Showing posts with label quote. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quote. Show all posts

Monday, April 7, 2014

The 150 Bro Codes


[decided to do a complete compilation of the legit & 150 legendary bro code from "how i met your mother"]

1) Bros before hoes.
The bond between two men is stronger than that between a man and a woman because on an average, men are stronger than women. That’s just science.

2) A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid as long as the rest of his Bros are all doing it.
Eg. If only one Spanish dude were to run down the street in front of a bunch of angry bulls, people would have been like "Dude, come on!!". The license to be stupid is why we have Bros in the first place.

3) If a Bro gets a dog, it must be at least as tall as his knee when full grown.
Corollary: naming a lap-dog after a pro wrestler or a character from a Steve McQueen movie does not absolve a Bro from this article.

4) A Bro never divulges the existence of the Bro code to a woman. It is a sacred document not to be shared with chicks for any reason...no, not even that reason.

NOTE: If you are a woman reading this, first let me apologize: it was never my intention for this book to contain so much math. Second, I urge you to look at this document for what it is a piece of fiction meant to entertain a Broad audience through the prism of stereotypical gender differences. I mean, sometimes it really is like we're from different planets! Clearly, no real person would actually believe or adhere to the vulgar rules contained within.* Those boots are adorable, b-t-dub.

5) Whether he cares about sports or not, a Bro cares about sports.

6) A Bro shall not lollygag if he must get naked in front of other Bros in a gym locker room.
Corollary: if a Bro gets naked in the locker room, all other Bros shall pretend that nothing out of the ordinary is happening while at the same time immediately averting their eyes. When in doubt, remember the old adage. If your towel drops to the ground, so should your eyes.

7) A Bro never admits he can’t drive stick. Even after an accident.

8) A Bro never sends a greeting card to another Bro.
There are no sentiments between two Bros that cannot be articulated through the convenience and emotional distance of electronic mail.

9) Should a Bro lose a body part due to an accident or illness, his fellow Bros will not make lame jokes such as "Gimme three" or "Wow!! Quitting your job like that really took a lot of ball!!" It’s still a hi-five and that Bro still has a lot of balls, metaphorically speaking of course.

10) A Bro will drop whatever he is doing and rush to help his Bro dump a chick.
It’s normal for a Bro to get confused and disoriented when dumping a chick. For some reason he is worried she will become agitated or even violent after he calmly explains his desire to hook up with her friends. This is when a Bro most needs his Bro to remind him that there are plenty of chick in the ocean and that a breakup need not be hazardous, stressful or even time- consuming.

How to dump an chick in 6 words or less...

“Maybe try a side salad instead."
“Cute!! You ‘re growing a moustache too!!"
“She looks like a younger you!!"
“I will finance a boob job."
“Sorry I threw your shoes out."
“Your sister let me do that!!"

11) A Bro may ask another Bro(s) to help him move. But only after first disclosing an honest estimate on both time commitment and number of large furniture pieces. If the Bro has vastly underestimated, either his Bros retain the right to leave his possessions where they are- in most cases stuck in a doorway.

12) Bros do not share dessert.

13) All Bros shall dub one of their Bros his wingman.

14) If a chick enquires about another Bros’ sexual history, a Bro shall honor the Br-ode of silence and play dumb. Better to have women think that all men are stupid than to tell the truth.

15) A Bro never dances with his hands above his head.

16) A Bro should be able to recite anytime the following reigning champions: Super bowl, World series and Play Mate of the year.

17) A Bro shall be kind and courteous to his co-workers, unless they are beneath him on the pyramid of screaming.
You just can’t scream at anybody. You can only scream beneath you.

18) If a Bro spearheads a beer run at a party, he is entitled to any excess monies accrued after canvassing the group.

19) A Bro shall not sleep with another Bro’s sister. However, a Bro shall not get angry if another Bro says "Dude, your sister’s hot!!".
Corollary: it is probably better for everyone if Bros just hide pictures of their sisters when other Bros are coming over.

20) A Bro respects his Bros in the military because they've selflessly chosen to defend the nation, but more to the point, because they can kick his ass six ways to Sunday.

21) A Bro never shares observations about another Bro's smoking-hot girlfriend. Even if the Bro with the hot girlfriend attempts to bait the Bro by saying "she's smoking-hot, huh?" a Bro shall remain silent, because in this situation, he's the only one who should be baiting.

22) There is no law that prohibits a woman from being a Bro.
Women make excellent Bros because they can translate and navigate the confusing and contradictory whims that comprise the Chick Code.

23) When flipping through TV channels with his Bros, a Bro is not allowed to skip past a program featuring boobs. This includes but is not limited to, exercise shows, women's athletics, and on some occasions surgery programs.

24) When wearing a baseball cap, a Bro may position the brim at either 12 or 6 o'clock. All other angles are reserved for rappers and the handicapped.

25) A Bro doesn't let another Bro get a tattoo, particularly a tattoo of a girls name.
The average relationship between a man and a woman lasts 83 days. The relationship between man and his skin lasts a life time and must be nurtured because the skin is the largest and second most important organ a man has.

26) Unless he has children, a Bro shall not wear his cell phone on a belt clip.

27) A Bro never removes his shirt in front of other Bros, unless at a resort pool or the beach.
Corollary: a Bro with a coat of fur on his back, keeps that thing covered at all times even at resort, pool or beach. Sorry, Bro

28) A Bro will, in a timely manner, alert his Bro to the existence of a girl fight.
A Bro will, in a timely manner, alert his Bro to the existence of a fight between two fellow human beings of the female variety. If an informed Bro is unable to witness the fight first hand, a spotter Bro is responsible for documenting and relating details of girl fight via pictures, video or, barring any other reasonable method, interpretive dance and/or pantomime.

29) If two Bros decide to catch a movie together, they may not attend a screening that begins after 4:40 pm. Also despite the cost savings, they shall not split a tub of popcorn, choosing instead to procure individual bags.

30) A Bro doesn't comparison shop.

31) When on the prowl, a Bro hits on the hottest chick first because you just never know.

32) A Bro doesn't allow another Bro to get married until he's at least thirty.

33) When in a public restroom, a Bro (1) stares straight ahead when using the urinal; (2) makes the obligatory comment, "What is this, a chicks' restroom?" if there are more than two dudes waiting to pee; and (3) attempts to basketball toss his used paper towel into the trash can like a basketball...rebounding is optional.

34) Bros cannot make eye-contact during a Devil's Three-way.

35) A Bro never rents a chick flick.

36) When questioned in the company of women, a Bro always decries fake breasts.

37) A Bro is under no obligation to open a door for anyone. If women insist on having their own professional basketball league, then they can open their own doors. Honestly they're not that heavy.

38) Even in a fight to the death a Bro never punches another Bro in the groin.

39) When a Bro gets a chicks number, he waits at least ninety-six hours before calling her.
The reason is Bro-flation. An unreasonable increase in female expectations about how Bros should act. You call a woman the next day, she tells her friends that you called the next day, and soon enough, women everywhere will expect guys to call them the next day. Before you know it, Bros the world over will find themselves trapped in relationships and all because you couldn't wait 96 little hours.

40) Should a Bro become stricken with engagement, his Bros shall stage an intervention and attempt to heal him. This is more commonly known as "a bachelor party."

41) A Bro never cries.
Exceptions- Watching Field of Dreams, ET or a sports legend retire.

42) Upon greeting another Bro, a Bro may engage in a high five, fist bump, or a Bro hug, but never a full embrace.

43) A Bro loves his country, unless that country isn't America.

44) A Bro never applies sunscreen to another Bro.
Exceptions – If the Bros are within 7 degrees latitude of the equator.

45) A Bro never wears jeans to a strip club/lupsup KTV
a) Cloth pockets are roomier and elastic allowing for a thicker wad of cash.
b) Denim clashes with the club’s leopard, zebra or other safari animal motif.
c) One word, two syllables, three hours in the ER – Zipper.
d) It’s a performance and deserves respect.
e) You don’t feel it as much on your kazoo

46) If a Bro is seated next to some dude who's stuck in the middle seat on an airplane, he shall yield him all of their shared armrest, unless the dude has (a) taken his shoes off, (b) is snoring, (c) makes the Bro get up more than once to use the lavatory, or (d) purchased headphones after they announced the in-flight movie is 27 Dresses. See Article 35.

47) A Bro never wears pink. Not even in Europe.

48) A Bro never publicly reveals how many chicks he's banged.
Corollary: A Bro also never reveals how many chicks another Bro has banged.

49) When asked, "Do you need some help?" a Bro shall automatically respond, "I got it," whether or not he's actually got it.
Exceptions: Carrying an expensive TV, parallel parking an expensive car and loading an expensive TV on to an expensive car.

50) If a Bro should accidentally strike another Bro's undercarriage with his arm while walking, both Bros silently agree to continue on as if it never happened.

51) A Bro checks out another Bro's blind date and reports back with a thumbs-up or thumbs-down.

52) A Bro is not required to remember another Bros birthday, though a phone call every now and again probably wouldn't kill him.

53) Even in a drought, a Bro flushes twice.

54) A Bro is required to go out with his Bros on St. Paddy's Day and other official Bro holidays, including Halloween, New Year's Eve, and Desperation Day (February 13th)

55) Even in an emergency that requires a tourniquet, a Bro never borrows from or lends clothes to another Bro.

56) A Bro is required to alert another Bro if the Bro/chick Ration at a party falls below 1:1. However, to avoid Bro-flation, a Bro is only allowed to alert one Bro. Further, a Bro may not speculate on the anticipated Bro/Chick Ratio of a party or venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ratio.

57) A Bro never reveals the score of a sporting event to another Bro unless that Bro has thrice confirmed he wants to hear it.

58) A Bro doesn't grow a mustache.
Exception: While shaving it’s more than ok for a Bro to keep the whiskers around his mouth till the end so that he might temporarily experiment with different facial hair configurations.

59) A Bro must always post bail for another Bro, unless it's out of state or, like, crazy expensive
(Crazy expensive bail >(years you've been Bros) x $100)

60) A Bro shall honor they father and mother, for they were once Bro and chick. However, a Bro never thinks of them in that capacity.

61) If a Bro for whatever reason becomes aware of another Bro's anniversary with a chick, he shall endeavor to make that information available to his Bro, regardless of whether he thinks his Bro already knows.

62) In the event that two Bros lock on to the same target, the Bro who calls dibs first has dibs. If both call dibs at the same time, the Bro who counts aloud to ten the fastest has dibs. If both arrive at the number ten at the same time, the Bro who bought the last round of drinks has dibs. If they haven't purchased drinks yet, the taller of the two Bros has dibs. If they're the same height, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. Should the dry spells be of equal length, a game of discreet Broshambo* shall determine dibs, provided the chick is still there.
*rock, paper, scissors for Bros

63) A Bro will make any and all efforts to provide his Bro with protection.
Bro-tection forms a central pillar or, more accurately, a plastic coating for the central pillar of the Bro way of life.
While not legally or physically responsible for any repercussions of failing to provide protection, it’s not uncommon for a Bro to experience pangs of guilt after a fellow Bro becomes infected with a disease. Some of which, such as children, can last an entire lifetime.

64) A Bro must provide his Bro with a ticket to an event if said event involves the second Bro's favorite sports team in a playoff scenario.

65) A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drinks among Bros.
Exception: A Bro is off the hook if a Bro orders a drink with an umbrella in it.

66) If a Bro suffers pain due to the permanent dissolution of a relationship with a lady friend, a Bro shall offer nothing more than a 'that sucks, man' and copious quantities of beer. A Bro will also refrain from pejorative commentary - deserved or not - regarding said lady friend for a period of three months, when the requisite backslide window has fully closed.

67) Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing, another Bro shall point out that he is a tool.

68) If a Bro be on hot streak, another Bro will do everything possible to ensure its longevity, even if that includes jeopardizing his own records, the missing of work, or, if necessary, generating a realistic fear that the end of the world is imminent.
Exception: Dry spell trumps hot streak.

69) Duh.

70) A Bro will drive another Bro to the airport or pick him up, but never both for the same trip. He is not expected to be on time, help with luggage, or inquire about his Bro's trip or general well-being.

71) As a courtesy to Bros the world over, a Bro never brings more than two other Bros to a party.

Three Bros are cool
- Three amigos, Three musketeers, The police, Apollo 13 Astronauts and the Three stooges.
Four Bros are lame
– Mount Rushmore, The Fantastic Four, The Monkeys and Michael Jordan’s team mates.

72) A Bro never spell-checks.

73) When a group of Bros are in a restaurant, each shall engage in the time-honored ritual of jockeying to pay the bill, regardless of affordability. When the group ultimately decides to divide the check, each Bro shall act upset rather that enormously relieved.

74) At a red light, a Bro inches as close as possible to the rear bumper of the car in front of him, and then immediately honks his horn when the light turns green. That way if another Bro is several cars behind, he'll have a better chance of making it through the intersection before the light turns red again.

75) A Bro automatically enhances another Bro's job description when introducing him to a chick.
Chicks like to stretch the truth about their age, promiscuity and sometimes, with the help of extensive make-up and structural lingerie, even their body shape. As such, it is a fair game for Bros to exaggerate reality when asked about their Bro-fession.

76) If a Bro is on the phone with a chick while in front of his Bros and, for whatever reason, desires to say "I love you" he shall first excuse himself from the room or employ a subsonic barry white-esque tone.

77) Bros don't cuddle.

78) A Bro shall never rack jack his wingman. Rack jack is to steal your wingman’s chick.
To commemorate and solidify the unbreakable bond between the Bro and his wingman, it is recommended that before going out, each face the other, place his left hand on the Bro code, raise his right hand, and recite the wingman pledge.

79) At a wedding, Bros shall reluctantly trudge out for the garter toss and feign interest for the benefit of the chicks present. Whichever Bro gets stuck with the garter shall light-heartedly pretend he's not mortified at the thought of being the next one to drop before scurrying to the bar for a very stiff drink and/or shots.

80) A Bro shall make every effort to aid another Bro in riding the tricycle (engaging in a threesome), short of completing the tricycle himself.
The total age of all the three should be less than 83.

81) A Bro leaves the toilet seat up for his Bros.

82) If two Bros get into a heated argument over something and one says something out of line, the other shall not expect him to take it back or apologize to make amends. That's inhuman.

83) A Bro shall, at all costs, honor the Platinum Rule: Never, ever, ever, ever " love" thy neighbor. In particular, a Bro shall never mix it up romantically with a co-worker.
Exceptions
- Coworker is an 8 or better,
- You are co-worker's superior
- coworker dresses a little slutty
- company recently sued for sexual harassment
- someone makes a bet that you can’t
- you are switching floors soon
- you and coworker get stuck in elevator
- coworker soon to be fired
- coworker hits on you
- coworker going through divorce
- coworker not offended when you "accidentally" email provocative self pictures to office.

84) Bro shall stop whatever he's doing and watch Die Hard if it's on TV.
Corollary: And porn. Duh

85) If a Bro buys a new car, he is required to pop the hood when showing it off to his Bros.
Corollary: His Bros are required to whistle, even if they don’t know what they are whistling at.

86) When a Bro meets a chick he shall endeavor to find out where she fits on the Hot/Crazy Scale before pursuing her.

87) A Bro never questions another Bro's stated golf score, maximum bench press, or height. He can however, ask the Bro to prove it, traditionally in the form of a wager.

88) If a Bro, for whatever reason must drive another Bro's car, he shall not adjust the reprogrammed radio stations, the mirrors, or the seat position, even if this last requirement results in the Bro trying to drive the vehicle as a giant praying mantis would.

89) A Bro shall always say yes in support of a Bro.

90) A Bro shows up at another Bro's party with at least one more unit of alcohol than he plans to drink. So if a Bro plans on chugging a six pack, he shall bring a six pack plus at least one can of beer. If the party sucks and/or there are too many dudes, the Bro is entitled to leave with his alcohol, though etiquette dictates he should wait until nobody is looking.

91) If a group of Bros suspect that their Bro is trying to give himself a nickname, they shall rally to call him by an adjacent yet more demeaning nickname.

92) A Bro keeps his booty calls at a safe distance.

93) Bros don't speak French to one another.

94) If a Bro is in the bathroom and runs out of toilet paper, another Bro may toss him a new roll, but at no point may their hands touch or the door open more than 30 degrees.

95) A Bro shall alert another Bro to the presence of a chesty woman regardless of whether or not he knows the Bro. Such alerts may not be administered verbally.
- The shoes tap
- The eye redirect
- The swift shin kick (D cups and up only, please)
- calling out guys guys guys (repeat till Bro notice chick)

96) Bros shall go camping once a year, or at least attempt to start a fire.

97) Where a Bro went to college is going to kick his Bro's college's ass all over the field this weekend.

98) A Bro never lies to his Bros about the hotness of chicks at a given social venue or event.

99) A Bro never asks for directions when lost.
Exception: A Bro may as for directions for a hot chick who seems to know the area.
A Bro may ask for directions from a hot chick even if she also appears lost.
A Bro may ask for directions from a hot chick even if he himself is not lost at all.

100) When pulling up to a stoplight, a Bro lowers his window so that all might enjoy his music selection.
Corollary: If there happens to be a hot chick driving the car next to the Bro, the Bro shall pull his sunglasses down to get a better look. If he's not wearing his sunglasses, he will first put them on, then pull them down to get a better look.

101) If a Bro asks another Bro to keep a secret, he shall take that secret to his grave and beyond if the Bro discovers there is indeed life after death. This is what makes them Bros, not chicks.

102) A Bro shall take great care in selecting and training his wingman.

103) A Bro never wears socks with sandals. He commits to one cohesive footgear plan and sticks with it.

104) The mom of a Bro is always off-limits. But the stepmom of a Bro is fair game if she initiates and /or is wearing at least one article of leopard print clothing...provided she looks good in it...but not if she smokes menthol cigarettes.

105) If a Bro is not invited to another Bro's wedding, he doesn't make a big deal out of it, even if, let's face it, he was kind of responsible for setting up the couple and had already picked out the perfect wedding gift and everything. It’s cool. No big whoop.

106) Given an option on quantity when ordering a beer with his Bros, a Bro always selects the largest size available or shall never hear the end of it that night.

107) A Bro never leaves another Bro hanging.

108) If a Bro forgets a guy's name he may call him "brah","dude", or "man" but never "Bro".

109) When Bros attend a sporting event and see themselves on the JumboTron, they shall purse their lips and flex their biceps while informing the crowd that their team is number one, despite any objective rankings to the contrary.

110) If a Bro is hitting it off with a chick, his Bro shall do anything within his means to ensure the desired outcome.

111) If a Bro discovers another Bro has forgotten to sign out of his email the Bro will sign out for him, but only after first sending a few angry emails to random contacts and then deleting all sent messages.

112) A Bro doesn't sing along to music in a bar.
Exception: A Bro may participate in karaoke.
Exception to exception: No chick songs.

113) A Bro abides by the accepted age-difference formula when pursuing a young chick
Acceptable age difference formula: Chick's age = (Guy's age divided by 2) + 7

114) If a Bro must crash on his Bro's couch for an extended period of time, he shall offer to split the cost of toilet paper and the cable bill if said period exceeds two weeks. If he stays longer than a month, he shall offer to contribute some rent. If he stays longer than two months, he shall steam clean the couch or have it incinerated, whichever is more applicable.

115) A "clothing optional" beach doesn't really mean "clothing optional" for Bros.

116) A Bro shall not kill another Bro or that Bros’ chances to score with a chick.

117) A Bro never willingly relinquishes possession of a remote control. If another Bro desires a channel change, he may verbally request one or engage in the fools errand of getting up to manually change the channel.
Corollary – It is fully expected that a Bro will try anything to gain possession of the remote, up to and including an attempt to flatulently smoke his Bro(s) out of the room.

118) When a Bro is with his Bros, he is not a vegetarian.

119) When three Bros must share the backseat of a car, it is unacceptable for any Bro to put his arm around another Bro to increase space. Likewise, it is unacceptable for two Bros to share a motorcycle, unless said motorcycle is equipped with a sidecar...a Brotorcycle.

120) A Bro always calls another Bro by his last name.

121) Even if he's never skied before, a Bro doesn't trifle with the bunny slope.
Corollary: If a Bro experiences a catastrophic wipeout, he can always blame his bindings or the "conditions".

122) A Bro is always psyched. Always.

123) Two Bros shall maintain at least a three-foot radius between them while dancing on the same floor, even when reenacting the knife fight from "Beat It" which, I guess, two Bros shouldn't do anyway, or at least not very often.

124) If a Bro should shoot an air ball, strike out while playing softball, or throw a gutter ball while Browling, he is required to make some sort of excuse for himself.

125) If a Bro is driving ahead of another Bro in a Bro Train, he is required to attempt to lose him in traffic as a funny joke.

126) In a scenario where two or more Bros are watching entertainment of the adult variety, one Bro is forbidden from intentionally or unintentionally touching another Bro in ANY capacity. This may include but is not limited to: the high five, the fist bump or the congratulatory gluteal pat. Winking is also kind of a no-no.

127) A Bro will always help another Bro reconstruct the events from the previous night, unless those events entail hooking up with an ugly chick or the Bro repeatedly saying "I love you, man" to all his Bros.

128) A Bro never wears two articles of clothing at the same time that bear the same school name, vacation destination or sports team. Even in a laundry emergency, its preferred that a Bro go out half naked rather than violate this code...half naked from the waist up, naturally.

129) If a Bro lends another Bro a DVD, video game, or piece of lawn machinery, he shall not expect to ever get it back, unless his Bro happens to die and bequeath it back to him.

130) If a Bro learns another Bro has been in a traffic accident, he must first ask what type of car he collided with and whether it got totaled before asking if his Bro is okay.

131) While a Bro is not expected to know exactly how to change a tire, he is required to at least drag out the jack and stare at the flat for a while. If he needs to consult the car's ownership manual to locate the jack, he shall do so from inside the car, where he is not visible to passersby and where he can discreetly call a tow truck, after which it is recommended that he hide the jack by the side of the road so he'll have a legitimate excuse when the tow truck arrives.

132) If a Bro decides to let all of his Bros down and get married, he is required to invite them to the wedding, even if this directly violates the wishes of his fiancée and results in a "no sex" penalty or whatever lame domestic punishment couples might employ.

133) A Bro only claims a fart after first accusing at least one other Bro.
Exception – Pull my finger.

134) A Bro is entitled to use a woman as his wingman.

135) If a scenario arises in which a Bro has promised two of his Bros permanent shotgun, one of the following shall determine the copilot: (1) foot race to the car, (2) silent auction or in the case of a road trip exceeding 450 miles, (3) a no-holds-barred cage match to the death.

136) When interrogated by a girlfriend about a bachelor party, a Bro shall offer nothing more than a disinterested "It was okay".
Corollary: A Bro can never bring a camera back from a bachelor party. The only memento a Bro is allowed to bring back is something that can be destroyed by penicillin.

137) When hosting, a Bro orders enough pizza for all his Bros.
Equation: no. of pizzas = [3 x (number of Bros + yourself)]/8

138) A real Bro doesn't laugh when a guy gets hit in the groin.
Exception: Unless he doesn't know the guy.

139) Regardless of veracity, a Bro never admits familiarity with a Broadway show or musical, despite the fact that, yes, "Broadway" begins with "Bro".

140) A Bro reserves the right to simply walk away during the first five minutes of a date.
(Lemon Law).

141) A Bro can only get a manicure if (a) he's trying to sleep with the hot Asian woman performing the manicure, or (b) its been longer than a month since his last manicure. Its called the Bro Code, not the slob Code.

142) A Bro shall seek no revenge if he passes out around his Bros and wakes up to find marker all over his face.

143) When executing a high five a Bro is forbidden from intertwining fingers or grasping his Bro's hand.

144) It is unacceptable for two Bros to share a hotel bed without first exhausting all couch, cot, and pillows-on-floor combinations. If it's still unavoidable, they shall prevent any incidental spoonage by arm wresting to determine who sleeps under the covers. Once decided each Bro shall don as many lower layers as possible before silently fist bumping the other good night.

145) A Bro is never offended if another Bro fails to return a phone call, text or email in a timely fashion.

146) A Bro refrains from using too much detail when relating sexual exploits to his Bros.
Providing graphic detail unconsciously forces your Bros to picture you naked and there is no coming back from that.

147) If a Bro sees another Bro get into a fight, he immediately has his Bro's back.
Exception:
- If his Bro has picked a fight with a scary looking guy.
- If this is the third fight (or more) his Bro has gotten into that week.
- If the Bro has a note from a physician excusing him from having anybody's back.

148) A Bro doesn't listen to chick music...in front of other Bros. When alone, a Bro may listen to, say, a Sarah McLachlan album or two, but only to gain valuable insights into the female psyches, not because he finds her melodies tragically haunting yet curiously uplifting at the same time.

149) A Bro pretends to understand and enjoy cigars.

150) No sex with you Bro's ex.
It is never ever permissible for a Bro to sleep with his Bro’s ex. Violating 



Monday, May 24, 2010

littlest things

some littlest things, reveal your true colors.
bastards.
am i thinking too much? or am i just another guy who's lost in the jungle swarming with bastards?

been hell'offa ride.
it's only Monday yet, i'm closing my eyes, tightly praying for Wednesday to come.
one day down tomorrow.
i just hope things will get over soon.
Tuesday's as deadly.
might be meeting kenneth sim, to show him our progress but we did nothing.
let's hope he ain't free.
:(

head out right after i'm home.
been feeling, empty.
ah yes i know, people goes, RONNIE DON'T GET SO EMO.
but fuck, before i know it, the poison just takes over me D:
head out anyways, yes. jubeat.
that sorta' takes my trouble off for a bit.
been sleeping in the bus before that, thinking...
should i take up some odd jobs? flyers, or some shit jobs? :/
seriously i'd been over spending recently.
*prays* whoever up there, i really need this bursary >_<

Greed or Need?
PlayStation 3.
Greed i think, but i need to play Little Big Planet :(
there's still alot of things i still haven do.
awww damn, and all requires money.
FuCK.

did you guys, got your Mondays ruined and however it got worse when more and more fuckers came in and stain your day?
that's what happened to me.
have no rights to rant since i spend a rather good day out @ town w/ sue after that.
almost bought Aldo shoes, but... :(
NO SIZE ~

farque this.
ahh got coffee bean coffee in the end.
OH YES! the coffee bean card.
:0
have to get it next week.
Have to. D:

before i go, let me share with you 20 Inspirational Quotes To Live By‏ from FeedBlitz. they're awesome :)

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein

“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” – Albert Ellis

“The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.” – Bill Copeland

“If what you’re doing is not your passion, you have nothing to lose.”

“The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.”

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” – George Eliot

“All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney

“What the mind can conceive, it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill

“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are difficult.” – Seneca

“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

“Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” -Albert Einstein.

“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” -Milton Berle

“The sky has never been the limit. We are our own limits. It’s then about breaking our personal limits and outgrowing ourselves to live our best lives.”

“Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresea, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.” – Life’s Little Instruction Book, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

“First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win.” – Mahatma Gandhi

“When you can’t change the direction of the wind — adjust your sails.” ~ H. Jackson Brown

“Everything you want should be yours: the type of work you want; the relationships you need; the social, mental, and aesthetic stimulation that will make you happy and fulfilled; the money you require for the lifestyle that is appropriate to you; and any requirement that you may (or may not) have for achievement or service to others. If you don’t aim for it all, you’ll never get it all. To aim for it requires that you know what you want” ~ Richard Koch

“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” – Albert Ellis

“Confidence comes not from always being right but not fearing to be wrong”

“Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drowned your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs


Cheers

Friday, January 22, 2010

the days.

"eh... why like that one"
"wey, dont like that leh"
"weyyyyyyyy don't like that larh"

"nabeh, bo bi tio leh"
:(

well, school's at the last day today.
finally week end is here.
hing called yesterday, so oh well.
head off with sam after camping @ sg pool.
arghs! >_< shld have follow-ed.
down on luck :x

shag day.
lose soccer bettings.
head out with kunda, and sue.
oh well, saw jon, xz rick and sue at plaza initially.
*shrugs*
actually i planned to get a cardi today.

-.- and yet i still bet.
when betting plans fail.
since tue, i keep saying, win liao dont buy.
keep buy -.-
oh fuck this.

head out.
and guess who i saw?
limin. And yanling rebecca =.=
song bo.
combine lor, 4B freaks. actually planned to head over to catch a movie at first.
spy next door? :/
*eewwww*
deep down in my heart i wan something, horror, something gory, blood blood blood :D
and how shag is that, movies are full.
which i just realise recently, cinemas biz is picking up well
well not like that in the past.
and that's sudden.
okay, we gave up after checking plaza sing and cathy.
totally.
plan B. head back to BP mac slack.

dialed for Jon and Hing.
and of course! my partner in crime. Zak.
co-founder of the 99 plate oyster.
ho seh, while waiting... we kinda played true or dare.
which sadly :/ the enthusiasm died down pretty fast.
what an ass.
things got worse actually -.-
P.S. heyy he's a fucking asshole. i bet his face is a fist magnet.
that's what i thought, when things went wrong the best remedy is to drop whatever shit we're engaging.
yep.

pretty late after that, it was GUYS TIMEEEEEE
ya, gossip about hing's NS crap.
catching up with each other about the weeks.
well seems like i'd been missing quite alot here and there.
well, not that much, but projects pretty much tied me down.
and on a teeny weeny thought, am i being sensitive? i hope things get fixed.

Happiness, is like a helium balloon. lost it, and it's gone forever. - Ronnie Tan


reminds me of my song someday ago.
what was it again? hmmm
CHEERS.

Friday, January 15, 2010

yons.

yes, been ages since i'd blogged. Well, here's one for you blogger.
today's a total nightmare.
we stayed up, and as there was lesson at 8am, we wanted to stay up and head for mac at 7 since it was a teeny weeny while more away.

ok, lights off.

you're the last thing which came to my mind before i sleep, didn't know it would become such a long nightmare.

ya, what the fuck. & yes we broke up. up up up up up up up up up
"i'm single, i guess"
*shrugs* what things lead to, with the lack of trust, the power of unlimited denial only unleashes my rage.
at that point of time, it was like.
Single better right?

the indecisive me, really went into a "stimulated events" (an inside joke). And "DIT MODE" (deep in thoughts)
oh well, fuck this anyways, i overslept. My free breakfast from lix and sam is goneeee. goneeeee.
i only head back to power nap because mushmom was not spawned after 20 mins.
FUCK THIS.

Rule of Life.

"Never trust power naps, they ruins and distorts your life, and you can blame no one for that".

i feel so damn fucked up sorry.
you know the feeling of missing out?
it's like say todya go out, u nvr go the rest go.
sibei gien,
thought school sucks -.-
thought we have no pussies.
dicks really bought colors to my life
anda i'm still straight| thanks.
dicks are like crayons, while pussies are like pastel.
either way, i'm fine with crayons.

guys if you see this, i'm so fucking sorry.
-.-
really.

and yes, a lesson learnt.
when only 30 mins away, 1 thing. Tahan.
CHEERS :(


*2nd part*

sorry again bros.
slack at home till night before heading off to meet the Rangers.
ah welcome Derrick Jasper! XD
after a supper and beo-ing girls @ BPP mac.
head off to chat, before heading back..

been wasting too much time i guess.
decisions, are like snake and ladder.
either they fuck you up.
or they bring u closer to success.

Quote of the Day

"The one important thing I have learned over the years is the difference between taking one's work seriously and taking one's self seriously. The first is imperative, the second is disastrous."
– Margot Fonteyn


&thanks to those who had shown concern.
didn't realise some of them actually reads my blog still -.-
okay. i thought i only got like, that small handful of 4-5 readers only =x
since i just blog for myself.
ah thanks anyways (:

well, maybe somethings are different now.
i...well.
time to change.
maybe *shrugs*

CHEERS.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

curse.

Quote of the Day

"Become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid."
– Lady Bird Johnson


Well, ages since i'd blog, and i'm still considering whether to go back, and put all those in words.
too fatigue, as my life had gone towards the hectic way. Slacking, wasting of time, and poor time management. The start of the week, i just planned to start reading, and i failed -.-
shucks, project undone, everything starts piling up on us.

Got a copy of the Last Laugh from the Lib, reckon'd it'll be nice. & yes it was! i was attracted by it's album art at first. i love exotic covers XD it's a valuable addition to my itunes, wont it?




and here's a preview for 2 of their songs.
it's a collab of geek and english.
(: special.





CHEERS'

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Quote of the Day

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
– Albert Einstein


Went over to Sam's house for project.
woots, Insanity - finaly stop my 9 losing streak :x
Life's a shag.

CHEERS (:

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

098

Quote of the Day

"Be happy. It's one way of being wise."
– Colette


i heaved a big fucking sigh.

happy? how happy can i get?
well, not mentioning losing soccer and top it up with some family issue.
i just can't seem to get my life right.
what more can i lose?
then i went over to check the caliari vs roma match, which i randomly thinks will end up with a total goal of 3.
that at least might helps. but at the 90th minute. that fucker D.L.B. Lopez scored.
):
oh well, i can understand that they at least wanna draw. i'm keeping my mouth zip about the sg iran match, screw this.

anyways, i guess i just gonna moderate myself. If i keep forcing upon my luck, it just wont get any better.
getting rid of my bad habits? just got a book from the lib this morning,
i thought it's gonna be a brand new fresh nice day, when i reach sch at 8.30 (:
i plant a smile on my face, and beo girls on bus =x
read the papers, and got a book from the lib,
titled THE RULES OF LIFE.
i wanted to get it from borders at first.
oh well, i kinda wasted all my cash on something else.
at least i found you now darling (:
it's a book by Richard Templar. 2 thumbs up for that (:




was reading the papers, and there's this poor girl who had born w/o limbs since birth.
yes she moved the malaysians with the determination of living with her right foot.
and she'd moved me as well.
"heaven isn't really fair de hor?"
"why give some ppl incomplete body"
"ya lor..."
"chee bye lah"
"shag"
i wish she can continue to be motivated and determine.
humans are like that, they can't seem to cherish what they have.

nevertheless, the day is like 3. 2 off for the bad things.
but at least i know i'd got good friends, well no no best friends.
i'm sure at least that's the priceless things that no one can snatch it away from me:x
somemore :/
CHEERS ^______^

Sunday, January 3, 2010

people.

Quote of the Day

"Man can only become what he is able to consciously imagine."
– Dane Rudhyar


head off to meet jerry, lix and sam to work on our project. however we just end up gossiping about SNSD and watching SNSD.
did i just say that kara nicole is hot? :D



song bo!?
head off and meet zak after that,
yes, talk about all the bad stuff again ):
what a fucking irony fitness corner.
money money money. If only we're rich.

school's tomorrow, and monday blues are bound to hit me.
anyways before i go!

here's a fact from 5 factor diet!

Add Pep to Your Meals
Face it — the more effort you put in to looking and feeling great, the greater the reward. Even when it comes to preparing your meals, a little elbow grease goes a long way. Did you know that grinding your own pepper adds more flavor to a dish than sprinkling on pre-ground pepper? The reason: You're using the pepper the moment it's ground, so it's much fresher and more fragrant than pepper that may have been sitting on store shelves for months! All you need is a pepper mill, which you can pick up at just about any home goods or kitchen supply store (or even your local supermarket). Pepper mills vary in price depending on the material and brand, but a basic model shouldn't set you back more than a few bucks. So get to grinding!

Friday, December 18, 2009

18 divide 2

Quote of the Day

"All human wisdom is summed up in two words; wait and hope."
– Alexandre Dumas


well, it'd been a short day today.
Adel can over for abit and we kinda like watched some drama together.
it was like 9pm until i head over to plaza to meet kunda and razak.
got our late night dinner and we kinda slack and chat.
y..yup using ENGLISH T_T
oh well :D
came over to my house after that, zomg ~
did try dling l4d over the net, and razor's torrent apparently is uber slow.
tried with globes but still got some lags and spike.
if only i'm rich, i would have get a fucking desktop.

here's something to share!
"what a discovery :x"



& it's holidays already!
i really need a long break, but it's a fucking short one this time.

CHEERS (:

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

two

Quote of the Day

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."
– Sir Winston Churchill


woke up at 3 :D
and went up to use the internet!
came cross this !

SNSD! <3
yoona's pretty in this



look at 5.25! cute XD
nb stupid guy eat her tofu >_<
SNSD to Singapore? vote for them @ SISTIC NOW!

well, didn't really have much motivation today :(
to study.
reflections :

there's alot of things i need to do,
that includes treating Adel better, :(
i'm a jerk.

CHEERS >_<

Monday, December 7, 2009

Heart - Night

ages since i'd post.
i'm like simply lazy.
it's yet about monday blues again.
common test's in next week.
yet the 5 of us are tonning.

Quote of the Day

"Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit."
– e. e. cummings

head right off after lesson, and head back to put my bag.
we kinda got a present for Sam
Happy Birthday SAMUEL.
P.S. you're one fucked up maknae (:

so Sam head back first, while Frank went off first do deal with some personal issue
while me jw and lix, went to plaza to get present.
well plaza is a bad place to get present for guys.
you get what i mean *nudge*
no nice male apparels and not much gift shops

we kinda regroup there after!

head out to enjoy! :D
did the usuals, LAN
Sang GEE and SORRY SORRY @ KTV.
LIKE A SHIOK!

-Random
















&i like how fucked up we where (:
CHEERS.

Monday, November 30, 2009

plus +

Monday blues?
let the trance of Tell me You wish takes you away!



Quote of the day.

"Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together."
– Vincent van Gogh

well, woke up pretty early today for some make up lesson.
and we ended skipping 2 hours worth of RMR and REL.
so it's only a 3 hours session today.
well, thing better be good.
our pensum's not out yet, and well we're trying something constructive tomorrow.
hope it all works well.

did i said i got a copy of Tekken 6 for my PSP?!
oh well i'm like so anticipating for that, and i kinda got disappoint for this one.
the audio deprove
3rd P costume removed.
custom suit not shown during story mode.

oh well, but at least something good is that, hair styles are finally customizable now. The quality is pretty far off from the PS3 one,
the PS3 one is OH MY GOODNESS
i'm still praying that KOF comes into psp.
however, i'm currently fine with tekken,
the graphic's not bad, but at first, i really felt that somethings was missing.
"did i get the wrong one?"
"is this really tekken 6?"
"is there gonna be an 'expansion sort of thing?'"

as a tekken fan,
well i really felt that something was missing. T_T
somehow.
i couldn't put my finger on it, and surprisingly, people at gamespot and gamefaq are talking about that too!
yes
but oh well, i seriously expected more. T_T
i don't mind paying a whole good 2GB for this game.










and would you take a look at ZAfina!? :D







that hair's suchha turn on !

anyways Tekken 6 on PSP.
well worth a try. just that, i wish there could be more!
alright turning in.
.
CHEERS

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

be.

"Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision."
– Peter Drucker


well, kinda had a struggle with my valuation today.
this is what happens when u skip lectures.
and play PSP in class.
oh well, nevertheless today's still a great day.
despite having no presentation for one of my question for tutorial, with the aid of markers and drawings, we kinda scrap through.

anyways.
it's a long dya today, 9 - 6.
so, nothing much after all,
yet wednesday is the break thru.
as thursday pass in a flash, and friday had a warm welcoming hug.
i'm looking forward thou, whether if things will be successful in friday like then.
i HOPE.
clash of interest, thou might set things ablaze,
but i hope alittle friendship and compromise-sation might do the trick.
anyways, head back as soon as i can.
and started regaining mana infront of my laptop.
today sucks.
tired.

&my sorethroat ain't getting any better.
hmmmmm and before i GO.
there's something i would like to share.
well perharps alittle too slow, but try comparing this.
there's this new 9 GUY band, called CHILD of EMPIRE.




and here's SNSD's GEE




well ain't there some uncanny resemblance?
like the colors and all O_O
almost like a male version of SNSD :(
it is, *shrugs*
CHEERS thou

Saturday, November 7, 2009

pieces.

Quote of the Day

"If no one ever took risks, Michelangelo would have painted on the Sistine floor."
– Neil Simon


life's pretty monotonous now,
and hereby the "pensum" began again.
started skipping a weeks worth of lecture,
can't catch the balls thrown by lecturers the week after, failed again,
and it goes on -.-
seriously where am i going?

well believe in yourself, all will be well, i told myself.
after a nice day out with Bros on Friday,
i'm pretty much relief, at least we're all together somehow.
Friends. And i'm really stuck on my com somehow -.-
anyways, been a nap day with Adel at my house.
wanted to head out and watch drama, but the idea just collapse somehow.
lots of news lately, ridiculous yet made in Singapore via EDMW and Stomp.
kids poo-ing @ ion?
*shrugs*

head out for a jog to CCK and shoot some hoops with Hing and Kun.
i ought to train more :X
NS's arriving somehow.
and i really wished i could at least pull through this

been ages since i plan a day out just for relax.
my mates wanted to hit the lan so badly that we almost did it everytime we headed to iluma.
midnight movies? well i'd like to place my bets on Paranormal Activity.

took a brisk walk back after seeing Adel home after a dinner @ Kopitiam.
i guess...?
Mum's away, and head off to Johor early in the morning,
and yes just a weekend getaway.
and after serious thoughts, it's hard to be a mum, you just can't help it but felt it's like a maid, washing and doing all the work,
well, it's a role "somehow"? isn't it?
Ronnie seriously hopes to gets all this pieced together.

the power of nine,
never dies.
CHEERS.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

nb th

Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day
"Excellence is not an act but a habit. The things you do the most are the things you will do the best."
– Marva Collins

What a thursday.
blood is rushing, thru
friday.
it last day, of the weekday.
and the evening that open the doors to fun,

unwinding myself, via my psp once again.
3 PSP User, 2 Sleepers.
no one catch any balls thrown by the lecturers.

"eh no one catch ball ah?"

"nabeh, tak chey leh"

it's our tradition to have at least one to catch* ball
as in to listen during lectures.
and well, it started all again.
no one..
Shrugs.
we kinda laughed it off.
a slow day with ABT practical for ODD week.

i WANNA COMPLAIN.
this teacher, tai hua.
he's
well, can't you have any respect for students T_T
i'm all hurt.

CHEERS _|_

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

just-a-day

Quote of the Day.

"Can anything be sadder than work unfinished? Yes, work never begun."
– Christina Rossetti

i'd barely shaking off my monday blues, and yet it's another weekday again.
it really sucks, but thankfully I&E wasn't on for today.
kinda meet up with the guys and slack it,
we're like gossiping in the library -.-

-



and poor SNSD ramen cf songs stirs up plagiarism rumors.
apparently some blogger pointed it out.
however it was cleared as the company had revealed having bought the right from the japanese company.
anyways it's something pleasant to listen to, so ENJOY.

-
anyways :D ~
any PSP user letting their PSP on the shelves?
hail the soon to arrive, TEKKEN 6.
#1 fighting game rated.
can't wait for it to be out ~

so kinda met Adel and head home thereafter,
a monotonous day,
and it's week 3,
friday fears,
and the odd week practical burden.
shucks.
going for a run later.

Friday, October 30, 2009

der riese

"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood."
– Marie Curie




well, head out today after school, with the Group.
unfortunately, zak ain't around today.
kinda hit up the coms with the usuals after fooling around.
the atmosphere was rather good, the 4 of us kinda played 3 hours of lan after a nice dinner at BK.
yes, der riese @ Nazi Zombie is out :D
time to grab ur rifles and pop some heads!
yes, it's halloween

and there's this guy, dressed as the scream inside the lift.
we kinda gets a shock :D
but it's like he's for in there 10 over hours.
for promotional purposes i think,
well, might be big if they do a overall change, that's imo.
or maybe well, change the lighting pattern to a smirking pumpkin or smth :D
alright, it's still my fav haunt nevertheless <3
Sue regroup with us later and the family was stranded in the rain T_T
we kinda ran to took 111 to skate park before NR3ing home
CHEERS (;

Thursday, October 29, 2009

fAm

Quote of the Day

"Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash."
– George S. Patton


well, blogging early today.
oh well, so kinda rushed up my Law's tutorial worksheet, today.
school's quiet today without the rest, it's only jerry and i today, with the rest not being present T_T
oh well, whatever. bottom line is; - i dreads friday still.

so anyways, manage to attend both lectures today, and taking occasion naps within both of them as well.
oh well, it's so tiring.
watch abit of Hansel and Gretel before seeing Adel over to IMM.
i kinda got to the wrong side of the bus, and i reach home after 1 and a half hours.
shit.

* * *



i want a heart warming life (:

fear creeps to my spine as friday is drawing near.
tmr determines my future fridays,
i really hope it goes well, until know i still hate elective modules.
not the subject, just the atmosphere.
CHEERS o_o

Monday, October 26, 2009

grad

Quote of the Day

"What is important is to keep learning, to enjoy challenge, and to tolerate ambiguity. In the end there are no certain answers."
– Matina Horner


Anyways head out to school on time today, after breakfast with Adel @ Ah Wang's.
kinda spend a decent $8 for a nice meal consisting for milo, eggs and kaya toast.
head over to tutorial after meeting up with the usuals.

at some point of time, i really laughed off at my this small amount of close friends
it's enough, it's enough . XD

"P.S. well, my first step of success is here :D".
and i just started out on my war novel, "Tomorrow will be Better -Walter Meyer"
was praying really hard for me to enjoy.
so after school i kinda meet up with Adel,
uh-oh, looks like she had troubles too

HAIL ALL BP DWELLERS.
there'll be a free movie screen on 31st, to commemorate halloween which falls on the last day of Oct.
8.30 - Aunty Lucy
10.00 - Drag Me To Hell

there will be free gifts as well!
check out more info at BPP ~

& anyone wanna learn the Gee dance yet still struggling now?
try this!






really hope i could catch that with my friends on the 31st, awww!
alright, heading off for a jog @ senja grand before i end my day.
cheers (;

Sunday, October 25, 2009

in- away

Quote of the Day.

"Ride on! Rough-shod if need be, smooth-shod if that will do, but ride on! Ride on over all obstacles, and win the race!"
– Charles Dickens

head out late today, with sue, kunda and vash.
well a sunday alas. head over to bugis to catch some breeze, unwinding ourselves, with the likes of war games.
first week of my new sem had start.
thou i didn't complete what i wanted to do initially, i admit i gave in to fun instead of working hard.
but it's not over yet.
time for me to get a firm grip.

1. Sleeping Early
2. Learning Jap
3. Jogging
4. Saving Money
5. Homeworks

cowon's S9 or iPod nano?
i'm still considering.

anyways, before i go here's a video i wanna share :D
it's an old vid but it's always fresh
hail SNSD ~





saw something si bei di siao.



di siao boh? ^^

CHEERS (: