030512

"Fuck, left so little?"

I cursed as I read the receipt that I'd just pulled out from the atm. Mental calculations and recollections from what I'd done started to pour into my mind. Yet, I didn't remembered spending that much.

Transportation cost always take its toll on me, yet life w/ such minimal pay as compared to working society just sucks.

***

My week was rather 'happening' I would say. Already numbed in camp, I'm living everyday on a routine level, habit, duty, responsibility, whatever you can call it.
Yet, I'd started an expensive habit, which was ironic as I was starving myself in camp to save $$$. Heading out after camp. It could be anything, be it out for coffee, or dinner, or just hang around as if waiting for something to happen. And sadly, it'd been says since I last seek refuge on the comforts of my room, surfing the net or just probably gaming, and wasting life away.

Certainly it wasn't battleship on that wednesday night movie session that left me thinking, but it just daunt upon me that how precious is time and yet we're wasting it. It's like shedding blood in a twisted hourglass. U can't topple it to start all over again, u have to keep yourself on the move, because once it's over, it's really over..

Sitting in a seemingly empty bus, I felt helpless over the outcomes of life I could've reach. A make or break, a steady slow income that would probably needs me to shoulder my debts for decade(s). I just don't know what seems right.

Fuck my life for such retarded morning thoughts.

***

Am I trying to hard to make things right?
Why things always go wrong when I tried going to the extra mile? I really can't help but wonder what is wrong. Is there something wrong with us?? So many years, yet this eye sore still persist..
Why just can't things sail smoothly?

I'm so scared, and tired..
I don't know what to say anymore..
_the end

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{Sent from my BlackBerry.}