HOW THE END ALWAYS IS

we can run, but we can never escape.

rewind

life's pretty okay for now.
yes i'm live, so stop checking the obituary .

not in much of a mood to blog but i guess i'm just throw in a few sentence and make do with it.
things are still going okay, but i would nvr forgotten how i was banished from the heavens, into this harsh jungles filled with politics, blowpipes and arrows. One word, survivor.
no exaggerating, but at least this pretty much opened my eyes and give me a glimpsed of the pixelized version of the working world. New year's pretty good i'd reckon?
the usual me, hitting away my blackberry why waiting for my parents to do the interaction, while i sit quietly at the corner and moving off after dinner.

hmmmmm my weekends are mundane, but however i do feel that at least that's a mental break for my suffocating weekends.

Friends,

well my clique evolved alot these days. no more big cliques and all, but just the 5 of us. and this revolution's just too funny and i nvr thought we would make this happen. 1 civilian, 2 soldiers and 2 students. Yes, students. My bro and his partner in crimes had join the ranks of us and looks like it's time for bp rangers to quieten down. Ahh and he's a freak D: (CCK Freaks) Well, friends come and goes, but at least Vash manage to stay. i didn't force him thou :3 but i guess we're pretty much very close after all the thick and thins thoughout the years, needless to say, the disappointments with other people. life's quiet for us, but not when there's kpop & booze. i pretty much enjoy the simple life i have right now thou.

Guess i'll try to make time worth my while, throwing in bytes of paragraphs whenever i can and all.

random thoughts fly thru my mine everynow and then, but i guess i gna get my berry workin' gonna link it up w/ my blog.

gone

(this is a super late post so... fark >_<)

there, i lifelessly lied on my bunk bed, starring at the wall cracks of the ceiling.
it's gonna be my last night here..
my heart beat with excitement, yet with a mixture of fear and reluctance...

***

been ages since i'd blogged, so guess my life's quite a toll out there.
it's true you see, why NSF use this famous phase that goes "where got time??"
yes, where got time? this inevitable rite of passage which took 2 years off our life is what Singapore men have to go through.

turning back the clock, i enlisted on the 7th Sept 2011. yes, i really do wanna blog about my NS life then. but.. "where got time?" (yes you know it)
the confinement week is definitely crazy, really crazy. fucking crazy. I went numb after 3 days, marching like a lifeless robot, listening to command without qualms. But the happiness from book out... God i was so happy when i'd seen civilisation. The likes of coloured cars and the beautiful buildings. I was happy, and deep inside, i was really proud of myself that i'd finally gone through level 1: confinement period.

My Company (Coy), is a rather welfare coy i guess? And it's definitely not as bad as i thought. i believed the army's improving and yes, it's actually not bad to be inside. Moving on, i'm really thankful for my superiors for making my journey a beautiful one, and also how they honed me to be a better person..

***

back to life in tekong. i curse when i board the train, curse when i board the bus, sigh when i'm on the ferry and... there im back again.
with all the usual routine, i'm back into my bunk.
was unpacking my stuff and humming some random tune to myself.

we'd all gotten pretty close i'd say. so close that we're one mini family now. but yes, i'm an oot.
yes...

was talking with one of ma' mates david, when my pc came in.

what's this look, am i going to be screwed?...

"Eh Ronnie, i'm here to inform you that we'd received news from your posting and.. you'll be posting out to.."
Initially they thought i'm be in airforce, half sad, half excited, airforce would pretty much be a privileged and rare experience in the same time.. but alas, there's some mistake and yes imma fuckyeahstoreman.
Guess i'm not flying after all..

this news hit me like how the waves hit the sea rocks. strong, but overtime, grinded to sand..

***

we exchanges regards, contacts, we sat together that night. having a pretty normal conversation, all talking to me, as if giving their attention to me to the brim as it's my finest hour.

never did i thought it would be my last night in here and i never thought things would end so fast..

we talk we laughed. i laughed too..

***

lights was off & there i was lying on my bed, oblivious to my fallen earpiece, i lay lifelessly on my bed, looking at the rotating ceiling fan. with the filtered music playing, i feel like my soul's drowned down to some unknown. while half captivated, a quarter excited, and also, fear..

i close my eyes and told myself it'll be all good, but i just can't bear leaving my bros, i know we gonna pass out, but i just dont wanna board this train first.

***

i rushed up, to do my final checks, going thru the whole platton hi fives, hand shakes exchange contacts and regards...

curse the damn lift. (spoilt)

-thud thud thud- i move slowly, carefully to keep my duffle bag balances as it trots down the stairs..
-thud thud thud-

"eh bro, posting out today ah? where u go?... ohh okok, takecare ah"

"wah where u going sia? i see i see, good luck man"

before i knew it, this surreal feeling. i'm at the office, exchanging my last words with my PC, before i'll be gone.

***

i heave my duffle bag up to the shuttle bus, heave it up the ferry.
i'm given half a day rest to prepare for tomorrow.

called up some guys and i pull the duffle bag off the ferry terminal..

"wah! oot! you're the best man! (Y)"
a roar of laugher and congratulation came from the guard room, cheering for me, as if i'd done a heroic act

"siam tekong, 8 to 5 good leh!"

why i don't feel that it's heroic at all?

***

"Uncle, bukit panjang, senja"

"can anot?"

"okay ah, u say one ah?!, uncle open the boot lei, i got a big duffle bag (points all the way 10 steps back"

***

i smiled to myself and i close my eyes.
yes i'm going home...

sky

tears formed in my eyes,
i'm just afraid.
afraid of everything,
anything.
i put my mind into froze mode, processing slow, just like a slow drifting cloud who won't move unless wind calls.
yes, i just wanted to stay next to my sun, the source of life.

there...
i'm going...
counting the hours,
lining up the things to get on my last day.

for once, i stoned at home, because i dont wanna do anything.
i just want time to move slowly,
while i'm starring at it, making time seems slow.
but yet my helpless daze did none of those magic.

there..
you'll be going, into a whole new life,
fighting in the jungle,
while me, in another jungle on some island which i probably dread visiting.
of cos i'm looking forward to NS,
but the harsh truth that's hidden below the leaves and the earth,
i'm still afraid, for the worst.

then you'll be gone, together with the wind. while i'm miles away from your scent.
the air i breathe, full of sweat and blood.
physical obstacles that put my delicate body to the test.
only think i could look forward too is my sharpened pecs, you and my friends.
brothers in arms, lets heed the call and unite on the 7th

i know we're both afraid.
let's just hope that things work out,
while we're still under the same skies.

J

my days are numbered.... before i serve the nation!
it's a mixed feeling actually, really hope NS could made me a better man. a more discipline man with balls.

rested at home today, and i finished up jungle fish 2.
a beautiful drama, no doubt.
all in for the music.



"i wanted to pat your head, hug you, telling you everything's gonna be alright"

u

might actually wanted to did alittle blogging before i sleep.
been blogging in my brains for the past few days so i was too lazy to type it all out when the commotion's over.

Was suppose to work today and yes, with a friend of mine.
i'm not sure whether do i call him a bro or whether did i earn his respect or did he even see me as a "bro" before flying me a last minute aeroplane.
you always know how it feels to threw the bomb, yet you always did it to us.
i was more disappointed? i'm so afraid of you now.

that's why i didn't wanted to work with friends to begin with. When you're all out there, it's better to fight alone isn't it i guess?

alas, it went better than i thought.
alot better? it's a long story explaining everything, so basically it's a stock taking job that requires partners in phase 2.
however, we're assigned randomly after that, and yes, i guess 1 small action would pretty much change our lives in the slightest unimaginable manner.
went to patrol 1 round before walking back up, and thus...

i was assigned to a guy who's easier to communicate with. the one before's pretty english thou D:
moving on, when i reach i sorta picked up afew loners who might be easy to socialise with and yes, them :D people who're working alone as well. might be hard to break the ice at first, but before we know it, we're eating snakes. But basically alot other people are as well, and we didn't manage to finish up on time thou ~
you guys know how much i love randomness and peculiar characters and this is one of the best social links that i'd gotten this year. There's this ang mo speaking guy who looks like wolverine, some pk look alike w/ ang kong & a very ordinary typical SIM guy well i'm the maknae thou D:

P.S. all in late 20s and have completed NS.

FML on that one.
guess that'll be all for today~ nights.

i knew you were having problems.
goodnight baby

r

this is obviously not an act of insomnia, no idea how i got the drive to get into this page despite chrome having an auto log in function. but i guess i sorta enjoyed life to the "fullest" so far but enjoying everyday.
yes, everyday. Finding something to do everynow and then, and even expanding my social link with Adel's Mum.

went over for a hair cut, but it's still awkward to get a sleek & short hair cut. I still think i looked pretty dork TwT
but i appreciate the cut thou, mum says it's so far my best so i'm having my fingers crossed.

no idea what i'm been doing despite enjoying everyday. somehow i'm wavering amongst my goals. I finally started working, short term day basis: Stock taking.
and i seriously missed blogging despite my fingers not being smart enough to get to this page.
i'd been doign quite alot lately and life's pretty fast paced.
all there's before i got in, just afew important things i'd to do:

- Army Phone
- Magical Items from E-Mart
- Passport
- Exercise

my heart's been beating so darn fast lately, and i'm really glad that i'm still alive. I know i'm no tony stark, but i'm being rebellious and also didn't dare to get a check up done. Would be covering the things that i'm doing these few days,

was into a gaming Social Link for the pass week, but i'm not as hardcore thou, just clocked in 2 hours or 3 each session. Met up with those dudes but guess i don't belong eventually when they migrated into an RPG game and guess i left sooner than i expected. To think i thought of playing that during the closed beta D: ah yes, Dragon Nest. go google it gamers, but dont get addicted please.

Gaming aside, i've more than enough supper session with my guys and also, unexpectedly getting pretty close with Robs and from here on we had cooking session, mac orders and also movie marathons. And for the first time, i created my very own curry noodles w/o any other sauce/ flavour which is a pretty "lame" achievement to my cooking career. Manage to get my brother back on track, but unknowingly thrown him into the abyss of kpop. he's so so into t-ara now. so i guess that runs in the blood.

Been sliding down on the r/s thou. Thou i'm feeling drained thou
Nightmares, my retarded sensitiveness. I know you're more than i could ask for. you're more than a guardian angel. but somehow i just lack the balls to do the leap of faith.
i'm not a phoney person either, i reply messages late, i know but it might be something that i wanted to change before i shave my hair.
wanted to set our r/s stable before i raise the sail.

Maybe my life's too fast, or maybe i'm too lazy to finish my quest but roam around and be an ass. I felt pretty drain and probably getting my body clock back is a good idea. Doing reading, by coffee sounds fantastic.

Gigantic turmoil down on my secret career/ dont ask me why.

Friends. During this pass few weeks. i see colors. yes, true colors. whether you're being and ass, or are you acting you know it yourself. Being sensitive on one side, i could see what cards are you having in your sleeves, you're easy to read, but i still trail along and play. but true friends, i admit i didn't have much. didn't have much.
not being subjective but i was once that ever desperate, to get engulf by this gigantic epiphany. your true friend is non other than your lover. I know the bro-code. bros before hoes, but how many of them actually honour this code nowadays? gentlemen or slave you decide. praying to myself that i could actually stretch out my hands and pamper adel before she runs away.
i know you guys might say, nah, your lover can never be your friends. But if you could just think for 1 minute without your dick, without sharing who's hot on the other side of the street or who might you bang if she's keen for an ONS. i assure you, with great communication, a lover being your best friend is no problem.
that's what they termed it soul mate right? yes. it's not just a key to your heart. it's a fucking masterkey that opens everything there's to it.

Problems with my friends was what it kept me busy sometimes as well.
it's hard to play therapist when you have to endure the session where they share their pain. but you could only listen. You know you can only talk and give them strength, but there's all there's to it. If there's no solution, you could only gave them the same old theories that everyone knows, the dawn's breaking, or the sun will shine after the storm.
Hate this ridiculous feeling, and then i tweeted

"hate this feeling of utter helplessness. i can only watch you burn and then sprayed you with a fire extinguisher."

we can never compare people, only products as for people there's a long string of personalities and traits combination that might seemingly be limitless, but it's still hard to be placed into somebody's shoe. I'm not living in bliss as well, i hate it when people are crawling bit by bit beside me.

This is like one gigantic report for me to read up and all.
But nevertheless may all goes well.
Guess it's sunday now, so guess it's time to wrap this gigantic blogpost up and get going. & OH, this is my first post for august 2011. must've been a joke.

Schedule for coming week

MON: vivo w/ robs (unconfirmed) Jogging
TUE: Jogging @ Noon/ Working @ Night
WED: Work ends @ 9am
THU:
FRI: Meet up with WDL
SAT: E-Mart w/ Hing
SUN:

Additional things to get down before this few weeks

- call up starhub
- take a friggin photo for my passport

u nvr knows how much i hate this fucking feeling.

nth's every probably happening in my life now that's why it's so blank D:
of course there're some epic-ness that i'd missed blogging into here, but blame my lazy ass for this ~

brains are rotting.
i feel less intelligent.



didn't realise SG had sucha flash mob

people change.

didn't really had any drive to blog. been lazy around in the day, and active at night.
my nocturnal persona just completely took over me and i'd been organizing night activities for me and my mates. Just so you know it,s nothing dirty :D

we'd been over changi for a night, suppering @ timah fragging cultural dishes and even to the extent of fooling around at our old hang out, the multi storey carpark. Brings back memories thou. Stopping the car, and chatting inside like 5 old married men, that one's pretty funny thou.

Kbox for Monday :D as there's a $8 per pax for a 3-4 hours session in the night on a 7-2 time frame, you'll get either 7-10 or 10-2 if you're lucky. it's a pretty cool perks to get me start vibrating my vocal box. Things pretty much went wrong at first, but i'm glad it turned out well.
went to met vic with my brother after that for supper but i really didn't imagine it would last that long, when we had a post supper chat.

saw 2 flens there as well and we kinda engage in a small conv..

FML it
(soli no mood) ._.

~ ~ ~

DR2M

double or triple layered dream today.
it's still kinda vivid.

rest at home cos' had a day out yesterday.
so i just lay down at home, waking up at 2, and hoping for lunch.
didn't get my hopes up since it's 4 then, and i just ate chips and cookies waiting for dinner.

can't believe all happened in a span of 2 hours.
got so fucking tired that i missed the 6pm's music bank.

***

i always enjoy dreaming & somehow usually i'm in control to carry out actions & all and today's pretty much fresh
surreal feeling and in i went, it all started out in a classroom, where some guys and i planned an expedition out to some random country, train travelling's the in thing and we decided to travel by train and explore the gigantic plateau.
Somehow we know that it might be dangerous and all since there're people missing their rides, and got lost.
but travel agency always provide this "customer service" thingy, inwhich if you were to miss your ride, u can always get onto another ride, or u still can get back to your country. by flashing the proof of purchase card u're covered of all travelling expenses via train for the trip back home.

so there we go.
but there wasn't any concrete places where we stayed so it felt pretty weird still..
we travel to a variety of places, and i remembered london :D fanciful hotel doors and it's beautiful city-scape. it's more like a class trip, but happiness doesn't last long.
nightmare arises as soon as 5 of our mates got missing. *doing headcount and realises* but there's this system so we didn't worried.
stop at England or Britain where we went over to 7-11 for a 15 mins break.
get the drinks and stuff, and derrick and i sort of horse around by the counter.
and yes, we missed the train..

so we waited and waited..
saw a train coming down and derrick say he'll run ahead to check first, but since it looked pretty far away and somehow it's downstairs. i waited for awhile and god knows why and how i jumped out of the window and onto the train, i zipped in by the window and i was astound by weird natives before my eyes.
by then the train'd started going & there's no sight of derrick at all.

GG....
i tried pleaded for the conductor to get me down, but outside i saw seas of blue and green.
probably no way to get down. It's a train from china, going to some countries for war. Would take 1 month before they return (when i can transfer). I'm dying inside but there's this strange girl in purple who told me to get used* to it.

what comes after is a month a epic drama which i don't seem to rmb. At least i rmb i ran in a bulletstorm.
and alas' i'm out.

>>> layer 2.
awoke up in some chalet like dormitory, it's early in the morning and some of our gangs are up.
some of us are brewing coffee and beverages, while others sat by the dining table talking and stuff.
i kinda overhead kunda recounting his experience and apparently we shared the same dream..

*phone calls*
it get's sorta fuzzy and it went back into semi conscious mode

>>> layer 2.5
happens after awhile, and this is super real.
i was closing my eyes, half asleep when i heard the door open, someone putting things down and all.
i thought it was adel, and i was literally beaming inside when i thought she came over and visit me. so after all that, i can feel someone climb onto the bed, lying next to me. i faintly open my eyes and saw a solitude but it all ends when i tried to hug her

was too seh to feel wtf but fuck this shit.
anws. i guess it's because we haven't met for ages.

FO

Family Outing: Kpop Karaoke~

almost brought lot2 down to the ground.
first we sang kpop songs, yes u might ask, i just know alil' but i was babbling nonsense while they do their stuff.
did all the 2pm and SNSD stuff and D:

*i swore i plan to leave kpop for good when i know i'm a listener of many genre, but 75% of my household members are addicted to kpop*

we started out well, and of cos i sang my fav qiu fo too :D
took the atmosphere to the next level sing my bro's there & he's a clubba-maniac.
god knows when we started screaming off the lyrics and jumping on the cushions like unfed monkeys.

FML chui voice x999 naoz.

Amazing KBOX PERKS @ lot2 on Mondays, $8 for members! call up & book now!

R

adel really need a denim jacket
i really wanna get a denim jacket for her

# i'm a sucker for vintage/retro stuff ~

huatah.
today's a sucky day.... ever tried waking up during evening/night time of the day?
well today's not the worst, but certainly it sucks to overslept on a Sunday





***

planning my days for this week and..
it's pretty much empty O_O

MON:
TUE:
WED:
THU:
FRI: out w/ rangers
SAT: out w/ rangers
SUN:

things to do

- update passport

listening all the at sing now.
very seh and high.

pardon my sing-gar-por-li-ang slang.



feel like tearing some building down w/ my blardy voice naozzz

u R

you're my little star...

chanced upon this song, and i clicked it by mistake, but the first few verse swept me off.
what's better than healing you soul with some acoustics while chilling in your room?

***

Day's rather good. glad that i woke up early..
been slacking and up on my com, and yes i'm a game hopper, so expect me to get bored of super street fighter in 2 days.
just dropping in occasionally to play a fight or 2 before exiting D:

mood's pretty at level 0. lazy to do anything, and thought i'll be lazy to socialise as well. Probably be heading out for some dinner with poly friends and of cos, including 2 female classmates which i portray a very quiet persona too so...
expect me to feel uneasiness D:

anyways, things turned out pretty.... well i guess?
at least better than i expected. & i tried my very best to maintain my gentlemenly-ness and not embarrassing myself D:

meet sue by my house and wooo yes i didn't went home and we got onto his wheels and zipped to clarke quay :D just some "sight" seeing and walking around. yes, more like an exercise actually, walked over to marina and loop back, just some emo-talk by the river.
we're not really that close, but... well we can made do with some emo chat about society problems and rants about poverty can't we?
get to timah to prata before coming back :D
***

saw this by girls day.
try it! it's quite interesting, taking up the concept of the dating sim game

RM

it's pretty late so i guess i'll do some blogging before i sleep.
plan to turn my body blog back, so i woke up pretty early,
hmmm what time was it? 9?

anyways, had churned up this weird concoction of food down in my stomach and i'm feeling pretty weird after that.
bananas + coffee + bread w/ butter.
got myself a copy of super street fighter arcade edition and i'm doing some training before Adel issue me some impromptu challenge.

kinda slacked my day off before heading out for a haircut.
didn't manage to find any alternatives so i'm back @ sunshine again. & well i'm not sure whether it failed me or not butttt, my back's pretty thick O_O

&omg i was kinda stunned by what someone whom i forgotten who, (one of adel's friends) or 2?
well here's a MR removed version of t-ara Roly Poly. what's really happening at then..



i was obviously dumbfounded and quite disappointed thou that doesn't stop me from liking the song but... WOW? D:
and the fans before that shouting, sounds really like some hokkien peeps, but wow.. i dont really have a beautiful voice myself if you'd seen me struggling to sing @ kbox which i don't know why i enjoy paying to embarrass myself, and alas, the power of MR. it's like singing alongside with the original singer's voice, covering ur *ehem* not so good voice.

credits to sookyeong as i'm finding out what's the MR removed all about...

There has been recently a craze amongst netizens to post up ‘MR removed’ videos on the internet which also led to many comparing the vocal powers of various singers.
‘MR removed’ videos minimizes any MR (music recorded) in the song and maximizes the vocal of the singer – the singer’s vocal will be the only thing audible possible.
For a singer who cannot sing well, with all the sound magnification and voice companion at the chorus, the song may sound alright. But with the ‘MR removed’ version, only the vocal of the singer will be clearly audible.
Especially recently, a lot of ‘MR removed’ versions of live performances have been posted on the internet, and netizens have been comparing between singers on their vocal prowess.
Currently, the hot favourites for ‘MR removed’ clips are done mostly on popular groups and also other singers – but dance songs have been given especially sharp evaluations by the netizens.

But wow, i really gotta admit that SNSD's really good on this one.



& no doubt f(x) doing very good too!



***

OMG, kinda chanced upon this.
wow can't believe some malays are actually so damn good @ music :D
ZOMG, and it's dream high and someday~
not really about the vocals but, wow D:

Dream High



Someday



i'm secretly hoping that kpop will unite the world (:

MAPLEmonday

woke up at like 8pm today?
zomg wtf, kana fuck
went pasar malam, nth much probably sleeping soon. & planning my week...

MON: out
TUE: hair cut..??
WED: dinner? (not sure)
THU: meeting adel
FRI: meeting aaron/rangers
SAT:
SUN:

Things to Do

-update passport
-act, win 7
-report ic found
-get a fucking guitar &*^&*@^##$@!!!
-start running

***

am bored and was finding random private server to crash @ while doing nth.
so after that, my curiosity sorta escalate and i went on to find out some korean maple updates.
imma spamming maple video.
maple monday.

D:

SG server's moving so slow while korea's so imba, zomg.
*sorry for video spam, saving the vids for myself* D:

now can even PVP ~



So if' i'm not wrong...
it goes like this...

Big Bang > Chaos > Technology Age > MapleLegend~

Tech age trailer. zomgsocool X3



Latest AKA up coming w/ job previews.



cannon shooter,



mercedes,



CIAOS~

welloy

yes. movies!
pretty good day to start my month of july right?
my june postings are not done yet, but i'm moving on first yo.
PS. gmarket GSM is so hard to use~

well pretty much, been a robot fan ever since imma kid and transformer's always on top of my list.
of course, there's medabots & metal arms, but i'm pretty much a closet yellow fan you know, so all of my fav robots are pretty much...
alike...?

Metal Arms




Medabots




& transformers~




hellyea i miss bee >_<
anw while i'm at it, let me show you one of my top items on my shopping cart :D




***

moving on, head out with the guys today.
Derrick, Jon, Kun & Vash.
been ages since rick n jon join us for our late nights out @ town but, alas~
anyways, did nothing much, just bused over to iluma @ 9 caught movie, slack and chill and home sweet home~
been a pretty short day for me since i woke up at 5!
awwww, i forgot all about roly poly >_<



thank goodness jiyeon no dog hair today~

***

3rd instalment of this trilogy titled dark of the moon and yes :D
it's worth the watch, despite some pretty dry up content.



and yes i so agree that the film's much more emotional.
soundtracks scoring more for this one rather than the film




sad to say, there're too much coincidence to make the film pretty dry, and you're not gonna be shaking at the edge of the sit. Of course, there's some drama in there, but pretty much overwhelmed by the intense, and sleek graphical renders that got your eyes wide and popping.
and yes, finally my "english-song" mode kinda kicked in since this movie used lots of beautiful song.

sadly, this marks the end of this awesome sci-fi movie ain't it?

# PLANS THAT MAKES ME SLEEP EARLY

- meeting adel @ 10 on sat
- zak morning pop on sun