Child

I'm afraid.. Really afraid..

sole

how he would snaked into your mind.
played with your thoughts, toyed with your emotions,
for he who lies, plays the deadly cards that flutters your judgement.

now who's the devil?

i don't know, i would never wanted to as well.
we shared, good times, thick and thin, but somehow things are no longer similar anymore..
my brother..

that aside, my new boss's just got here,
and we fucking have the same ord date.
ord lo (fml still got mother fucking long pls)

songs that sooth the soul.









***

i ought to be bathing in bliss.
i ought to..
tired, fatigue.
i just lost interest in almost anything,
my drive just disappeared as if i'm helplessly trying to grab water with my hands, slipping thru inevitably from the gaps from my fingers.
it feels really terrible.
really.. terrible.. so much that it hurts.

work's still good.
everything's good.
i'm enjoying this newly forged brotherhood.

had this weird dream
this little girl, crying infront of me,
i keep asking why, but she didn't say a word,
but still keep crying. and crying.
oh poor child..
i could never interpret this shit. God just overestimated me.

& the pandas are here in singapore.
but with this killer weather i rather watched animals off youtube.

***

secret poison teaser.



sexy as well <3 p="p">& they just gave me 4 lucky digits. huat ah~

KW7142 Korea Sexy Webcam Girl Park Nima 朴妮唛 / 박니마

sorry if this is WOLS.

KW7142 Korea Sexy Webcam Girl Park Nima 朴妮唛 / 박니마

~ ~ ~

wolf whistle all around, since most of my friends cant wait to sink their fangs into this korean snow white i decide to find the full video of her.

youtube doesn't have the full one as those are cut to make it pg13. but hell am i not giving up
and after a "short" while, i finally found the full video.
this is a fucking MUST SHARE knn

R21. lets go

VIMEO

疑韓國女主播豔舞影音流出（KW7142情趣內衣）完整版 卡提諾影音 from Lucas Kwang on Vimeo.

DAILY MOTION


KW7142 by NameName_Bmth

& holy shit, she's fucking 36!
if only my wife is so hot when she's 36.
i would fucking marry her.

***

laid back

i was high.
not alcoholic high, just normal high.

we went to kfc, and i spilled my medium pepsi onto to my berms.
my balls are dripping wet, and it's cold.
and i just sat there, oblivious to everything, why my friends laughed.
i would have laughed too, but i'm just too lazy to do anything about it.

& slowly, i took off my berms and air it on the chair beside me.
fucking sitting in kfc with only my boxers.

come to think of it,
it's a pretty nice moment to laughed at.
we had fun.

and off i went to round 2 with my drenched berms.
switched my persona during the night, a different one for my poly cliques.
yes, the 4 brothers.
i'm different, yet i'm still myself with you guys.
nothing beats supper talks.
we'd all grown up i guess.
the only thing that didn't change is... beo-ing chio bu :D

a sunday at home.
this is a quiet week..
at least. i made it quiet.
i ought to take a break.
and to be fucking honest, i didn't really have feel to write today.
words just seem to trail off, before they could become a sentence.

i keep telling myself to start moving.

afew more goals to be written in my old crumpled sheet of goal list.
i'm getting started. i wish...

***

gamers unite! all hail the newly made free game on steam.



gotham city imposters.
it's a 6 v 6 arena fps with a wide array of weapons.
so what would you be? the crazy samurai slicing off bat man wanna be? or the quiet sniper that put bullets thru the head of those crazy bastards?

a day at home.
alone...

yes, pumping the music,
slacking.
and sipping occasional drink to keep me hydrated.

i'm still procrastinating.
i need some.
S O L I D
D E T E R M I N A T I O N

to get things started.
afew things i need to do.
my computer programs are still downloading,
wols...
sigh -.-

see no evil.

random cravings.

Ontour X Komono "See No Evil" watch from Ontour on Vimeo.

do check out on stuff by KOMONO.
they have really awesome apparels and accessories.
and it's not difficult to find one that defines your style~

i always adored the eye.
it's so beautiful.
people believed that the eye connects people to their soul.
and it's always the eyes that makes me fall, and not the body.

eye on my cap, shirt.
and now this one is on the watch <3 p="p">
***

just a quiet sunday.
for myself i guess..
for all hectic weekends, it's time i slow down and get prepared for work tomorrow.
and i'd cut down on gaming.
alot of it.
been out too much, so much that i nvr spend much time on my computer as well.

was talking to my couz, and...
well i guess i sometimes love how we roll.
us as in...me and her.
we fooled around alot, played together alot.
i love how u pulled my ears,
i love how u hit me when u caught me starring at random chio bus.
i love how u kp and swear at me like how i swore at you :P (just for the fun of it)
i love the many million things that i could nvr list them out, but always kept them with me.
and i missed you.

maybe that's why we stayed.
isn't it?

***

before i go,
from pickbrain,

5 Quotes To Start Your Week Off Right!

Keeping it simple this week!

1. “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein

2. “If what you’re doing is not your passion, you have nothing to lose.” - Anonymous

3. “What the mind can conceive, it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill

4. “First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win.” – Mahatma Gandhi

5. “Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drowned your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs

retro chicks and vintage queens

endless streams of thoughts seemed to came by my mind today, sadly, much was it was taken away together with my fatigue at the end of the day.

finally, we got our date. 

after so long, i finally get to go out with my angel. on a proper date.

million bus rides, a well deserved check point by clementi's new macdonalds.

oh fuck, i missed that place.

i strolled through the streets slowly, taking in the air of the newly reborn estate.

i was here 10 years ago, i was always here. 

the naive me who ran down by the shops after meals, the little boy who peers at the bakery, admiring the beautiful green spiral drawn on the bun.

the colorful snacks that makes me drool. and the cheapo samurai sword which nvr last for more than a week because it's fucking plastic.

including the shop that sold my parents canes. i hate them.

the beautiful array of fabrics that used to hang beautifully from the ceiling, as if we're always in festive season.

i would nvr forget the sand playground.

but it's all gone.

buildings erected, constructions took place, taking over the tiny city that i'd always been trailing in.

while preserving some, they took some as well...

at least all is not lost.

before i can slowly enjoy bathing in this nostalgic feeling, we're on the road again.

travelling towards thompson, entered some place like trade hub.

i fucking swear that this is not a worthy trip.

including the mini stop we made at novena, before reaching Orchard.

when was the last time we strolled down orchard road, hooked hands, carrying shopping bags.

today we did.

Yada yada, and finally we manage to get a decent, but not the best seat in MA MAISON @ Central.

it's awesome for food. but service wise, it didn't leave me feeling very pleasant thou.

i'm gonna give it the benefit of a fucking doubt because the manager said that "bugis one is different".

but fuck the service, if you have a date, want a decently affordable place with a riverside view. this is the place to go. it's quiet, and chill.

despite not being born photogenic. we still took lots of photos today.

and thinking back, i'd already forgotten when was the last time we did that.

*sigh* 

we're all growing up. running with time.

we ended our day after a yet another fruitless trip to kinokuniya.

we're fucking dead beat by the time we ran and caught up with 190.

and there, we're going home.

guess we're too old for this shit ain't it?

thinking back... we had alot of fruitless runs throughout the years haven't we?

it was only 10 when it all end, but it felt like a long long day.

i wish we could have lay down and watch the skies, plucking white cotton candies as if we're eating the clouds.

i could do this shit forever.

***

no idea, why this song played in my head throughout the day.

i know it's old. but it's sort of stuck in my head for now.

she's got an angelic voice and a body of sins.

she's primadonna 

dreams

despite of being in the state procrastination of not doing anything to improve my life.
i'm still trying my best to do the very least.
i just went for my first run,
i'm not gonna stop reading,

to be honest.
i'm just trying to drown myself out.



despite the long tiring sleep that left me with a mixture of excitement and anger that it all ended.
my mind still trail by the bits of thread left by all the weaving.



you were always wearing blue.
just like how i wanted.
blue top
blue tank top
white top with blue suspenders,
always there's a shade of blue tagging with you..
the fragments of the dreams are just in a mess.
but i cant seem to piece the whole thing logically together.



i know you from one of my friend.
he introduced me to you,
sweet looking, a girl full of smiles,
of course i played by the bro code.
you didn't attracted me then.

things happened,
we were thrown together in many situations.
maybe it's because you lived near me that's why we're always together
sometimes you will pop by,
asking me to come down..


we went kite flying.
we lay down on the endless glass land.
gazing at the stars.
i'd nvr seen you looked so deep before.
the eyes that looked outwards to a million miles.


i could remember the entire layout of your house clearly.
the rooms.
the kitchen that is filled with a million cooking equipments.
the unusually big storeroom.
the tv which is always droning in one small room.
there's even a back door that lead out to the colourful corridor


we were in your room
we didn't talk much.
you were doing your things, lying face flat on ur bed with ur legs pointing towards the sky.
i'm lying against a wall, doing my usual reading.
nobody broke the golden silence.


you were crying..
i hugged onto you.
i had an awkward erection as you hugged onto me.
u were smiling with your tearful face

for a moment, you had a brother.
a younger one.
small bald, we played together.
it was just a small moment. just 3 of us.


we were playing together,
tickling each other in this room filled with photos.
but not of us.
something sexual almost happened.
i was blushing and i swear i wont tell anybody.


your parents were disappointed about you.
you stood there when the fight took place.
i spoke to your parents.
i was crying.


in the slightest irony. you mum liked me.
we spoke about you.
i smiled at about how things are going better now.
even though i'd never seen your dad.
he's just a black figure, or someone who's always out of sight.


despite all.
we were never together...



i ended up outside of your house.
your estate seems like another planet.
there's a million cupboards outside, each holds a store just like flea.
and i saw one with many beautiful things.
and i ran towards it, grabbing and keeping all the beautiful things for my loved ones.
for you.


and we never met.
on the way out, i keep reciting to myself that i must give u those beautiful things.
but... we never met.
i was jolt awake.


then i missed you.
***

i'm gonna tidy my room.
fuck this shit.

waveya

rmb gangnam style? the style that took kpop to a whole new level and had been hitting millions of views?
these ladies got that swag too :D



waveya, a korean dance team. such unpolished gems~ a pity that they're not debuting.





nosebleed liao. brb T_T

Wor

I want to start on something, but I can't think of what to write. Like how slack my days have been, alcohol numbing, spending days while doing exactly nth while million thoughts floated in my mind.

I'd like to call them fragments. Fragments that make my week, fragments that make up my life.

Wednesday:

Crazy halfday. Zipped by home to charge up my berry and took a nice nap. Head out with my brothers for a nice crazy drinking session. Got kinda drunk and I started laughing, getting high and calling people from my phone.

I was numb.

Thursday: national day

A visit to my old social link. Just a simple dinner and chitchat session with my old neighbors. Not judging her daughter, but felt that I could do smth to help her little brother. He can't even talk when we moved house. And now he's all grown up, secondary 1, addicted gamer, a hermit in fact.

Looks like a dinner won't be enough to wipe off 10 years worth of dust on our social link.

Friday:

Just waiting for the day to be over and I just can't wait to gtfo.
took a half day off in the end and head out for coffee talk w/ J and bry. Culture shock.
follow by drinking @ sentosa. I didn't get dead drunk this time.

Saturday:

Breaking fast with my malay secondary school friends. Followed by bowling. Our standard prata and bowling. it still taste the same. But why does it felt so different? The cobwebs on our social links.. I feel so disconnected.

Sunday:

KD and Jasper. My closest bro during my secondary school years. How long have we not have a simple dinner together?

A nice catch up session before slacking @ kd's place. God we really have to meet up more often.

Monday:

I didn't feel the ache yet. Probably it's because that I'm going for my medical appointment today.

I saw my dad otw back. We walked together. We're awkwardly similar.. The way we walk, behave and talk.. We did nth but made small talks yet let the silence make comfort.

My day wasn't that lucky at first but things got better after I decided to venture out to town alone. Yes, been quite sometime since I'd embarked into my little journey of self discovery. Walking around town, movie, people watching.

And met up with my cousin briefly after that. Things didn't went really smooth, bt I dare say I enjoyed myself.

Tuesday:

Took an additional day off yesterday and it felt exactly like sunday, I slacked in the day, head out during the night. Coffee talks, dipped with abit of computer games. Failling asleep by midnight, making sure that I'd put the day to full use, before allowing my flesh machine to rest for the day. You're stilled beautiful.
Despite all the disagreements we had.

And I spend the evening like every sunday. A meal out with my couz, followed by our usual lan session before making my way back.. Reluctantly...

***

I woke up. The blues kicked in, hit me like a train as I snoozed and set countdown timer while my body began to finally accept information that I'm suppose to get up and prepare for camp.

I stood blankly under the shower head and let the million droplets hit me while I swam in my sea of thoughts. The sea is blank..
I felt empty..

Then I wore my mask... And here comes yet another day in the jungle.

Thoughts wheeled in and out of my mind, it's morning yet I couldnt sleep. I must couldn't.. Surfing aimlessly on the net, my mind's all transfixed to tomorrow. I.... It's like you're a stranger to me, and tomorrow is like the first time that we meet. A mixture of nervousness and excitement starts forming in me. Yes, we all do have a choice. How different are we, but similar in the weirdest of way as we seek emotional refuge in each other's refuge. I'm just tired, I want to breathe.

Thoughts wheeled in and out of my mind, it's morning yet I couldnt sleep. I must couldn't.. Surfing aimlessly on the net, my mind's all transfixed to tomorrow. I.... It's like you're a stranger to me, and tomorrow is like the first time that we meet. A mixture of nervousness and excitement starts forming in me. Yes, we all do have a choice. How different are we, but similar in the weirdest of way as we seek emotional refuge in each other's refuge. I'm just tired, I want to breathe.

I wanted to look at the stars with you, and tell you that you're still beautiful.


Sent from my iPad

watch art.

time to watch some art.

'The Eagleman Stag' Animated Short Film by Mikey Please

Tackling the issue of how time becomes insignificant as one gets older, Mikey Please's charming stop-motion short film has won numerous awards (e.g. BAFTA 2011, British Animation Awards, AFI 2011). Using only a white foam-like material, the monochrome animations are given the voice of actor David Cann.

The Eagleman Stag revolves around the philosophical notion of how the value of time diminishes if we don't make use of it appropriately, and its not difficult to appreciate Mikey Please's intricately carved sets and puppets. 

@streething.com

time to bring "five7ninety-three." back alive

Sentences just came threading through the tiny gaps of my brain. Like little worms that came to take the apple, they took me over. Paragraphs of stories such forming. I would be in a mood for weaving tales, but it would not be the right time since I'm standing in a crowded bus filled to the brim such that I'm only an inch closer to a molestation case, and whereby my fingers couldn't hit away and dance freely.

I started thinking about people, it happened during work yesterday. And.. Today.. I never know how deep this might get, since it's merely a game of guessing and hypothetically assign a story to them. Which may or may not, accurately or not, depict any point of their history that made them this way. There can no be justification.

Cacophonous voices that trailed among the crowd as people start squeezing in and out of the bus.
We're like talking sardines..

People. Vol 2

*i just need to write a long post to waste time, and after dipping into volume one for inspiration, i'm up once again*

Disclaimer:

this is obviously and absolutely boring work of mine since i'm rooting myself on my computer chair.
im just simply doing this as an act of procrastination for my shower. despite this, all works here are base on my thoughts long ago and any similarities to situations or character is either coincidental or it's basically me being stereotypical.

People. Vol 1

The Many People.

A cheery school girl, who skips to school everyday, humming her favourite melody.
slack to the fullest, copying school work from her studious friend.
the little girl who dance in the rain, holding her hands outwards to the skies, as if touching the many confetti that're thrown to her during the celebration of life.
the wet confetti thrown by the invisible arms from the heavens.
the other way to look at rain in life...

***

The little baby, being strapped onto his mum, his head wobbling in an unstable momentum against his mother's pace down the road. Fascinated, he sees giant machines that looked similar to the mini toy cars he played, roaring loudly across the road, not forgetting the mystical stick which shoots out beams of lights which control the cars, as if the conductor of a major band playing a beautiful symphony.
The naive baby.
"Oh, mummy's moving when it's green light too. So do we gets controlled by that mystical stick when we grow up too?"

***

Threads of white hair can be seen forming on the side, sitting on the red coffeshop chair which everyone knows, he heave his legs off his slippers and rest them on another.
On it's tables are many gleaming bottles that reflected against the old florescent light in the coffeeshop. Lying back his head, he breathed in the burning paper stick wrapped with nicotine and felt smoke work it's way in this body as he draws it down into the lungs. Some crushed bet slips are seen on the floor, probably an act of wrath when felt betrayed by the god of wealth. Streams of smoke came out in line from his nostrils, as if an mechanical dragon.
"Eh Chio eh, Lai Yi Duo Yi Ping Carlsberg!"

***

---

People. Vol 2

Sorrows I

***

The guy who clubs every week, as if like exercise, seeking for love on every wednesday night to numb himself. He is smooth, he could get girls. He's sleek, he drives out every night, hoping the night hound would for a moment engulf his innocent naive self, the one who got cheated and dumped, speeding pass countless lamp lights with a lighted cigarette in the corner of his mouth.

Nicotine and alcohol filled his brain and blood

but yet what could fill his empty heart? when girls are just nothing but pouring into his bucket full of holes. They can never be filled you know? 

***

This young girl, looking for love in the virtual world every night. For she would lives in the virtual world, root herself to her chair in front of her pixelated screen. Firing away chat bubbles out to this wide virtual ocean of love, which love is as hard to find as a needle in the sea. It wont stop, her countless chat media, the various beeping sounds which could only signify how hungry she were. Her thirst arises after she broke up years back, she got enough of soaking her pillow with tears. But to no avail, there are many more dark figures lurking than the prince. She'd got her own fair share of failures, but yet she just didn't give up. Yet deep inside she knows that no one is going to save her if she took a bite at the poison apple.

***

His ipod plugged into his ears, more than 12 hours a day, be it walking to school, walking back. He goes out alone, as if seeking for.. an answer. Isolating his schooling life from his personal ones, he would be alone, most of the time, and his ipod would be like a part of him, attach to his ears all the time, as he eats, smoke, stroll around the park looking at people. He can't hear the outside world screaming words of reality at him.

He's a dreamer. And we would never know what is he listening either.

***

Pushing her pram down the outskirts of bugis street, she had a tough time navigating through the crowd. Pulling up the shutter, another day begins as she position her pram before throwing off her bills and receipts chunked sling bag onto the counter. 

Her mind begins to ponders, oblivious to customers who streams in unless summoned. Of her life, of how her decisions caused her to fall. And how that jerk just didn't pay for what he'd done, yet the victim is the one who pays the price after throwing all the cards on the table. 

Sitting down listlessly as she looked at the pram, miniature limbs waving wildly at the noisy crowd. Looks like the baby's gotten use to life too right?

"eh hey, uhm this one how much ah?"

***

Tears stream down the corner of her eyes as she sat by the playground in the middle of the night. She heave a heavy sigh while slowly slitting her wrist with a cigarette her mouth. Swiping her fringe to the side, biting hard on the filer as she saw her wounds open again.. Just like the old times when she found out that he was just toying with her. Sobbing harder than ever, how she hates to face the world in the day, and how she would escape at night. She screams were silent and pain is her friend. How dare he? she love him, deceived by his honey smeared words, which crudely made her open herself to him, and her legs as well. She gave him his all, but yet what was given was not reciprocate. It will never be returned.

She felt like a caged bird. It's like she never left. 

***

Need more brain juice.

(brb)

w

this is so mentally draining.
like how i would drag my heavy feet up this slope that would eventually lead me to my block,
that i would have to wait for 2 traffic lights which always turn red whenever i'm anywhere near them,
and i would drop myself on my chair while i slowly remove my boots, flinging off my socks, and i'll slowly get a little more a life as i light up my cpu, booting my com to live.

i count the days carefully, within my fingers, watching it flies, wasting time.
tuesday today. and it'll be midnight tomorrow.
and i'd been clocking in unhealthy hours of gaming under my belt and i just feel so unmotivated all the time.
i need a push. a call.
i need to move, or to wake up.

fml

whopps. my cover's blow
fuck this shit D:

i feel naked. bare naked.
i felt shame.
shame of myself.

Dear Esther

When gaming gets another perspective.

Dear Esther..

beautiful graphics, good game for quiet nights.



for those who played, here're the known ghost sightings, if you miss'em D:



huat

Girls

PEOPLE USED TO LOOK OUT ON THE
PLAYGROUND AND SAY THAT THE
BOYS WERE PLAYING SOCCER AND
THE GIRLS WERE DOING NOTHING .
BUT THE GIRLS WEREN'T DOING
NOTHING—THEY WERE TALKING .
THE Y WERE TALKING ABOUT THE
WORLD TO ONE ANOTHER . AND THEY
BECAME VERY EXPERT ABOUT THAT
IN A WAY THE BOYS DID NOT.
CAROL GILLIGAN,
In a Different Voice: Psychological
Theory and Women's Development


Ltr I realize it's gossiping.

devil's nest

when the sun sets, the devil comes to play
chilling the air, goosebumps with dismay
for he waste no time,
in the puff of smokes that swim through the air
roaming through your body, your life and your lair
you stood there helpless and you want to cry
but no sound could escape no matter how you try

he skips he hops he flies he smiles
down the little grim dark aisle.
down came the thunder, and then the rain
there your life would forever be stain

you can never run u can never hide
for he would haunt your life until you die
there the devil, lying on his cloud
using his slitted tongue making hissing sounds

weaving your stories with his cursed vines
you life and his, will forever be entwined.
yes he is here, he's here to play
here come's your life darkest bane