Monday, April 29, 2013

doppelgänger

this is the one of the many places i can escape to,
i guess?
other than the beautiful RWS, i'm not that rich for such extravagant escapades that i'd to make do with this.

monday swept by,
yet another monday again,
everyday, i silently pray for a quiet day out at the sea,
where everything passes by smoothly,
quietly...
peacefully...

***

we said goodbye,
we had our fare of fun,
but in life, everyone have to serve their time.
when it's time to go,
we look back, days at the sun,
thick and thin, we went through it all,
in our little Singapore.


there u guys went,
i felt... quiet...
maybe it's all whom that matters which kept Ronnie alive in PAD.

yes, i'd got some persona issues D:
and it's pretty bad.
but i hate to admit it but i really enjoy the me in camp,
days that i just want to be a jackass.
a prick, a chee bye kia.
maybe it's all the people that's keeping him alive,
people who pushes me to just go out there, throw off that reserve shell and enjoy my time around.


we always live as one,
so what happens if one of us dies..?

-doppelganger

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Iron Man

Witty, with a little tinge of sarcasm(well not just a little tinge i guess) sprinkled with bits of humor,
i wont say it would be easy to pull this off,
to be able to be arrogant, sarcastic and yet funny at the same time.
this 48 years old is still a charmer, trust me he could literally swept you off your feet,
and i like how he shows us brute strength and muscle is not what that makes a man, man.
& how intelligence could be.. sexy.
he would be the model guy-to-be for every guy and probably the dream date for ladies out there.

5 years ago, i'd seen him floundering helplessly with the gigantic silver suit that could barely fly. It actually felt great, seeing how hard work could lead to the birth of a successful superhero franchise. How he modified and experiment with his suit to perfection. Beautifully rendered cg effects and armor that still got me psyched up at the end of the movie. I became his fan officially right after i found out that he was Sherlock Holmes. But how could i not noticed the resemblence in character when i actually said, "Sherlock reminds me of Iron Man?"
Trust me, you can never believe how back can i be at faces, throw in some make ups and i would thought you're a totally different person (just like in the days of ancient china)
He had also proven me that he's not just good at adapting characters.
Due Date would be yet another flick that i can never forget where he pairs up with Zach Galifianakis (Alan from hangover) in a hilarious, "life changing" journey. I was literally hitting the arm rest of the cinema seat throughout the movie.
After reading more about his biography, this guy is a real fighter  Seeing him fighting against the odds, the ups and downs just inspired me, surely did his hard work paid off (in real life as well)

Back to the movies, who wouldn't envy the extravagant lifestyle of Tony Stark? He's got the stash, and the brains. Cars collections, highly intelligent programmed robots, and a pretty secretary (with brains) who loves you. Not forgetting his luxurious villa by the sea and the fame cumulated from all the heroic acts. This guy is a celebrity. But that aside, the cool programming, computers, tech gadgets and lastly his marvelous suit would set most fan boys crazy. All that lumped together, and you get Tony Stark.


i'm not very sure whether would another actor could pull it off as well as this guy, 
but i'm pretty sure i'd set him as my favorite superhero of all times.

Yes, and he is

IRON MAN


was literally on the edge of my seat when i first saw this trailer, i can't wait
i cant wait any further right after the appetizer block buster avengers :D
but who could say no when all superheroes round up together with the cute-not-so-little-green hulk?


Red is my favourite color and i could never expect it to lead to my love to Iron Man
trailer's inserted below



Catch Marvel’s Iron Man 3 in cinemas April 26! 
been waiting for this day right after iron man 2. >_<
P.S. Suit > Packs

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Bull Crab

"Long zhong brothers! Huat ah"
We exclaimed as we raised our glass of beer when the clock strike 12.

After afew more clings and clangs of glass collisions and spewing out random phrases filled with getting chio bus, rich and vulgarities, we sipped our beers as the music droned on.

It was a good night,
I was high (not due to alcoholic influences of course, my drinking days are long gone)
What else could beat a night with 2 of my closest brothers. One that I spend half of my life with, another one whom I was literally born together and grew up with. And coincidentally those two fuckers shared the same birthday(:
My life is surrounded by tauruses not forgetting 2 more taurus bros from camp.

It was yet another goodnight before I found myself flipping on bed, under the comforts of my blanket. This feeling of emptiness... Again.
What now? it wasn't like that a few days back, I was driven, very driven, I ran, I sprint as if I'm out of time, I live, as if it's the last day of my life.

Now.. I just felt like a deflated tyre D:

Chanting my mantra of the week, as I bought it off to slumber..

Monday, April 22, 2013

Mondaze ii

Clockwork,
Back to routine again.
Nothing beats evading monday blues with an off day. Not entirely productive, but I tried.
Tuesday come in a flash, as my 6 hours of sleep feels like a blink of an eye. - did my usual stuff, not forgetting starring at the mirror, rubbing my hand with my hand, hoping it would my make haircut better D:
***
This strange feeling, since a few days back. I don't know why, it feels like something that I couldn't contain. Or maybe something I could ever contain.

A sudden realization about importance of time, about the short amount of time we have. Yes, I badly wanted to do something. I was multi tasking like crazy, reading a lot of random articles here and there, any information I can take in and shark on. Well, almost everything, just here and there. Not gonna jinx anything else, oh wells. Just want to be constantly productive.

Planned out my week as usual, and I might not been even to squeeze a run into my schedule. Birthday of my 2 lifetime brothers, and my anniversary.
PLANS FOR THE WEEK
MON: off, meet adel
TUE: birthday dinner w/ clement
WED: ktv!
THURS: dinner w/ army bros
FRI: anniversary
***
Down I go, down the grassy slope..
With the increasing number of construction site around my area, the difficulty of getting into 961 went to an all new high as well. A lot more foreign talent took up space in the bus, I'm talking like 3 full bus in a row and I'll have to be like fucking fighting to get up.
It's a fucking chore to even get up the bus.
"Midweek comes tomorrow"
***
Mantra of the week: "peace is bliss"

.
..
...
....
.....
I'm quiet today. Unexpectedly quiet. My mind was filled with never ending questions. Throw in some mood music. The excitement from yesterday.. Will something comes out of it? I'll really try not letting any ounce of my negativity diminish my opportunity, my motivation. I sat by, quietly scribbling on the papers.
Why is it such that, one moment u seem to realize what you wanted, but only to found that thoughts disappearing all of a sudden later.
















music.

while randomly playing my guitar. i realize one thing about myself.

earlier today, as i am reading life hacks,
i came across afew music streaming sites,
and what caught my eyes are;

1) SongDrop
2) Whyd

"Whyd is another service we love because it fills two roles: it helps you organize all of the music you stumble on from around the web and keep it organized, and then it lets you build playlists and listen to that music anytime you want. It helps that Whyd is a social service, and there are plenty of other people there to listen to who have music just as good as the music you've added yourself.
If you wanted to use Whyd as just a way to organize YouTube videos, Vimeo videos, and SoundCloud tracks, that would be enough, but once you start exploring the music others are adding, it's a whole new world. Whyd is invite only, but this Lifehacker link, courtesy of the team behind Whyd, will get you behind the curtain. If you like what you see but want an alternative, SongDrop is a similar service we've mentioned"


it was then, i realize that's how i'd been listening songs. Constantly, i'd been searching for new songs, foraging here and there, trying out fancy album art, a wide diverse of genre. I can never seem to satisfy my music taste bud, this insane hunger for new music always kicks in when i realize i would chose silence over songs, or when i was scrolling pass my insane 90 gb (not forgetting i reformat my com twice without back up and have to rebuild my library) itunes library and never seem to find a song that fit.
Of course, there're quite a handful of songs that i hold dear to me, the songs that illustrates my life, songs that i can relate too, and a few others that i would love to hear every now and then. But i'm still constantly seeking something new. So this is what they call a music lover?


Still trying to pull out my hair since i couldnt decided what to settle for, Whyd or SongDrop? SongDrop looks sleek, cute icon, beautiful interface, i love how the disc image spins like vinyl when u play them, but i dont want to mark whyd off like that. 

So any like minded soul? or am i the only one hear who caught this weird virus :(

i'll end off with something i'd found from SongDrop, my latest catch.
beautiful, too beautiful.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

a short film,
for the rain.

rain

rain rain,
how the rain change the lives of others.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

My Sea



i'm not a kpopper.
at least, not anymore since i have a diverse music taste.
but nevertheless, i like how your songs never fail to touch my soul.

all of it,
it is totally what i could relate to.
the golden lyrics,
my heart beats,
healing in solitary.

JiYeon, you'd done it again.
My Sea, is yet another beautiful piece that will sing me to sleep.


Lyrics:


ROM
Huuu yeah yeah
Hu hu~~ Hoo hoo yeah

Sukiyoo utsushita hirui aoyomi
Sooshite dareomaate hiruno
Kittemo shizuka mita takimiwa
Kitowano hoshio miteherunda yone

(If I was) Yasashiku dakishimete kurarukedo
(Kokorowa) Koko ni hinai yone

Tonnani nekaga atte
Ichiban shitakuni hiruko to wade kitsuni
Konnani tomo tettemo
tototsatsuni dorae kiteyenu kuno

Kireina kaekara hatsumetewa
Sunaoto kikuyohoni taisetsuni
Kakaete tamawatamama kimiwa
Ano hitono koto wo kiittetano kana

(If you love me)Kanashini kana karete yukku made
(Tonarite)Yori sotte ageruyo

Tonnani nuzundatte
Watashi wa watashi kawarewa shinai kedo
Soretemo menomanai iru
Watashi dakeo tada aishite hoshi

Ne~ Ichi do dei
Kimi dake tayo oboki kasete
Watashi ga toyo detsuni oborete shimawana
Iyooni

Tonnani sobani ittemo
Kimiwa zutto tokuwo mite iruno
Konnani aishitettemo
mooshi kowa tashiga anarinaruyo

Kodekai kimino hitto mino yukino
Koe no se nattemo sono sute tette
Watashino kotowo tsutsurunde itteyo
Nemoreru yo honi

Ad-lib:
I love you so,
Cause you will be in my heart
I just love you
Just bring me
Bring me to your love


************************************

English Translation

The moon shone down on a vast blue green sea
Who are you waiting for?
Even if I ask you just quietly look up at a star in the sky

(If I want you ) you’ll hold my warmly but
(Your heart ) Your heart’s not in it

No matter how much I wished I couldn’t be the one closest to you
No matter what I thought I can’t reach you and just vanished in the sky

After collecting so many pretty shells I listened to the sound of the sea
You held them without saying a word, I wonder if you heard her heart beat

( If you’re lonely ), then until your loneliness falls away
( I will be close ) to your side

No matter how much I wish I’m me and I can’t change that but
I wish you could just love me as I’m here before you

Hey, Just once is fine, let me hear you say you only want me
Don’t let me sink and drown without swimming

No matter how close to your side I am you still looked far off
If I loved you this much soon I’ll be your bubble

Please, Your eyes and fingers and voice and body, your everything
I want to fall asleep wrapped up in it


I love you so, Cause you will be in my heart
I just love you, Just bring me
Bring me to your love

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

150413 Monday.

Monday again,
Yes again.. Weekend seems to pass in a flash. I let my brain dwell in the weekends for abit before jolting out of bed. Prep up, and there I go.

"Let's get this over and down with shall we?" I told myself.

Music plugged in, there I was, strolling down to the bus stop, enjoying the morning breeze with alittle blocked nose. There I saw, people of all sorts. Getting ready for monday. That haggard looking office guy, wearing a medium size sling bag, newspaper folded, clasped in between his right shoulder as he trotted down to the bus stop. I'd finally saw sometime I thought would only exist in the anime. Secondary school girl, sitting at the passenger seat of the car, bun in her mouth, while trying to do her pony tail. But of course, not as pretty.

Few cars down the line, I noticed a father and son. The dad's tapping on his steering wheel impatiently as the car moves slowly against the wave of morning traffic while the son, wearing his army uniform, hugging onto his huge brown bag looks out of thw window with a stern face.

It was after afew more cars that my bus stop came into view. I stood there, playing lazily with my trackpad as I tried to find music. God, I haven't been updating my berry at all. Guess this goes down to my to do list.

TO DO LIST

1. Run (if not shag)
2. Update blackberry
3.

All quiet monday. That's all I ask for


Mantra of the week: hey now hey now, don't dream it's over~

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

time to quell the fuck down.
away with the dilemma

ficial

so fun to watch.
superficial idiots running in circles,
thinking they'd got it all.

can't help but feel sorry for them :(

Monday, April 15, 2013

dig

confused, confused, forever confused.
threading in circles.
where should i go?
what do i seek?
always i asked.
but what remains, are nothing but more questions.

the deeper i dig,
the more questions i had, as if like they cell division.
i found nothing,
down in the depth,
i wonder.
and i never stop wondering.

Friday, April 12, 2013

oblivion

it'd been waiting.
yes, this day for ages.

after the short KTV session,
i rushed off, leaving the rest there.
got up the bus,
i smiled to myself,
"the time to meet the boys"

there i was,
hairs up, on the bus,
i'm so sorry for the 3 hours wait.
i missed dinner, but that wasn't all.
thanks for setting a midnight movie just for me.

yes, i'd been waiting.
this persona of mine have been edging to come out,
yes, this particularly weird persona of mine.
it's hard to believe when i can actually speak good english when i'm with them.
sarcasm, downright immoral, down grading girls, asshole, jerk.
and my brain function alot quicker, i daresay~
i'm like the asshole of the crew, but i like how i could chain jokes, at the very least, lightening up the atmosphere with my jokes and actions alike.
and i like how smooth i actually speaks.
darn i miss this guy.

***

catching up, and while we're discussing our future...

"so how? after ORD do what?"

"so what's your plan?"

"u say first la, just now we discuss already, now your say then we say"

" *thinks* well i'm thinking whether to work or study"

"*laughs and put his hand around me* RONNIE WO MEN ZHE BIAN ZUI DAN XING DE JIU SHI NI LIAO"

"chee bye la, not funny la, *attempts to stomps off while laughing*"
(fuck me seriously)

it's really funny when i think of it.
i would never know, our group will go this way, with frank back to indo, two of them decided to sign on,
leaving me and sam. & to think sam abandoned me and went ahead to apply already.

*ahhh sigh*
(fretting over future and stuff)

starts to share my side lines where i did during free time and they'd been like urging me forever to go to sales/business.

"u talk so fast, go sell flat la"

"u haven seen the elimination game i played on the newspaper yet. Hell No"

"sell flat, 1 month sell one, can relax liao ma"

"fuck la, i really dont know what to do"

"aiya, study first then think lor"

"probably..."

made a mental note to think of at least something in this coming week.

***

00.05, we set sail to oblivion.
crusing in oblivion.
beautiful, sceneric. it's like a grand tv expo where the glamorous scenes flare up to life at the sliver screen.
before we were awed by the twist,
we were literally sent to oblivion on our seats.
but, it ends off, with a beautiful ending.
nevertheless, a solid 3.5 for cruise.

"nabeh lah what show lai?"

"ya lor, always kana cock show de leh"

"how?"

"guys, guys, guys, i'd gave up the movie halfway through. i'm just taking short naps and opening my eyes hoping to catch some tits action. they lost me there"

"aiya waste time, just now still thinking shld sleep anot"

"sleep la, lim peh sleep sia"

"so where is the alien ah?"

"2 hours i still cannot catch any ball leh"

"nabeh, first shuttle island, now this"

"shuttle island not bad what"

"slow movie la"

"k la k la, next time we watch sure hit one la, iron man 3 this kind la, on bo?"

"on on, we plan again"


"well, it's actually a very good movie, beautiful if you think about it"
"you guys seen source code? it's something along the line of this"


"aiya nvm, watch sure hit one"

"k lah, steady"

"eh when wan go genting?"

"ya hor! we 21 liao hor!! *exclaims"

"lai liao lai liao!"

"remember how we use to gamble anot"

"ya! like dog sia, pon school watch SLEAGUE"

and the chatter goes on~

looks like we haven changed after all.
& i never regret fucking my poly life big time for this shit.
HUAT

Thursday, April 11, 2013

flyday

After the crazy ktv session yesterday,
I could barely walk back.
Dragged my feet and I let the showers take me.
After that it was all drifting...
Drifting in and out of sleep...

8.13am,
I woke up, shut off the alarm,
Too tired to even curse myself..

12.13pm
Woke up, took my berry and slumped onto my bed, idly using my phone. Sending the usual wake up messages.

12.30pm
Eyelid fluttering,
In and out I go again..

12.51pm
I tried to open my eyes, I survey my phone with half an eyelid open, and it was all dark before I know it.

01.01pm
Told A to give me a call when it's time for preparation.

02.13pm
I jolted up from my dream. Realizing I'm there too long. Too late, 3 miss call and I literally chiong to prepare.

02.23pm
Done with my showers and all. hastily grab the gatsby wax and start making my hair.

02.36pm
Walking to bus stop.

02.59pm
Seriously, 960 cannot be fucking trusted. Usually it's 2 960 before other buses come again. But I'm sitting there, 2 961 pass by, 3 170 and 2 160. And there's still no sign of 960 until about half and hour later. D:

Nvm today will be awesome.
Just felt so angry and guilty that I'm late. If not, we'll be at haji already.

***

we transpired into somewhat a different place. So surreal, feels like we're in another country. After a somewhat long walk and despite the disappointment in the sales, we pulled out

***

Think it's time to start reading in camp again. Borrowed 3 books, let see if I'll finish them all.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

pain is all i feel,
but who can hear my blood bleed?




080413

I reluctantly trotted out of my house after double checking my back pack, slamming my wooden door shut, there i left for camp, with a heavy feet.

Where have my drive gone to?
*sigh* I don't know.
I deeply wanted change,
Always I ask questions about life,
Yet deep inside, I know the first step would jolly well be stop procrastinating, yet somewhere inside me, isn't awake by any of these idealogy.

***

I start cursing myself yet again.
To top it off on my monday blues, I couldn't even get on the fucking bus because it's too crowded...

Duty today.
Days when your intuition failed you.

Mantra of the week:
I will stop judging

Friday, April 5, 2013

250313 Front

25th March, Monday

There you go...
I took a deep breathe before closing the wooden door and shutting the metal gate of my house.
A strong front before I went out to face others.

The morning winds blew pass my face as I walked slowly down the steps.
Slowly down the grassy slope.
Sprinted for the bus,
I felt like a robot.

***

U don't get the song..
Well so do I. But, that song makes me feel like it's about being strong..




***

Tiring day again.
Can't decided whether should I cut my hair anot and before I know it...

"That'll be 3.80,
Want wash hair anot?"

Think I just had my hair cut by the same person. Guess she must be cursing inside when she have to cut some nsf hair, sweaty and all after a day of work D:

And I wasn't treated gently at all as she shaves my side hastily as if an amateur peeling a skin of an apple.

300313 saturday

Listless again,
I sat down there at V again, taking occasional sips at my gigantic cup of cafe mocha while doing some casual reading on my berry.

The weather is being a total asshole today as I would choose to stay at home if not for coffee.

***

Was playing idly with the trackpad on my berry as the chatter drones on. Tired? Well I don't know. I haven been sleeping a lot lately. Insomnia? Doesn't look like it, just felt the nocturnal side of my coming back again after a while. The light of my electronics never fail to draws me over like moth to flames, slacking till odd hours in the mornings, feeling awake, functioning on low sleeping hours once again.

***

Moodless, but still I'm determine not to go back to square one. I plot my schedules, taking mental note of the 2 runs per week into consideration, the read ups that I'd been putting off. it's like I have a never ending list of 'read later'.

I'm typing away, oblivious..
This strange feelings evoked within me.
Day 5?
I'll get better..

020413

Boon or bane,
Pros and cons,
I weigh what have to be weigh and always I asked myself,
What worst could happen??
Indeed, this week is no easy feat.

Despite having 2 incoming medical reviews, rmj, heavy load, and 4 on going periodic medical appointments, my heart skipped a beat when I was pronounced "fit" by this new medical officer who deem me fit for bmt.

Still calm, I tried to argue my way through, not that I don't want to go for it, what if, I go for it and out of course again? I was actually put fit, until I was to be screened again during bmt? Given my medical condition now, not only do I not want to disappoint anyone, I don't think I can really do jackshit as I think I can only be present for field camp and that's all I can do. But what else can I do? But push my appointments closer so at least it could be a clear cut thing of whether can I pass or not.

Guess what's only troubling me ultimately at tekong is the 2 weeks confinement and hair cut. Once u'd been through hell, you don't want to go back there again man.

A tough week indeed, day 2 and everything is taking it's toll on me. Changes, plans and what not. What else could I do when I ultimately have to resign to my fate for now. Guess the least I can do is to try cushion the fall..

Just when I thought that was all..

My PC crashed on me.
Hard disk just failed to boot up the OS,
Helplessly I tried again and again, hands on the button, pushing each time my pc failed me.
And guess I can't do nothing unless a clean install. Attempting to back up overnight.
I still believe that tomorrow will be better.

030413

I stared blankly at the appointment dates on the paper as the rain pours. Confused..

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

April Fool

"Hello Sir, welcome to macdonald"

Was contemplating on what to have after a tiring day, I finally, reluctantly decided to get mac after a 10 minutes cruising around the mall, not forgetting the kopitiam that like to ka tok people.

A long and difficult day indeed as I'd test my inner self. The usual monday blues, dragging my feet across the road, down the usual grassy slope, phone in my hand as I load up a and prepare my reading materials for the day, got up the bus the minute I reach the bus stop, however little did I know, the ultimate april fool's joke have yet to come..

It was only after I got up the bus, did I noticed that my sites are not loading, as my phone's reception changed to SOS. Thinking it's a phone problem, I just did the usual restarting, taking out the battery.. And my worst fear was confirmed when I realize that the reception won't budge no matter how many times I restart.
It all ultimately came upon me when I went in the advance settings and it says 'no valid sim card detected'.
I tried to be as calm as possible, holding back until I had a chance to change sim with my friend. Alas, all was confirmed when my sim card was pronounced dead.
***

And there I go, heading to causeway wasting my precious time just for a sim card. But I'm glad that I manage not to let starhub charge me for it (:

Strolling towards the bus interchange and before I knew it, I'm sipping green tea, reading on my phone, on the way home...




Hmmm productive not as I ended up surfing the web lazily, doing some casual reading and watching drama with my left hand propping my head up, while the other playing with the cursor while I try to multi-task.

Tough week ahead.
Mantra of the week: tomorrow will be better.