a playful concept of Pygmalion mythology,
a movie that voice out my fantasy,
a movie that i could relate too.
idealism,
dark,
comedy,
romance,
perspective.
all this, packed into one movie that is bound to swept you off your feet.
yes, i was swept off my feet by this movie.
Ruby Sparks is no doubt yet another girl i can add to the list of my fictional dream girls, together with a few others.
i have a quiet friday,
lying next to you, with you digging your nails into my hair, moving in gentle motion as i could felt your nails sends millions of shock wave through my nerve.
I closed my eyes, and enjoy the moment.
Bathing in bliss i guess.
who else, would let me play my PC in my room while she head back to my house with a foot long subway sandwich and 2 bags of LAYS?
we finished up the other half of ruby sparks, before lazing on the bed because of the afternoon rain, drifting to slumber.
a blissful sleep as i'm glad we're alright now.
we had dinner over running man, as i eventually gave in when girl gives me puppy eyes.
well, puppy eyes doesn't really work on me,
but alittle self reflection told me i'd been quite an ass so i just give in :3
and yes, we clocked the rest of our day in bed...
Calvin have Rudy,
i have Adeline.
Thank you Zoe Kazan.
For writing this beautiful piece of movie that touched my heart and my soul.
i would never forget this movie.
i made a mental note to add this movie to my "Movies to keep folder",
yes, it's my own tiny Oscar "nominees".
I walked her home,
held her hands while a sachet of my 5 hour old kopi dangles over the other.
i could feel the huge feelings of reluctance as my feet fill up my $2 osaki slippers.
i could feel the chilly night breeze embracing us as my hands slipped into hers,
entwining her fingers.
then we walked, along the path of life that would never end...
I sat inside the car feeling listless as the loud chatter goes on. Winding down windows, hitting on girls, some part of me just couldn't care less as I slouched at the back of the seat.
I look dreamily out of the window, thoughts swirling my head while looking at the fleeting traffic...drowning in my thoughts.
***
Yesterday's duty is beyond what I'd expected. Conversations that last forever, laughter, and noisy chatter until 3am.
It all ends and there I was, lying motionless as my berry beamed to life, playing music that kept me company throughout the night.
***
I was desperately looking at the clock, waiting for the siren. I wanted to leave this place, I wanted to escape.. But where?
This weird definition about depth is getting into me.
How could I scorn the superficial when I behave like one.
Things I wanted to work hard for? Things that would bring me out of procrastination. Maybe someone who would enlighten me...
Sunday.
Finally my week have come to an end. Sitting on the bus, on the way to V, scrolling my msg history while my delicate brain is trying to remember what have I done for the past week.
Just backtracked like 2 weeks worth of posts. Well I'm not really sure who really reads my blog out of all this traffic, but if u do, scroll down, it's worth a read. And THANK YOU. If you're actually reading this. You'll be blessed, if you know me, let me know. I do have some random friends who reads, and it's really nice to know if my posts or words had made any impact or transpire you to look at the world in any other special way which u didn't expect yourself to be.
A sincere thank you for everyone who'd read, including the closet readers overseas. Everyone. All I can wish for is what comes after will be all good and I hope my blog can be of use to let ur brain juice churn out something at the very least, beneficial for your journey of life itself.
Not acting like I'm famous or what in anyway, but if you're a forumer, u shld know what is SIC. Sharing is caring~ that's why u can see tons of nonsenses on my blog.
[Highlights of the Week]
Monday: RUN Tuesday: ADEL Wednesday: KTV Thursday: BK BOMB w/ B&C + RUN Friday: KKM w/ B&G + LAN x POWER NASI LEMAK Saturday: ADEL + McCAFE x LAN Sunday: V w/ G
Yes 2 LAN session. Never judge a summoner who live for the league. :3
***
Thought it all would turn out well again. But I guess not. I think I need to move on, learn to move on and at the very least, try.. To get out of this phase.
I feel so heavy inside, I feel like crying, Yet no tears come.
My emo posts, U just bluntly read through as it if's none of your concern. U didn't even address it, U didn't want to talk to me about as if my posts is for some other girl. U didn't.. Even care.. If I'm so so on the verge of break down. U didn't even reply to all of my questions alrdy, despite me asking, afew times more..
I'm not saying u didn't do ur part, nor am I trying to point fingers. But just so that, u didn't even try to talk about it, No matter what I write, how much I write, u just let what's there stays there.
Maybe u got too much on ur plate to worry about. Maybe.. I don't even have a place on your worry plate anymore.. Maybe..all of this is a mistake.
Tired? Yea, i probably guessed so. I'm too tired to think about things.
It's a hell of a day today. top it off, i'm functioning my weekends with a block nose. Yes, that suck.
Probably have too much draft for my weekdays and i ended up scrapping all of them.
i dont even know if this gets out.
why?
it feels like i'd lost the girl who'd loved me so much in the morning.
why would things come this way.
***
"While trying to achieve purpose A, you met problem B, so do you still
want to achieve purpose A, or solve problem B, if it means you might not
be able to achieve purpose A?"
i hope this is not the upcoming PSLE question.
but... let just say, we will achieve purpose A while solving problem B at the same time.
but...objectively, since B is said to be a problem, i guess why no ignore problem B but go ahead and achieve purpose A all the same?
****
[BEFORE READING ANY FURTHER]
for that special someone,
please play the following video before scrolling down and reading any further.
this is not an instruction, this is an ORDER. (:
>>>>> READY? >>>> PLAY ALREADY ANOT?
>>> U SURE AH?
>> OKOK. TRUST U
>LETS GO
****
bao.
we'd come so far.
we're been thru so much.
i'm weak,
i'm tearing.
this night,
i felt so overwhelmed by helplessness.
the slow songs of sorrows,
filled my years,
the singers, singing, conveying their sadness,
as if mourning for me.
sometimes you're so right, that i think i can never be wrong.
my mind is cluttered with strings of sentences that i could never form a passage with.
i dont want to lose you.
but if destiny calls,
i still dont want to lose you.
someone in life where i can truly be myself
someone whom we could be laughing about the good old times when we're together.
the foolish things we'd done.
the childish dance.
i dont know.
but i would want to be there,
feel happy, for you if one day, you're walking down the aisle,
but i'm not on the other side.
not towards me,
but maybe towards a guy that you deserve.
guess he also deserve my fist to his face... if he treats you bad.
but i would really like to beat him up.
but i'll be happy,
if you are. in that white beautiful gown. even when you're not mine.
but of course i will cry blood.
and my heart will be streaming tears all over my body and i would also be literally peeing blood tears and pee itself. and eventually my eyes would cry a mixture of blood and tears as well.
i will hold your hand, one last time,
nothing else, but a hand shake, with my tear soak hand.
the hand that use to wipe your tears..
okay, humour aside...
the 3 types of people in your life that you would meet in your life.
1. People you keep
2. People you remember
3. People you only say hi and bye to
you would never fall into the third catergory.
of course, there's an invisible fourth category,
people who u doesnt even remember when you walk pass him at orchard road.
but ah, u can't even remember, so not counted right?
but then again, you will never go pass 2.
at the very least.
my mind plays back the years we'd been through,
a weak smile, at how everyday can be so "happening" sometimes.
there's always something new.
i hope we can solve it,
overcome anything that get into our way.
so many years and we never fall short on obstacles.
sometimes, the quarrels we have, u can see me laughing thru the phone, even though we're scolding,
sometimes, we just lost the reason to.
sometimes, it just comes to a point, whereby we both dont know what are we quarreling for.
sometimes... we just might have to take a step back and accept our differences.
good days, bad days,
i really want to thank you for the great time we had.
maybe somehow, we lost it.
the bread crumbs.
the candy house.
you will forever be important to me.
and you will forever have a place in my heart.
a place in my heart where it belong to you, you and only you..
a room where no one could see,
where no one can enter.
i love you.
this i can promise you..
because..
i can never promise how good our lives would be
i can never promise you how awesome our kid would be
i can never promise you how rich i would get
i can never promise you i would get a 6 pac soon (fuck my life)
but..
i can promise you, i will work hard, for everything that is ahead of us.
the feelings you evoke.
i could never ever describe it.
never..
i let the showers rained upon me,
this sense of relief when you're here.
i can live without anything as long as you're here, let alone the basic necessity for human survival.
i can don't on my com
phone? why let the unnecessary siren disturb our blissful slumber?
who needs an ipad?
music? silence is golden.
you know..
when you're here,
nothing matters anymore..
I sat there, stoned while the sound of the karaoke drones on. The alcohol kicked in, I was in a daze, grabbing the mic, reading the lyrics half heatedly while trying to fit my voice to the melody.
Tuesday, I'm up early I guess. Left early. It felt so surreal to be early. I'm like a good 10minutes early?
Slept earlier than usual the night before. So much for being productive. Did some running and some casual reading. Still feeling sore from my legs D:
Read up one hot / cold showers, warm / cold drinks or whether even it is beneficial our body.
Slowly, I drifted to work..
I'm only waiting for u.
Just you.
The thought of meeting you later on keeps me alive.
***
There's always something new every now and then.
What could make a tuesday better than us acting like a cantonese couple?
a beautiful song that i revisited after a long time..
i'm tired, yet i want to change.
been draining alot of my reserve brain juice,
straining my body, my muscle gets back to stiffness as i just lay down, drifting to slumber.
i can feel it,
it's coming,
i should get back on my feet.
yes,
back on my feet.
the winds are finally coming,
it's time i ran down the decks, pull the sails and get ready for the wind.
wake up, I'm trying to show you
I wanna come clean
you mean more than you should mean
but I'm willing to be
the one that you put on a pedestal
the one that you see in your dreams
the one that you hide your true self from
the one you want to please
and I know that it's wrong to want something
so false and so fake
it's not that I want to fix you
I just want to get my way
cause you're the one that I put on a pedestal
the one who keeps coming back to me
the one that I gave my whole heart to
the one who makes me believe
I want a love that's side by side
I want a love that holds me tight
I want a love that feels like a dream
but when I wake up, he's still there with me
so put me up on a pedestal
give me everything I need
but give it to me so completely
that there will be no more wishing
no more wishing
no more wishing
no more wishing
Took a 30mins power nap. Before dipping my fat naked body into the warm showers.
Slacked awhile before I reluctantly wriggled my toes once again into my pair of size 9 boots. Procrastinated alittle, and 2 MVs and a full nail cut session would cost a sprint to the bus stop for me D:
Ah, sink hole along woodlands road. happening. Hope the bus gets reroute and have a temporary bus stop nearer to my place.
Fml. I could feel their weird stare as everyone on the bus was thinking why the fuck would someone, dressed in smart 4 climb up the fucking bus on a weekend.
***
Sleep,
Sleep,
So tired, so active. Drifting in and out of slumber. The rain makes it so hard for us to do our job properly. Yep. Free slavery when it comes to confinement, clean this clean that, paint this paint that.
[typing on reserve brain juice. 6.50 am in the morning. pardon me]
i miss the beautiful morning
when the first thing i would ever see is your face.
we spent the day at starbucks,
playing pixel people,
slacking at the library.
we'd come so far..
simplicity at it's best.
celebrated xp's bday with adel and her sisters.
awkward much.
i have a thing for Oz spin-offs and this one definitely didn't left me feeling disappointed and cursing myself while still seated after the credits starts rolling
"If a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so. Think twice before reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay."
"As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones."
"Making a hundred friends is not a miracle. The miracle is to make a single friend who will stand by your side even when hundreds are against you."
I'm early(:
I walked down the road,
Half smiling.
The winds had changed, I hope.
Started running, starting to feel just alittle more alive. I have my loved one, my brothers right by me. Even thou It might just be a handful, it's this handful that would fight right by me.
Slowly,
I walked down the grassy slope,
I can still feel the strain on my left knee.
It hurts abit but at least it show's something.
Maybe is the anti-work system. I don't know.. I'm always dead tired on weekdays. And I'm extra energetic during the weekends. I can function good enough on 6 hours of sleep or less.
Monday...
It's the thought of meeting you that's keeping me alive.
Nothing else matters.
Fluttering dreams.
Day 2,
Day 2..
It didn't feel like a weekend,
Like it usually would.
What went wrong?
I was happily living my life awhile ago,
Before this came over,
Crumble my dreams,
Took away my motivation
Leave me like an empty shell.
I use to count my blessing,
Enjoy and savor every bit of happiness bestowed to me. Like how it really work when u woke up with a smile and tell yourself today's definitely gonna be a good day. And how it turn out well and how u tell your other half inside you, "see I told ya".
***
Didn't manage to run due to the rain, I definitely am going to come out with something. Definitely... Fuck.
Today, I listen to songs that I haven been listening for months. Threw in some beats over there.
1. Papermoon
2. Juniel - illa illa
3. Titanium
4. Lights - Siberia
5. Call me maybe
6. Dreams come true
7. Ash like Snow
8. Beast - Midnight Sun
9. F(x) - Electric Shock
Trying real bad to warm myself up for the weekends :/
***
I sat there,
While watching my brothers drone on..
How shallow have u become?
I wanted to save you,
But there's just so much I can do..
Brother..
1. Start Running Weekly
2. Take the Stairs everyday
3. Shower with cold water
4. Practice Guitar Weekly
5. 2 Days Lo-Carb Diet Per Week
Ah, the cooling morning breeze.
My 3 days break make it felt like weekends and today felt so much like monday.
I woke up, get prepped and head off nevertheless with a smile on my face since weekends begins tomorrow.
***
I'd got work todo.
Now I see, what work it is.
Work. to change myself,
Change my life,
Enrich my mind,
Brother,
My dearest brother.
One of my dearest brother,
A brother whom I'll stand by at his wedding, shaking his hand as he receive the girl of his dreams at the chapel.
We sat there.. Together, sipping coffee, waiting for an answer that never seem to come. I don't know how long we would be sitting there for but seems like it won't be anytime soon.
The leap of faith, the girl that'll indefinitely change your life. The girl that you're suppose to look for. The girl who'll be in your all, came to your life, like fairy tale, appearing to be the one that you'd been looking for. We rejoice the good ol' days, we look back at how it really could have been better if the princess didn't have cold feet.
Why.. Why?? Would she go back and succumb to salvery when she could elope to the city of dreams with the prince? That.. We'll never know..
But brother, you would be fine. You will find happiness, answers.. And peace.
Sad, truly sad..
I reluctantly wriggled my toes into my socks, slipped my toes into my boots..
Darn.. I can still feel the warmth of my boots. It'd only been less than 18 hours ago before my weekends started.
Damn duty. But yea, it's called duty for a reason, so I'll have to get my sorry ass in camp. I'm somehow forward to it. Spend the night loading up movies, not sleeping really a lot. Well u're forced to get ample rest, and there're 4 other sorry asses waiting for you over there.
I'll just get it over and done with. Then I'm done for march(:
Quietly serve and quietly leaves. Just like the gentle wind..
My heart skipped a beat when I realize that the obedience wives club is performing today. Thought it's next friday as I got the date wrong. I immediately summoned aaron up on whatsapp, dragging him to go with me.
We started our little journey after a brieft catchup dinner @ plaza's macdonald's.
Situated at the red dot museum, we could never imagine what awaits for us there right after we got down the mrt and stroll towards maxell. Wow.. I went wow. Literally...
It's a cool place.
Or a hub, we call it. Food, wine, bistro, pub. Food aside~ there's a whole lot of cool fleas, lining up along the outside, and clutter in the inside. Shops, exhibition, art fest, innovation fair, home decor shops and everything. Artist, musicians, everyone just gathers there, like a small community.
The air felt different, the people felt different. Not a those stereotypical mainstream people which you might saw from elsewhere. They are different, and they dare to be. Respecto~
A patch of mat lays in a corning, right infront of instruments and audio set ups. The bands roar to life, uplifting the atmosphere (or killing it). Operating from 5am-midnight, MAAD would definitely be a place where I would go again, definitely (:
P.S. Got no idea, why I love our local art scene so much.
Quiet night indeed, and my only regret is missing the performance I wanted to catch. We strolled down ann siang, beer in hand, exploring streets, and even the duxton. Thought we could make it to it's 50th storey sky garden, darn it's locked! Can somebody 'sign' us in please???!!
