逞强

Tired? Yea, i probably guessed so. I'm too tired to think about things.
It's a hell of a day today. top it off, i'm functioning my weekends with a block nose. Yes, that suck.
Probably have too much draft for my weekdays and i ended up scrapping all of them.
i dont even know if this gets out.

why?
it feels like i'd lost the girl who'd loved me so much in the morning.
why would things come this way.

 ***

"While trying to achieve purpose A, you met problem B, so do you still want to achieve purpose A, or solve problem B, if it means you might not be able to achieve purpose A?"

i hope this is not the upcoming PSLE question.
but... let just say, we will achieve purpose A while solving problem B at the same time.
but...objectively, since B is said to be a problem, i guess why no ignore problem B but go ahead and achieve purpose A all the same?


****

[BEFORE READING ANY FURTHER]

for that special someone,
please play the following video before scrolling down and reading any further.
this is not an instruction, this is an ORDER. (:






>>>>> READY?
>>>> PLAY ALREADY ANOT?
>>> U SURE AH?
>> OKOK. TRUST U
>LETS GO








****

bao.
we'd come so far.
we're been thru so much.

i'm weak,
i'm tearing.
this night,
i felt so overwhelmed by helplessness.
the slow songs of sorrows,
filled my years,
the singers, singing, conveying their sadness,
as if mourning for me.


sometimes you're so right, that i think i can never be wrong.

my mind is cluttered with strings of sentences that i could never form a passage with.

i dont want to lose you.
but if destiny calls,
i still dont want to lose you.
someone in life where i can truly be myself
someone whom we could be laughing about the good old times when we're together.
the foolish things we'd done.
the childish dance.
i dont know.
but i would want to be there,
feel happy, for you if one day, you're walking down the aisle,
but i'm not on the other side.
not towards me,
but maybe towards a guy that you deserve.
guess he also deserve my fist to his face... if he treats you bad.
but i would really like to beat him up.
but i'll be happy,
if you are. in that white beautiful gown. even when you're not mine.
but of course i will cry blood.
and my heart will be streaming tears all over my body and i would also be literally peeing blood tears and pee itself. and eventually my eyes would cry a mixture of blood and tears as well.
i will hold your hand, one last time,
nothing else, but a hand shake, with my tear soak hand.
the hand that use to wipe your tears..

okay, humour aside...


the 3 types of people in your life that you would meet in your life.
1. People you keep
2. People you remember
3. People you only say hi and bye to

you would never fall into the third catergory.
of course, there's an invisible fourth category,
people who u doesnt even remember when you walk pass him at orchard road.
but ah, u can't even remember, so not counted right?
but then again, you will never go pass 2.
at the very least.

my mind plays back the years we'd been through,
a weak smile, at how everyday can be so "happening" sometimes.
there's always something new.
i hope we can solve it,
overcome anything that get into our way.
so many years and we never fall short on obstacles.
sometimes, the quarrels we have, u can see me laughing thru the phone, even though we're scolding,
sometimes, we just lost the reason to.
sometimes, it just comes to a point, whereby we both dont know what are we quarreling for.
sometimes... we just might have to take a step back and accept our differences.
good days, bad days,
i really want to thank you for the great time we had.
maybe somehow, we lost it.
the bread crumbs.
the candy house.
you will forever be important to me.
and you will forever have a place in my heart.
a place in my heart where it belong to you, you and only you..
a room where no one could see,
where no one can enter.
i love you.
this i can promise you..
because..
i can never promise how good our lives would be
i can never promise you how awesome our kid would be
i can never promise you how rich i would get
i can never promise you i would get a 6 pac soon (fuck my life)

but..
i can promise you, i will work hard, for everything that is ahead of us.




the feelings you evoke.
i could never ever describe it.
never..
i let the showers rained upon me,
this sense of relief when you're here.
i can live without anything as long as you're here, let alone the basic necessity for human survival.

i can don't on my com
phone? why let the unnecessary siren disturb our blissful slumber?
who needs an ipad?
music? silence is golden.

you know..
when you're here,
nothing matters anymore..