despite of being in the state procrastination of not doing anything to improve my life.
i'm still trying my best to do the very least.
i just went for my first run,
i'm not gonna stop reading,
to be honest.
i'm just trying to drown myself out.
despite the long tiring sleep that left me with a mixture of excitement and anger that it all ended.
my mind still trail by the bits of thread left by all the weaving.
you were always wearing blue.
just like how i wanted.
blue top
blue tank top
white top with blue suspenders,
always there's a shade of blue tagging with you..
the fragments of the dreams are just in a mess.
but i cant seem to piece the whole thing logically together.
i know you from one of my friend.
he introduced me to you,
sweet looking, a girl full of smiles,
of course i played by the bro code.
you didn't attracted me then.
things happened,
we were thrown together in many situations.
maybe it's because you lived near me that's why we're always together
sometimes you will pop by,
asking me to come down..
we went kite flying.
we lay down on the endless glass land.
gazing at the stars.
i'd nvr seen you looked so deep before.
the eyes that looked outwards to a million miles.
i could remember the entire layout of your house clearly.
the rooms.
the kitchen that is filled with a million cooking equipments.
the unusually big storeroom.
the tv which is always droning in one small room.
there's even a back door that lead out to the colourful corridor
we were in your room
we didn't talk much.
you were doing your things, lying face flat on ur bed with ur legs pointing towards the sky.
i'm lying against a wall, doing my usual reading.
nobody broke the golden silence.
you were crying..
i hugged onto you.
i had an awkward erection as you hugged onto me.
u were smiling with your tearful face
for a moment, you had a brother.
a younger one.
small bald, we played together.
it was just a small moment. just 3 of us.
we were playing together,
tickling each other in this room filled with photos.
but not of us.
something sexual almost happened.
i was blushing and i swear i wont tell anybody.
your parents were disappointed about you.
you stood there when the fight took place.
i spoke to your parents.
i was crying.
in the slightest irony. you mum liked me.
we spoke about you.
i smiled at about how things are going better now.
even though i'd never seen your dad.
he's just a black figure, or someone who's always out of sight.
despite all.
we were never together...
i ended up outside of your house.
your estate seems like another planet.
there's a million cupboards outside, each holds a store just like flea.
and i saw one with many beautiful things.
and i ran towards it, grabbing and keeping all the beautiful things for my loved ones.
for you.
and we never met.
on the way out, i keep reciting to myself that i must give u those beautiful things.
but... we never met.
i was jolt awake.
then i missed you.
***
i'm gonna tidy my room.
fuck this shit.
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
DR2M
double or triple layered dream today.
it's still kinda vivid.
rest at home cos' had a day out yesterday.
so i just lay down at home, waking up at 2, and hoping for lunch.
didn't get my hopes up since it's 4 then, and i just ate chips and cookies waiting for dinner.
can't believe all happened in a span of 2 hours.
got so fucking tired that i missed the 6pm's music bank.
***
i always enjoy dreaming & somehow usually i'm in control to carry out actions & all and today's pretty much fresh
surreal feeling and in i went, it all started out in a classroom, where some guys and i planned an expedition out to some random country, train travelling's the in thing and we decided to travel by train and explore the gigantic plateau.
Somehow we know that it might be dangerous and all since there're people missing their rides, and got lost.
but travel agency always provide this "customer service" thingy, inwhich if you were to miss your ride, u can always get onto another ride, or u still can get back to your country. by flashing the proof of purchase card u're covered of all travelling expenses via train for the trip back home.
so there we go.
but there wasn't any concrete places where we stayed so it felt pretty weird still..
we travel to a variety of places, and i remembered london :D fanciful hotel doors and it's beautiful city-scape. it's more like a class trip, but happiness doesn't last long.
nightmare arises as soon as 5 of our mates got missing. *doing headcount and realises* but there's this system so we didn't worried.
stop at England or Britain where we went over to 7-11 for a 15 mins break.
get the drinks and stuff, and derrick and i sort of horse around by the counter.
and yes, we missed the train..
so we waited and waited..
saw a train coming down and derrick say he'll run ahead to check first, but since it looked pretty far away and somehow it's downstairs. i waited for awhile and god knows why and how i jumped out of the window and onto the train, i zipped in by the window and i was astound by weird natives before my eyes.
by then the train'd started going & there's no sight of derrick at all.
GG....
i tried pleaded for the conductor to get me down, but outside i saw seas of blue and green.
probably no way to get down. It's a train from china, going to some countries for war. Would take 1 month before they return (when i can transfer). I'm dying inside but there's this strange girl in purple who told me to get used* to it.
what comes after is a month a epic drama which i don't seem to rmb. At least i rmb i ran in a bulletstorm.
and alas' i'm out.
>>> layer 2.
awoke up in some chalet like dormitory, it's early in the morning and some of our gangs are up.
some of us are brewing coffee and beverages, while others sat by the dining table talking and stuff.
i kinda overhead kunda recounting his experience and apparently we shared the same dream..
*phone calls*
it get's sorta fuzzy and it went back into semi conscious mode
>>> layer 2.5
happens after awhile, and this is super real.
i was closing my eyes, half asleep when i heard the door open, someone putting things down and all.
i thought it was adel, and i was literally beaming inside when i thought she came over and visit me. so after all that, i can feel someone climb onto the bed, lying next to me. i faintly open my eyes and saw a solitude but it all ends when i tried to hug her
was too seh to feel wtf but fuck this shit.
anws. i guess it's because we haven't met for ages.
it's still kinda vivid.
rest at home cos' had a day out yesterday.
so i just lay down at home, waking up at 2, and hoping for lunch.
didn't get my hopes up since it's 4 then, and i just ate chips and cookies waiting for dinner.
can't believe all happened in a span of 2 hours.
got so fucking tired that i missed the 6pm's music bank.
***
i always enjoy dreaming & somehow usually i'm in control to carry out actions & all and today's pretty much fresh
surreal feeling and in i went, it all started out in a classroom, where some guys and i planned an expedition out to some random country, train travelling's the in thing and we decided to travel by train and explore the gigantic plateau.
Somehow we know that it might be dangerous and all since there're people missing their rides, and got lost.
but travel agency always provide this "customer service" thingy, inwhich if you were to miss your ride, u can always get onto another ride, or u still can get back to your country. by flashing the proof of purchase card u're covered of all travelling expenses via train for the trip back home.
so there we go.
but there wasn't any concrete places where we stayed so it felt pretty weird still..
we travel to a variety of places, and i remembered london :D fanciful hotel doors and it's beautiful city-scape. it's more like a class trip, but happiness doesn't last long.
nightmare arises as soon as 5 of our mates got missing. *doing headcount and realises* but there's this system so we didn't worried.
stop at England or Britain where we went over to 7-11 for a 15 mins break.
get the drinks and stuff, and derrick and i sort of horse around by the counter.
and yes, we missed the train..
so we waited and waited..
saw a train coming down and derrick say he'll run ahead to check first, but since it looked pretty far away and somehow it's downstairs. i waited for awhile and god knows why and how i jumped out of the window and onto the train, i zipped in by the window and i was astound by weird natives before my eyes.
by then the train'd started going & there's no sight of derrick at all.
GG....
i tried pleaded for the conductor to get me down, but outside i saw seas of blue and green.
probably no way to get down. It's a train from china, going to some countries for war. Would take 1 month before they return (when i can transfer). I'm dying inside but there's this strange girl in purple who told me to get used* to it.
what comes after is a month a epic drama which i don't seem to rmb. At least i rmb i ran in a bulletstorm.
and alas' i'm out.
>>> layer 2.
awoke up in some chalet like dormitory, it's early in the morning and some of our gangs are up.
some of us are brewing coffee and beverages, while others sat by the dining table talking and stuff.
i kinda overhead kunda recounting his experience and apparently we shared the same dream..
*phone calls*
it get's sorta fuzzy and it went back into semi conscious mode
>>> layer 2.5
happens after awhile, and this is super real.
i was closing my eyes, half asleep when i heard the door open, someone putting things down and all.
i thought it was adel, and i was literally beaming inside when i thought she came over and visit me. so after all that, i can feel someone climb onto the bed, lying next to me. i faintly open my eyes and saw a solitude but it all ends when i tried to hug her
was too seh to feel wtf but fuck this shit.
anws. i guess it's because we haven't met for ages.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
helping hands
DREAM FACTori
this is a story of fiction.Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely
coincidental.
i'm recording this down as this is my dream of 12-Jan-2011.
yes. this is totally a dream.
ever had a dream that's so dramatic like it's a movie? when you're viewing this dream in a first person view and could make decisions and think and react as you would? like your reflexes are in your control? i had got'em afew times. But this time things got pretty nasty..
it all happened after..
wait let's change the names shall we? not nice to put real names. well you'll see~
okay, it all happened after my sec school years, ah yes.. that age that we can still afford to act punk and do thinks that're totally immature and say.. retarded.
so i'd got this clique of 7 members including me, 4 guys 3 girls (don't ask me why the guy get's left out ._.)
Malcolm, Xiang, Jack, Lynn, Sally & Pris
fyi: Lynn & i ish a couple worxz
things are fresh in the beginning and all a bunch of kidos that hang out pretty often and late. The starting of my dream is pretty much like a introduction, like where we're from and all, it's kinda "boring".
and i guess the timing of this is like 2006 or 2009? where zinc bags and cardi are like the in-thing * ._. i can vividly rmb Malcolm carrying a zinc back and Xiang a green tee from fresh box and Malcolm and i wears a cardi & jack is just an average joe who walk with a plain tee and a worn out jeans
and of cos, our girls are those normal everyday girls with shirt and hot pants. wew, one of them got really nice boobs (not mine T_T) and she wears a sling bag. *ah it's my dream after all eh ^_^
P.S. she's very log wor, go club let ppl grind one
& okay, i'm not really a bad boy in real life, but we sorta offended some gang of peeps, okay let's call him Jim & Gang. just a bunch of "care-leh-fare"
and of cos, things end with this "you better watch out" phrase.
i rmb this very clearly, i really swear.
lynn and i are together for quite a while & ya know how teens like to go one another place to do monkey business =x so there's once when we meet we're discussing about issues abt meeting her parents.
"siao dunwan la, your mother is female tiger leh"
"you scare say la"
*scratches head*
"k la, you hor, better take care of me leh, later i got any san chang liang duan how u jiao tai to my mother?"
"orh"
i didn't think anything big of what she say and i thought, "aiya wont la, how can anything happen?"
and yes, time flies and after a few repeat scenes of hang out came the date 24th Dec.
there's a christmas event going on at bugis and as a bunch of spontaneous* kids we went there to hang out and get a feel of the xmas atmosphere (:
i didn't really like the idea at first, but i gave in anyways. so we're having fun and all and we sorta wanted to went to the other side when everything happened in a flash.
Jim and Gang comes going at us with "par-langs"
(i think sg too much slashing le la, now i got nightmare siol T_T)
Jack saw it first thou and he signal us, we didn't got it at first as we're like separated from the crowded. Of cos, with an excellent visual aid of a gang of armed boys, i immediately could make out what jack's trying to say. ZHAO AH
i swear i was holding Lynn's hand. but T_T
ah fuck, why do we have to go to such crowded place in the first place. so we all begin running, i signal Lynn to run and i would contact her afterwards.
and WOW, i could jump the green railings infront of bugis junction
our adrenalin is pumping up and i only know that i'm just running straight. But despite this chaos, i'm not alone, i realise i'm running with Malcolm & Xiang with a bunch of dicks at my tail.
i swear this is the longest sprint i have in my dreams so far, (i dreamt of doing 1.6km in pri sch once, and i ended up walking and failing)
and so we ran, u know all teh way up, there's some HDB?
ah yes, we ran up till there. up the flight of stairs, all 3 of us taking 3 steps at a time, the numbers of dicks chasing us decrease upon the distance (i think they're nub) so it's 2 left when my flen could beat one of them up in a 1 on 1. i almost died when 1 of them wanted to attk me. and rim peh scream really loud :(
heng malcolm took him down from behind.
"nabeh, dont so ah gua leh, infront of Lynn act man only"
"u la, stand there rest, u also know i dunno how to fight one"
"k la, settle them liao we go find the rest first..."
so we went off.. i rmb kicking the guy who tried to kill me in his head and swears at him. "NABEH JI BAI, wan kill lim peh"
"k la, ah gua, go le la go le la" malcolm pulls me off before i can give him afew extra kicks.
somehow we make out of this shit unwounded and started calling peeps, i called Lynn, and since we said as brothers one of them must call Jack. can't believe those 2 fuckers starts arguing regarding this issue :(
Malcolm: "nabeh want call girl say la, cb" -dials Jack's no.-
Xiang: "hey Sally ah, where're you?"
what happened after that was crazy. i can't contact lynn. AT ALL. wtf, i thought smth is amiss.
*darn i thought those guys are gentlemen and they wont lay an finger on girls*
i was trying to redial when i received pris's call.
"eh, Lynn...Lynn..is..she..she..is dead!" her voice was hysterical over the phone and my mind was blank upon hearing her name. I can't put everything together and i wanted to talk to her, i can't believe it as it was too much for me to take, so i told her to meet outside burger king and kup her phone immediately.(it went smth like, cheebye la, you don't play okay? meet outside burger king then say)
as i went there, i could see Jack sitting down, Sally and Pris hugging each other, crying...i questioned them immediately and..
"Lynn was dead..really.. she's taken by Jim & gang and i saw her getting.."
okay enough...
maybe she haven die leh? now how..?
i didn't dare to called the police, i really believe she isn't dead. but they say that she were.
...
i keep telling myself no way things could happen in such a way and tried my best to comfort myself then.
"SIAO LIAO LA, CHEE BYE. say wan last forever one, 5 years only game over liao. lim peh haven die she die liao"
i just rmbed i kept swearing and nobody stops me.
we went to wait for the bus when there's this uncle who label us as pai kia and started to nag at us.
my mind was boiling with anger then, and yes lots of parents always thinks that kids that hang out late = pk
i don't mind that actually but..
for once, in my dreams i can't help but felt disgusted for being associated with htem on the same level. i started swearing and stating our difference and ~
skipped the boring parts* i go on untile i broke down and cried, and after all the consoling the bus came...
minus -1 they all sat in pair while Jack sat alone in the middle and i went right to the back and sat right down, looking out of the window. as the bus was leaving, i saw the same road junction again. the one outside bugis junction. we're together just now, afew hours before. and i'd lost her forever now.
i felt really lost, and believe me the feelings is so surreal even thou i know it's a dream. i can't afford to lost her in my dreams T_T
it hit me real hard and for once i felt how it's like to lost your loved once. it's not only about the loss. i felt at loss to, the lost of direction, the lost of motivation to live on, to carry on like how i use to.
i broke down, and starts crying, took up my iphone and dialed her no.
her picture pops up immediately (i add pic to contact)
and i hold my phones close to my ears, started to say sorry as tears streamed down my eyes. i know she's not going to pick up anyways, but i just wanted to tell her how sorry i were. how regretful i was and how much i wish to take care of her for the rest of my life.
"hey...hey!" i wasn't aware that she picked up the phone and starts to call out to me real loud and i jolted back to my sense as i heard her voice. WTF? what happened?
"uhm..hello *trembles* are you dead..?"
"dead your head! say wan take care of me still never hold my hand properly.."
"i'm sorry, i'm sorry!"
"where're you?" i asked.
"at home lor..."
"i go find you now..?"
"uhm can let me rest awhile? i'm tired.."
"tomorrow..?"
"will do (:"
"hey.."
"yea?"
"is it true that you say you love me and will take care of me forever?"
"haha why ask leh? i started smiling despite tearing like crazy still.
"no la, ask only. so i'll see you tomorrow okay? wanan laogong muacks woaini"
"same to you too. i love you laopo" (i didn't say muacks cos i hate to do that in pub transport :3
i broke the news to the rest and they're relief..
...
*my memeries are rather vague since it'd been like half a day this happens and, somethings just slips off my mind*
but i can never forget what she's wearing after that, so dawn is approaching after i went to find her, went to her room where she was, i knocked and opened the door. she's sitting and eating porridge, all dressed up with a light blue hoodie jacket and a skirt. she's pale and she didn't moved at all..
"Bi, u sure you okay anot?"
we kinda start off with a conv and i started to notice things are really amiss until i started to pull up her skirt :x and saw wounds and bruise all around her limbs. i hold only both of her hands and said angrily. do you think this is okay?!
what came after was a total...
i hold both of her hands, but my left hand felt nothing...
guess what i saw when i looked down...
her right hand is missing.
*i told myself this is too much and i wanted to wake up* but it still won't i closed my eyes and cried.
"it's alright, she said stroking me with her left arm...
"you sure you would still want me like that?"
"Yes, i hugged her so damn hard that i think her eyes were popping out behind me and i said yes uncountable times"
"i'd lost you once, and i don't wanna lose you again.."
well i'm not sure if this is the VERY end. but for me, when i'm dreaming, i could hear signals for me to wake up. like calling of my name, motion, or alarms, or even sounds that i'm familiar with, such examples are my msg tone.
YES, my iphone msg tone played, and i opened my eyes without hesitation. i'm lying and hugging my bolster, panting, with my eyes wide open, with a slight headache...
and i went on and look at my phone.
ahh Adel <3
you saved me ^_^
*names are all fictional
this is a story of fiction.Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely
coincidental.
i'm recording this down as this is my dream of 12-Jan-2011.
yes. this is totally a dream.
ever had a dream that's so dramatic like it's a movie? when you're viewing this dream in a first person view and could make decisions and think and react as you would? like your reflexes are in your control? i had got'em afew times. But this time things got pretty nasty..
it all happened after..
wait let's change the names shall we? not nice to put real names. well you'll see~
okay, it all happened after my sec school years, ah yes.. that age that we can still afford to act punk and do thinks that're totally immature and say.. retarded.
so i'd got this clique of 7 members including me, 4 guys 3 girls (don't ask me why the guy get's left out ._.)
Malcolm, Xiang, Jack, Lynn, Sally & Pris
fyi: Lynn & i ish a couple worxz
things are fresh in the beginning and all a bunch of kidos that hang out pretty often and late. The starting of my dream is pretty much like a introduction, like where we're from and all, it's kinda "boring".
and i guess the timing of this is like 2006 or 2009? where zinc bags and cardi are like the in-thing * ._. i can vividly rmb Malcolm carrying a zinc back and Xiang a green tee from fresh box and Malcolm and i wears a cardi & jack is just an average joe who walk with a plain tee and a worn out jeans
and of cos, our girls are those normal everyday girls with shirt and hot pants. wew, one of them got really nice boobs (not mine T_T) and she wears a sling bag. *ah it's my dream after all eh ^_^
P.S. she's very log wor, go club let ppl grind one
& okay, i'm not really a bad boy in real life, but we sorta offended some gang of peeps, okay let's call him Jim & Gang. just a bunch of "care-leh-fare"
and of cos, things end with this "you better watch out" phrase.
i rmb this very clearly, i really swear.
lynn and i are together for quite a while & ya know how teens like to go one another place to do monkey business =x so there's once when we meet we're discussing about issues abt meeting her parents.
"siao dunwan la, your mother is female tiger leh"
"you scare say la"
*scratches head*
"k la, you hor, better take care of me leh, later i got any san chang liang duan how u jiao tai to my mother?"
"orh"
i didn't think anything big of what she say and i thought, "aiya wont la, how can anything happen?"
and yes, time flies and after a few repeat scenes of hang out came the date 24th Dec.
there's a christmas event going on at bugis and as a bunch of spontaneous* kids we went there to hang out and get a feel of the xmas atmosphere (:
i didn't really like the idea at first, but i gave in anyways. so we're having fun and all and we sorta wanted to went to the other side when everything happened in a flash.
Jim and Gang comes going at us with "par-langs"
(i think sg too much slashing le la, now i got nightmare siol T_T)
Jack saw it first thou and he signal us, we didn't got it at first as we're like separated from the crowded. Of cos, with an excellent visual aid of a gang of armed boys, i immediately could make out what jack's trying to say. ZHAO AH
i swear i was holding Lynn's hand. but T_T
ah fuck, why do we have to go to such crowded place in the first place. so we all begin running, i signal Lynn to run and i would contact her afterwards.
and WOW, i could jump the green railings infront of bugis junction
our adrenalin is pumping up and i only know that i'm just running straight. But despite this chaos, i'm not alone, i realise i'm running with Malcolm & Xiang with a bunch of dicks at my tail.
i swear this is the longest sprint i have in my dreams so far, (i dreamt of doing 1.6km in pri sch once, and i ended up walking and failing)
and so we ran, u know all teh way up, there's some HDB?
ah yes, we ran up till there. up the flight of stairs, all 3 of us taking 3 steps at a time, the numbers of dicks chasing us decrease upon the distance (i think they're nub) so it's 2 left when my flen could beat one of them up in a 1 on 1. i almost died when 1 of them wanted to attk me. and rim peh scream really loud :(
heng malcolm took him down from behind.
"nabeh, dont so ah gua leh, infront of Lynn act man only"
"u la, stand there rest, u also know i dunno how to fight one"
"k la, settle them liao we go find the rest first..."
so we went off.. i rmb kicking the guy who tried to kill me in his head and swears at him. "NABEH JI BAI, wan kill lim peh"
"k la, ah gua, go le la go le la" malcolm pulls me off before i can give him afew extra kicks.
somehow we make out of this shit unwounded and started calling peeps, i called Lynn, and since we said as brothers one of them must call Jack. can't believe those 2 fuckers starts arguing regarding this issue :(
Malcolm: "nabeh want call girl say la, cb" -dials Jack's no.-
Xiang: "hey Sally ah, where're you?"
what happened after that was crazy. i can't contact lynn. AT ALL. wtf, i thought smth is amiss.
*darn i thought those guys are gentlemen and they wont lay an finger on girls*
i was trying to redial when i received pris's call.
"eh, Lynn...Lynn..is..she..she..is dead!" her voice was hysterical over the phone and my mind was blank upon hearing her name. I can't put everything together and i wanted to talk to her, i can't believe it as it was too much for me to take, so i told her to meet outside burger king and kup her phone immediately.(it went smth like, cheebye la, you don't play okay? meet outside burger king then say)
as i went there, i could see Jack sitting down, Sally and Pris hugging each other, crying...i questioned them immediately and..
"Lynn was dead..really.. she's taken by Jim & gang and i saw her getting.."
okay enough...
maybe she haven die leh? now how..?
i didn't dare to called the police, i really believe she isn't dead. but they say that she were.
...
i keep telling myself no way things could happen in such a way and tried my best to comfort myself then.
"SIAO LIAO LA, CHEE BYE. say wan last forever one, 5 years only game over liao. lim peh haven die she die liao"
i just rmbed i kept swearing and nobody stops me.
we went to wait for the bus when there's this uncle who label us as pai kia and started to nag at us.
my mind was boiling with anger then, and yes lots of parents always thinks that kids that hang out late = pk
i don't mind that actually but..
for once, in my dreams i can't help but felt disgusted for being associated with htem on the same level. i started swearing and stating our difference and ~
skipped the boring parts* i go on untile i broke down and cried, and after all the consoling the bus came...
minus -1 they all sat in pair while Jack sat alone in the middle and i went right to the back and sat right down, looking out of the window. as the bus was leaving, i saw the same road junction again. the one outside bugis junction. we're together just now, afew hours before. and i'd lost her forever now.
i felt really lost, and believe me the feelings is so surreal even thou i know it's a dream. i can't afford to lost her in my dreams T_T
it hit me real hard and for once i felt how it's like to lost your loved once. it's not only about the loss. i felt at loss to, the lost of direction, the lost of motivation to live on, to carry on like how i use to.
i broke down, and starts crying, took up my iphone and dialed her no.
her picture pops up immediately (i add pic to contact)
and i hold my phones close to my ears, started to say sorry as tears streamed down my eyes. i know she's not going to pick up anyways, but i just wanted to tell her how sorry i were. how regretful i was and how much i wish to take care of her for the rest of my life.
"hey...hey!" i wasn't aware that she picked up the phone and starts to call out to me real loud and i jolted back to my sense as i heard her voice. WTF? what happened?
"uhm..hello *trembles* are you dead..?"
"dead your head! say wan take care of me still never hold my hand properly.."
"i'm sorry, i'm sorry!"
"where're you?" i asked.
"at home lor..."
"i go find you now..?"
"uhm can let me rest awhile? i'm tired.."
"tomorrow..?"
"will do (:"
"hey.."
"yea?"
"is it true that you say you love me and will take care of me forever?"
"haha why ask leh? i started smiling despite tearing like crazy still.
"no la, ask only. so i'll see you tomorrow okay? wanan laogong muacks woaini"
"same to you too. i love you laopo" (i didn't say muacks cos i hate to do that in pub transport :3
i broke the news to the rest and they're relief..
...
*my memeries are rather vague since it'd been like half a day this happens and, somethings just slips off my mind*
but i can never forget what she's wearing after that, so dawn is approaching after i went to find her, went to her room where she was, i knocked and opened the door. she's sitting and eating porridge, all dressed up with a light blue hoodie jacket and a skirt. she's pale and she didn't moved at all..
"Bi, u sure you okay anot?"
we kinda start off with a conv and i started to notice things are really amiss until i started to pull up her skirt :x and saw wounds and bruise all around her limbs. i hold only both of her hands and said angrily. do you think this is okay?!
what came after was a total...
i hold both of her hands, but my left hand felt nothing...
guess what i saw when i looked down...
her right hand is missing.
*i told myself this is too much and i wanted to wake up* but it still won't i closed my eyes and cried.
"it's alright, she said stroking me with her left arm...
"you sure you would still want me like that?"
"Yes, i hugged her so damn hard that i think her eyes were popping out behind me and i said yes uncountable times"
"i'd lost you once, and i don't wanna lose you again.."
well i'm not sure if this is the VERY end. but for me, when i'm dreaming, i could hear signals for me to wake up. like calling of my name, motion, or alarms, or even sounds that i'm familiar with, such examples are my msg tone.
YES, my iphone msg tone played, and i opened my eyes without hesitation. i'm lying and hugging my bolster, panting, with my eyes wide open, with a slight headache...
and i went on and look at my phone.
ahh Adel <3
you saved me ^_^
*names are all fictional
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