I'm awake.. I'm awake..
Life's still slow and monotonous as usual.. Until this sighting of an old unusual homeless lady yesterday..

She carried and air of nothing but grim, ominous, nothing good.. Furnitures packed neatly, tucked right in front of our block's letter box, with her old mattress tied on top, she's sitting by the side. She's been there since yesterday morning, not moving an inch from the space, nothing came, and yet we're all not sure have she eaten anything. She just sits there on a portable chair, just gazing away...

It pains me. This sight..
_the end

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{Sent from my BlackBerry.}

People

Disclaimer:

this is obviously and absolutely boring work of mine since i'm rooting myself on my computer chair.
im just simply doing this as an act of procrastination for my shower. despite this, all works here are base on my thoughts long ago and any similarities to situations or character is either coincidental or it's basically me being stereotypical.

People. Vol 1

The Many People.

A cheery school girl, who skips to school everyday, humming her favourite melody.
slack to the fullest, copying school work from her studious friend.
the little girl who dance in the rain, holding her hands outwards to the skies, as if touching the many confetti that're thrown to her during the celebration of life.
the wet confetti thrown by the invisible arms from the heavens.
the other way to look at rain in life...

***

The little baby, being strapped onto his mum, his head wobbling in an unstable momentum against his mother's pace down the road. Fascinated, he say giant machines that looked similar to the mini toy cars he played, roaring loudly across the road, not forgetting the mystical stick which shoots out beams of lights which control the cars, as if the conductor of a major band playing a beautiful symphony.
The naive baby.
"Oh, mummy's moving when it's green light too. So do we gets controlled by that mystical stick when we grow up to?"

***

Threads of white hair can be seen forming on the side, sitting on the red coffeshop chair which everyone knows, he heave his legs off his slippers and rest them on another.
On it's tables are many gleaming bottles that reflected against the old florescent light in the coffeeshop. Lying back his head, he breathed in the burning paper stick wrapped with nicotine and felt smoke work it's way in this body as he draws it down into the lungs. Some crushed bet slips are seen on the floor, probably an act of wrath when felt betrayed by the god of wealth. Streams of smoke came out in line from his nostrils, as if an mechanical dragon.
"Eh Chio eh, Lai Yi Duo Yi Ping Carlsberg!"

***

Looks like i got lazy again. Time to shower~

time

just bored, and wanted to hit something... life's just like routine. mundane, just like any other calm sea. the jungle's silent, and silence itself had it's own way of flaunting it's beauty. the beauty of nothing. just like a clean sheet of white paper. just what i need. life isn't that hard now that i think of it. there's lot of areas i have to work on, looks of "decision-math" that i need to do. calculating the best time for taking MA, Offs and all is enough to keep me busy. and of course, doing real work. & recently, im caught up by this unusual fatigue. got tired recently, dozing off extra easily. am i old ? and no matter how, laziness still stays in me. it's like as if it's human nature to be lazy. # FML (you just wasted 2 minutes of your time for reading this unnecessary chunk or random typing)

190412

I'm actually typing this in the midst of the jam. Unfortunately, my bus's caught in this screwed up jam which I thought, won't be coming in our way as I'm ahead of the clock.
Traffic's hectic now and with all the slow forward and break's killing me.

The air of thursday. Isn't that great. Surprisingly, I'm reluctant to go for my MA today. Once in a millionth. My social links are all messed up and I ought to do something about it.

***

Wednesday end on a okay note, but.. I just can't help waking up, feeling all emotional about it. As if I'm heaving my legs, chained to a thousands regrets of what could have happen if..

what could have happen if I knew you early?
what could have happen if I didn't turned into a monster?

And a thousands of such hypothetical questions that lead us to daydream, be it for a happy ending or no..

***

The road is surprisingly clogged and curious people are constantly starring out to the road, at this chain of endless cars queuing up, not knowing what went wrong. There I am, sucked in vehicle TIB569J stamping my fingers onto my keyboard to kill time. Apparently it's not working very well with all the momentary jerks which always brings me back into reality.

With 20mins stucked in the bus, we concluded the jam with an end scene of a motor being crashed into a honda. Guess that's what ruined our day. Ruined mine, big time.

***

Back to my story, with traffic going smooth, guess I'd got a lot of things to do. To manage things...

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_the end

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{Sent from my BlackBerry.}

030512

"Fuck, left so little?"

I cursed as I read the receipt that I'd just pulled out from the atm. Mental calculations and recollections from what I'd done started to pour into my mind. Yet, I didn't remembered spending that much.

Transportation cost always take its toll on me, yet life w/ such minimal pay as compared to working society just sucks.

***

My week was rather 'happening' I would say. Already numbed in camp, I'm living everyday on a routine level, habit, duty, responsibility, whatever you can call it.
Yet, I'd started an expensive habit, which was ironic as I was starving myself in camp to save $$$. Heading out after camp. It could be anything, be it out for coffee, or dinner, or just hang around as if waiting for something to happen. And sadly, it'd been says since I last seek refuge on the comforts of my room, surfing the net or just probably gaming, and wasting life away.

Certainly it wasn't battleship on that wednesday night movie session that left me thinking, but it just daunt upon me that how precious is time and yet we're wasting it. It's like shedding blood in a twisted hourglass. U can't topple it to start all over again, u have to keep yourself on the move, because once it's over, it's really over..

Sitting in a seemingly empty bus, I felt helpless over the outcomes of life I could've reach. A make or break, a steady slow income that would probably needs me to shoulder my debts for decade(s). I just don't know what seems right.

Fuck my life for such retarded morning thoughts.

***

Am I trying to hard to make things right?
Why things always go wrong when I tried going to the extra mile? I really can't help but wonder what is wrong. Is there something wrong with us?? So many years, yet this eye sore still persist..
Why just can't things sail smoothly?

I'm so scared, and tired..
I don't know what to say anymore..
_the end

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{Sent from my BlackBerry.}