Fighter

I'll be a fighter,
I won't back down.
I will live,
I will survive this,
I will move on from here, a stronger man.
A better me.

sccess

mixed feeling.
how should i feel right now?
a chance to break away from the defaulter's life?

a life full of debts,
tied down by the bank loan,
working everyday, slogging for your family,
selling your car because you know the math,
ended up tying your kids to ruffia strings, and board the bus, while praying that it wont flip.
you'll probably ended up pulling your hair while drowning your screams in a noisy pub not knowing while your life is so fucked up.

i dont know,
whether am i of quality,
whether does this orthodox fraternity would open up the gates of my life.
am i thinking too small?
i don't know,
i know how much i crave to succeed,
but nevertheless, it's all those little bits of sprinkles that i'm looking at,

what's your next move?

define success,
i would probably define it by doing something i like.
when you do not hate your job,
when i can wake up early in the morning, make breakfast for my kids,
bacon and eggs,
then i would kiss my wife awake,
drive them all to work, to school,
beating to the music in my car while i turn back to the aisle of my home in my simple car.
back to the comforts of my home, i turn on my laptop and get to "work" while sipping a beer.

how much of these would come true?

thousand years

Darlin' don't be afraidI have loved you for aThousand yearsI'll love you for aThousand more...

(Verse 1)Heart beats fastColors and promisesHow to be braveHow can I love when I'm afraidTo fallBut watching you stand aloneAll of my doubtSuddenly goes away somehow
One step closer
(Chorus)I have died everydaywaiting for youDarlin' don't be afraidI have loved you for aThousand yearsI'll love you for aThousand more
(Verse 2)Time stands stillbeauty in all she isI will be braveI will not let anythingTake awayWhat's standing in front of meEvery breath,Every hour has come to this
One step closer
(Chorus)I have died everydayWaiting for youDarlin' don't be afraidI have loved you for aThousand yearsI'll love you for aThousand more
And all along I believedI would find youTime has broughtYour heart to meI have loved you for aThousand yearsI'll love you for aThousand more
One step closerOne step closer
(Chorus)I have died everydayWaiting for youDarlin' don't be afraid,I have loved you for aThousand yearsI'll love you for aThousand more
And all along I believedI would find youTime has broughtYour heart to meI have loved you for aThousand yearsI'll love you for aThousand more

write

ages since i'd last written when i'd finally succumbed to laziness.
everyday sentences just drift away from my head,
my thoughts then,
every little thing.
but i'm not blind, for i still see.

thank you for everyone who made it happened for my birthday.
i could never be more than thankful for the awesome gifts and yet ironically the greatest gifts are the perfectly forged friendship throughout the years.
a brotherhood, made to engrave in my soul forever.
thanks for the wishes, the meet ups, the little surprises.

i'm alright,
still trying to coping with life.
it's okay to fall as so they said,
i'm slowly getting up on my feet,
everyday when i soak my face in the towel, feeling the towel absorbing the water in my eyes, i slowly blinked and looked in the mirror,
"will today be the day?"

"procrastination, will you leave me today?"

sitting at the edge of the bed, this faceless ghost that'd be haunting me,
seducing me with nasty temptations and guilty pleasures.
i gave in,
i surrender,
i push all my chips down onto the table knowing that i could beat that royal flush.
she winked, and i fall

been ages since i last written
yes, probably so.
and i'm been trying my very best to pick myself up,
my body's killing me,
the aches did it's usual way of greeting my morning,
the way i twist and stretch my bones while trying to sleep
how unmotivated i could get while it all comes.

like a monk who'd forgotten his mantra,
i'm just as defenseless as a child against the ghosts of temptation.
and that's how the better of me went down.

this hiatus wont be for long,
i know it.
the mask that have to be worn everyday,
the things i'd been holding on up till now,
i looked at how far have i gone as i typed my application for my uni,
god knows how i could get an A for real estate investment, and many other foreign modules that didn't ring a bell to me.

i'll be back,
i'll be going in to the jungle.
back to holding on the twisted rung where people alike fight for survival in this concrete jungle.