already.

    i know i can't keep relying on pills,
    i know it'll still be my fight at the end of the day.

    just after a long hectic day with a 5km walk, i thought everything's back.
    just when i thought i'm safe for now, yet another phone call came.
    i hope things will be alright,
    i hope things will get better,
    afterall, i'm glad how much of a value are instill in my after all this,
    i ran with pride,
    i took pride in my job
    and i held everything close to my chest (closer than i ever imagine) with due respect.
    everyone that'd crossed my life.

    i'm glad i still remain true to myself after all this time
    i'm glad i know myself more,
    knowing how i work with people, or how i work for people
    i'd seen more than i paid for, and i hope this is enough to strengthen me for the society.
    how naive, innocent, still basked with integrity and honesty.
    what comes after would be yet another fight,



    It's gonna be my final few tracks of my board game,
    just 5 more dice rolls and i'm done... well  maybe 6.
    i just want to see the light.

    Mantra of the week:  Life is never meant to be easy, keep fighting, survive it, look on the brighter side.

    Saturday, August 3, 2013

    38

    poke' saturday!
    well at least one day of good rest before i go into a hopefully a hiatus where i meditate and find inner peace.

    some pokemon conspiracy for you to think about!




    Thursday, August 1, 2013

    S

    This doesn't make sense,
    The equation doesn't match up.
    I'm praying for the sliver lining tomorrow.
    Just a little silver lining to let me know at this with a different light, to let me earn back that little bit of respect that I'd lost.

    All these years, what are we fighting for?
    There is not enemy, but why make war out of each other?

    hwjb

    Ages since I'd been here,
    And here I am today.

    "I dk man, I don't want to see shit yet. I know what to do, I know what to think, I know how to hang in there and keep fighting, I know how not to back down and let this shit screw me. I'm just angry at this system. How ironically flawed it is when just 1 person can screw ur whole life over and how it all just take with something like a piece of paper to make u feel helpless as fuck"

    "I just dk how to say, I just want to get out of this system. And be free. I know more than enough what I don't want, I know I can't work for people, I had sucking up, being a dog for someone. And that's probably why I'm close with some outcast which thinks the same. Everyone here is so shallow, so easy, they just keep their head down and hardly anyone see what I see. Surely they like sucky some cocks and get off, but I don't think it's worth for superiors who won't even lift a finger to protect u."

    "Right then just now there was an activation. I ran like mad, I felt good just because I fulfilled my part. I did a great job and I took pride in that. I know I did my part and I don't fucking have to prove it to anyone or flaunt it just so I'm recognised. I know the society isn't based like that anymore, not even when I'm already know how under appreciated I am. Everyday I keep my cool, stay sane, know people, choose my cards just so I can get out. I hate how I lost my feet then, how I just make random decisions then. I know how much I dread la when I can just sleep it off. Life hardly goes ur way. That's what I use to tell myself, but if you don't push hard enough, the door on the otherside won't open as well"

    My distorted thought bubbles, and after today, I'd lost respect for this system. Where is the care and empathy you claim? When you're scolding and pointing fingers, humiliating us behind the scene. Doesn't matter how you are portrayed. I jolly understand how this game is played. I'd played enough, I'm at the last track of the board game now, and I'm out once I'm at the end. I'm there soon, I will hang in there.

    I understand the importance in this. a twisted importance at least. But how well can others see when they're blind to this, blindly following, half heartedly when they don't stand for their rights. Democracy isn't as such anymore as the people are obliged to do as the conductor calls. This off tune symphony isn't beautiful already.
    This jaded microset of the society is just how it is.

    I'm insulted for my selflessness, but isn't this how it should all be? All of us from the same nationality coming together. How can we win the war.

    I swear I'm so stressed now.
    I'm trying to keep my cool, I badly wanted to scream, I wanted release.

    U just made me lost my respect for you. If you don't know your people, how do you lead them? By fear? How can I greet you again? All those threatening, all those pain, I felt hurt, disappointed at this is how you look at your people. Right now, there's no one I can talk to, suck it up? I don't know.

    All this shit stirring, I don't know. Why make more troubles and u sit there Ànd watch the shit flow. Isn't making finances flow more important? I'd learn my lessons in this crude world, more than enough cruel lesson. How human nature is so selfish and how my honesty and selflessness only get me more shit instead? Why aren't you not happy that I at least did the right thing to save at least 1 person? I respected you like my second father, a fatherly speaker, why you condemn my deeds. Trust, is a sacred thing now, oblivious to honing all positive traits, I'm pretty sure this is how our society is progressing right now.

    I need help,
    I need an angel,
    I need a guardian.

    It hurts.

    God, I just need a place to breathe.

    Wednesday, July 31, 2013

    Fighter

    I'll be a fighter,
    I won't back down.
    I will live,
    I will survive this,
    I will move on from here, a stronger man.
    A better me.

    Friday, July 26, 2013

    sccess

    mixed feeling.
    how should i feel right now?
    a chance to break away from the defaulter's life?

    a life full of debts,
    tied down by the bank loan,
    working everyday, slogging for your family,
    selling your car because you know the math,
    ended up tying your kids to ruffia strings, and board the bus, while praying that it wont flip.
    you'll probably ended up pulling your hair while drowning your screams in a noisy pub not knowing while your life is so fucked up.

    i dont know,
    whether am i of quality,
    whether does this orthodox fraternity would open up the gates of my life.
    am i thinking too small?
    i don't know,
    i know how much i crave to succeed,
    but nevertheless, it's all those little bits of sprinkles that i'm looking at,

    what's your next move?

    define success,
    i would probably define it by doing something i like.
    when you do not hate your job,
    when i can wake up early in the morning, make breakfast for my kids,
    bacon and eggs,
    then i would kiss my wife awake,
    drive them all to work, to school,
    beating to the music in my car while i turn back to the aisle of my home in my simple car.
    back to the comforts of my home, i turn on my laptop and get to "work" while sipping a beer.

    how much of these would come true?

    Sunday, July 21, 2013

    thousand years

    Darlin' don't be afraidI have loved you for aThousand yearsI'll love you for aThousand more...



    (Verse 1)Heart beats fastColors and promisesHow to be braveHow can I love when I'm afraidTo fallBut watching you stand aloneAll of my doubtSuddenly goes away somehow
    One step closer
    (Chorus)I have died everydaywaiting for youDarlin' don't be afraidI have loved you for aThousand yearsI'll love you for aThousand more
    (Verse 2)Time stands stillbeauty in all she isI will be braveI will not let anythingTake awayWhat's standing in front of meEvery breath,Every hour has come to this
    One step closer
    (Chorus)I have died everydayWaiting for youDarlin' don't be afraidI have loved you for aThousand yearsI'll love you for aThousand more
    And all along I believedI would find youTime has broughtYour heart to meI have loved you for aThousand yearsI'll love you for aThousand more
    One step closerOne step closer
    (Chorus)I have died everydayWaiting for youDarlin' don't be afraid,I have loved you for aThousand yearsI'll love you for aThousand more
    And all along I believedI would find youTime has broughtYour heart to meI have loved you for aThousand yearsI'll love you for aThousand more